The Monster and the Scavenger
by Birgitta Snyder
Summary: Still connected, by the Force and by their physical attraction, Rey and Ren meet on Jakku. Here Rey finally lets Ren be her teacher. As they travel to different planets, their connection grows. But what side will claim them, the Light or the Dark?
1. Chapter 1

**1.** **KYLO REN**

 _"Ben"_

Once again it awakes me. Her voice whispering my name. Making me and everything around me tremble. Her never-ending presence is like the Force. It surrounds me and beckons me. Only I can not control it. It controls me.

 _"Ben. Please don't go this way."_

I had thought it would be the memory of my father's last moment which would forever haunt me; his words, his eyes, his shock and heartbreak as I killed him.  
I was wrong. It is her. All her. Her stabbing words asking me not to drift back into the darkness. Her eyes, tear-soaked and pleading, begging me to join her in the light. Her distraught when she believed herself to mean less.

 _"You're nothing ... but not to me."_

I meant it. I still mean it.

I rise from my bed, the thin black silk sheet falling from my body to the cold floor. It's barely dawn but it's pointless. Once she has me, nothing comes easy: sleep, eating, thinking, breathing, living... Galaxies apart and she has me. She, a scavanger, has me... Kylo Ren... Son of Darkness... Supreme Leader... Heir to Darth Vader...  
I was once fearless and feared. And now I feel as if I am neither. She has weakened me and I should hate her for it. I should but I can't. Hate which has always come so easily fails me when it comes to her. Even as she tried to kill me, even as she cut and scarred me, I never felt hate. It was something else I felt. Something I fear to name. Something I refuse to name. If I name it, it becomes real, it becomes the truth, and then it is over. Kylo Ren will be no more and Ben Solo will live again. Ben Solo who was weak and foolish, and who let himself be controlled and nearly killed by his own family.

"No!" My voice echoes in my bare metal chamber as I declare my refusal to go this path. "The past is dead. There is no going back. It's too late."

 _"It's not too late."_ Her voice whispers yet again. _"Ben"._

Ben. I hate that name. I hate hearing it said. I hate being called by it. And yet, each time she says it, I stir. I remember the first time she called me Ben instead of Kylo Ren. We were in the elevator, her hands shackled, and I was bringing her to see Snook. My mind was not made up yet. I still did not know what I had to do. When the Force connected us, she had moved me . The touch of her fingertips had inched me closer to the light. But I was still not there. So when she spoke, talking of how she felt the conflict in me, I didn't react. It wasn't until she said it... _Ben_. She had spoken my name, the name that I hated because it stood for everything that I wanted to kill. Yet when she said it, I didn't feel anger or hate. It woke me up. It gave me resolve.

 _"I'll help you,"_ she had whispered and she had made me hope.

But then she denied me.

Furious at the memory of it, I walk over to the window to overlook my empire of power and metal. The First Order, the most powerful entity in the Universe. This could have all been hers, ours. We could have ruled together. She would have been my equal in everything. If she had just been able to let go. But she is still holding on to her past, to the death of Han Solo, and to the rebels. As long as her friends are alive, she will not be able to let go.

"Find them," I order as I later enter the command deck and they all begin to scramble, eager to please me.

 **1\. REY**

"What?" I blink, hand frozen midair, as I realize that Finn has asked me something. Perhaps he has asked several things. Perhaps he has spoken for a while. I can't know for my thoughts had been elsewhere. They had been galaxies away.

"Rey".

It's a scolding tone. A knowing tone which fills me with guilt and anguish. My thoughts should be on our survival, mine and my friends.

" _You mean the murderers. traitors. and thieves you call friends..."_

I shake my head. Trying to clear all the memories of him and refocus. He doesn't deserve any space in my head. He deserves nothing.

 _"...you're nothing... but not to me."_

" Get out of my head," I yell and the wrench next to me shoots into the wall.

Finn flinches and stares at the wrench which magically had shot off. "Rey, what's wrong?"

I stand, shaking my head in denial to it all. "Nothing. It's nothing."

"Rey."

"I'm sorry. I can't, Finn. I can't."

Before Finn can ask anything further, demand an explanation, I leave. I can't answer any questions. I can't give any explanations. Not about my connection to the Force. Not about my absence mindlessness. Not about him... especially not about him.

I walk with haste out of the Millennium Falcon and onto the docking platform. The ship took on a lot of hits and there is still much left to do, but I can't stay in one spot any longer. My head is racing and the only way to get it to slow down is if my feet move faster. I want to run but here there is nowhere to run. We are in hiding, the few of us that are left. We are very possibly the last of the resistance. The First Order has nearly wiped us all out. He has nearly wiped us all out.

"He is a monster, Rey. A monster." I mumble as I rush onward to nowhere, down the corridors of our inground hiding camp. "Remember that. Don't be a fool to think anything else."

Tears begin to roll and I brush them away angrily. I had gotten my hopes up and I had begun to believe. I had been a fool. Luke had warned me. Trying to tell me that things were not going to work out the way I had hoped. But I didn't listen and now he is dead. And Kylo Ren is the new Supreme Leader. He has even more power than before and all because I...

"Rey," someone says and I halt my movement. "Do you have a moment?"

It's her and I want nothing more than flee. I know what is coming and with her I can't dodge. She will ask and I will tell. No matter what the question is and no matter how badly I don't want to answer.

"Rey, you look exhausted. Are you not getting your rest? The Falcon can wait. I always told Han this. Not that he ever listened."

She smiles and my heart aches for her. I hardly knew him and yet I think of him everyday. I think of the day that he died, how he died, and by whose saber.

"I'm sorry about Luke" I say, not because I want to, but because it has to be said. It should have been said days ago, yet I have not had the strength or nerve to do so. "It's my fault he is dead. I never should have gone to the First Order. I was a fool and now Luke is dead."

She shakes her head slowly and smiles sadly. "Rey. None of this is your fault. Luke made a decision. He himself decided that it was his time to fight and to die." She stops and I see the struggle. She exhales, her breath trembling. "Luke finally told me. Told me what he had done. And, I should hate him for it. Ben was our son and he tried to kill him. I understand why. He saw our father in Ben and he wanted to stop him before it was too late, before he joined the Dark Side. But still, it was my son. It was my Ben and Luke's action is what made us lose him to Snook. If Luke hadn't done what he did, Ben might be standing right here with us now."

With her words I look around, expecting the Force to connect us and bring him beside us. The Force connection is both unpredictable and predictable. It seems to happen when it has the greatest impact. When we feel the most lost, lonely, or at a crossroad. It's been days since the last time. Since that day when he tried to kill us all, shoot me out of the sky, and I closed the door on him. I closed the door on him in more ways than one... or at least I try to tell myself this.

"No one is ever really gone." She says, pulling me back to the here. I frown. "Luke told me this, right before he went out to fight Ben. He still had hope for him. So how can I not have hope?"

I can't answer her for I don't know if I believe this. She was not there when Snook fell by Ben's will, when we fought and defeated the Praetorian guards together, and when he asked me to let all things die so we could rule together. All things... even her... his own mother.

"Rey, there is still hope. No matter what you saw. No matter what he said. What matter what he has done. There is still hope... because of you."

My eyes which had been on the floor below rise to meet hers. As they do, she steps forward and then I am in her arms. Her arms wrap tightly around me and soon my tears begin to soak her shoulder. People around us stare but she cares not and neither do I.

"You're wrong. I failed you, General. I thought I would be able to reach him, bring him home to you, but I was wrong. I'm so sorry."

"Rey," she hush and her hand runs across my head with the true touch of a mother. It makes me want to sink deeper into her embrace, lose myself in her motherly love which I have always longed for. "In the short time that you have been apart of his life, you have done more than all of us combined during his lifetime. You have touched him, Rey, in a way that none of us could have. And not just because of your connection with the Force. Luke and he shared that. This is something else, something deeper." I shake my head and try to pull away but she grabs me tighter. "Rey, listen. Please," she pleads and I still. "Care not what others think. Care not of the past. Care only of what you feel and what dwells deep inside of you. It is as true as the Force. Let it guide you."

 _"Why is the Force connecting us... you and I?"_

His words echo in my mind. I have myself wondered that very thing many times. Why had the Force connected us?

She pushes me away to arms length, our eyes meeting. "Ask yourself, Rey, what has been on your mind the most for these last few days? Or should I say who?"

She walks away before I can answer. She leaves me standing there in the center of the corridor, alone with my denying thoughts full of excuses as to why he is the one who constantly occupies my mind. I tell myself that it is because of Han, because of Finn, because of the Rebels, because of the First Order...

 _"Don't be afraid. I feel it too."_

But that's just it. I am afraid. Afraid of what I am feeling.


	2. Chapter 2

**2\. KYLO REN**

I am still asleep when I first sense it. It's dreamlike so I ignore it and resist the urge to wake up. The feeling of her presence is soothing and I never want to lose the connection. It's been too long, only days really, but it feels like forever since the Force last linked us. I had begun to think that it was over. That the Force would never again connect us.

There is a soft movement in the space next to me, followed by a content sigh, and the cool touch of fingertips against my naked skin. Sleep which but a moment ago had me firm in its grip loses me completely. As I carefully roll to my opposite side, I open my eyes and find her laying next to me. The Force has brought her to my bed. All things freeze as I watch her, trying to believe what I am seeing, praying that I am not still asleep.

I want to say her name, touch her, and wake her up, but I fear the result. Will her knowledge end the connection, make her reach for a gun and shoot me, or will she once again call me a Monster? All three alternatives are unpleasant and if that is what I am to expect than I'd rather just watch her. Who knows when I will be able to again. Probably never since we are now enemies once more. I had reach out my hand to her, offered her the entire Galaxy, and she had denied me. I had offered to teach her the ways of the Force and a place to call home. If she had accepted, she never would have to be alone again.

She stirs. A frown appears on her face as her dream takes her to a disturbing place. Is she dreaming about me? If so, which memory is causing her distress? When I used my Force on her when we first met? When I killed my father whom she in such a short time created such a bond with ? When I launched her into a tree and injured her precious friend the traitor? When I told her the truth about her parents and told her that she was nothing? Of course, I didn't mean it that way. To me she is beyond nothing. She is the only one whom I have ever imagined sharing everything with. I am in awe of her: her connection with the Force, her spirit, her fighting skill, her beauty. She is the same as me. The same raw untamed power flows through her as it does me. There is no one else worthy.

"Please," I whisper, not wanting to be quiet any longer. "Join me. Please."

I watch for a reaction. Half hoping to see those lovely eyes stare into mine and half dreading that they will do just that. Those eyes can see right into me, discover my greatest fears. My weakness is her strength over me. I have compassion for her and therefore she will always beat me in any fight. It is a problem. A lovely problem, but still a problem. Especially since she refuses to join me. Those damn friends of hers is the reason.

Fury rises within me with the thought of those murders, traitors, and thieves. They don't deserve her. They don't know her the way I do. They will never share what we share.

"Rey. Where are you?" I ask, louder than a whisper. Much louder.

Her eyes open and sees me. My heart begins to pound, my breathing stalls, and I wait. All around us the Force wipes away everything. There is no bed, no walls, no ceiling. It is only Her and I. Locked in a frozen moment. I wait for her to say something, do something, but she merely watches me.

Then the connection begins to let go, seeping out like fog across a field, and I can feel her slipping away. "Where are you?"

"Ben," she says and then she is gone.

 **2\. REY**

"Ben."

I say his name the moment he fades away. The Force cuts us off just as it connects us, abruptly and without warning. I had been asleep, completely unaware. How long had he been watching me?

 _'Where are you?'_

He kept asking me this but I could never tell him. If he was to know and he would come, he would bring the First Order and they would wipe us out. I can't trust him. I never should have. No matter what his mother hopes, he is never coming back to the light. He proved that after we had defeated the guards. I had told him that it wasn't too late, that I would help him and I did, and yet he wouldn't let go of the Dark side. He had reached out his hand and I would have taken it, if it didn't mean that everyone else must die.

 _'Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.'_

His reasoning for killing his own father and his advise to me. Saying that the desperate grip on my past is my greatest weakness. I agree. So many years, wasted looked up at the sky, hoping that they would return. So many nights, sleep unwilling to come, spent thinking of who, why, when, and if. At night, I would see an ocean and an island, and imagining that this is where I was from and that one day my parents would bring me back there. Desperately hoping that one day they would bring me home and we would be a family once again.

 _'The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead.'_

What had she meant? What had she implied? Was she speaking of the Rebellions? Or, of the Force and the Jedi order? Or, was she speaking of Ben? What did she know? What has she seen? I have to know.

I gather my few belongings and exit the chamber. Guilt rushes through me as I prepare my departure. I am leaving them to fight on their own. Abandoning them when they need me. Yet, no victory has ever come from hiding. I need answers and I can't find them there. To find out where I belong and my place in all of this, I will go where and to whomever I need to ... even back to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**3\. REY**

It's barely 4 in the morning and everyone should be asleep. This early in the morning, the hanger should be empty and I should be able to sneak out undetected. But this the Rebellion and someone is always on alert, ready for an attack or prepared for an escape. So I keep my head down as I make my way to the Falcon. I am going to steal her. Well, borrow I suppose because I plan to give her back... at some point... and to someone. I am not sure who she belongs to. With Han Solo gone is she now the General's, or Chewie's, or does she belong to Ben? Not that Ben would ever take her. He hates the Falcon and has tried to blast her out of the sky. It's personal with him. To him the Falcon is more than just a ship. She stands for... I'm not sure what but nothing good.

I enter the Falcon and throw my bag down. This will be my home until I have found what I am seeking. I'm on my own again. Alone again as I was on Jakku when...

A sound and movement behind me halts my thoughts and I grab my trusted staff. I pivot, ready to strike if necessary and use the Force if I must. A familiar sound and hairy features greet me and I lower my weapon.

"Chewie, what are you doing here? Do you sleep here?" He answers and I sigh. Seems like I won't be traveling alone after all. "I'm taking the Falcon." A loud protest. "I must. Please. I have to see Maz. Will you come with me?" A reply of acceptance and I nod as I head towards the cockpit.

I sit down in the same seat as Han did when he was Captain and Chewie sinks heavily into the seat beside me as co-pilot. We are team now, him and I. An unlikely team, joined by chance, fate, and tragedy, yet a team none the less. From below, I get the signal of all-clear and we blast out of the hanger. Chewie sounds off a loud good bye and the sting of guilt burns once more. I didn't say good bye, not even to Finn. He is going to give me hell when I get back.

"If I ever get back," I mumble to myself and Chewie gives me glance.

I give back a half smile, weak and unconvincing, but luckily Chewie doesn't care too much. He must be happy to get out of there. Since Han died, Chewie has seemed lost and out of place. Han was his partner, his friends, his family, and with Han gone Chewie might feel like he has no one. This is not true. He has me.

Planet Takodana is a lush planet located in the Mid Rim of the Galaxy. My very thought when I first saw Takodana was that I didn't know there was this much green in the whole Galaxy. It is completely different than Jakku. Jakku is dry, lifeless, and colorless. The whole planet is made up of rocks and coarse sand that gets everywhere. Instead, Takodana is all lakes and soft grass, with its air scented of greenery and flowers. It's a place I would gladly call home. Or at least it was this way before the First Order arrived. In truth, I don't know what the planet looks like now. Ben found me in the woods and used the Force on me. Without the knowledge of what I was and what I was capable of, I let him completely control me. I collapsed and I didn't come to until on his ship and as his captive... or guest, as he called it. Because of this, I don't know the state of the planet, the castle, or Maz.

We break through the atmosphere and the planet below welcomes us with a green glow. I scan for destruction as we fly over the lakes and trees. All looks as beautiful as I remember it. My heart and mind lightens at the sight, but then I see the castle up ahead. Mirroring my sentiment, Chewie warbles his distress over the once beautiful ancient castle which has been completely destroyed by the First Order attack. I circle the area, scanning for threats, and then set the Falcon down in the same place as Han did but a few weeks ago.

"We have to find Maz."

I exit the Falcon, step into the green grass, and there she is. "Good. You brought the Wookiee," she greets, peering over my shoulder at Chewie. "I like that Wookiee." She grins and winks as she removes her glasses. She walks up to me and puts her warm hands into mine. "What took you so long, my child?"

 **3\. BEN**

 _'Ben,'_ she had whispered and then she was gone.

I, Kylo Ren, Heir to Darth Vader, and with all the power of the Force at my will, had not been able to hold on to the connection. It slipped and so did she. One moment here, close enough to touch, and the next Galaxies away. I should have reached out and touched her. I might have been able to see where she was. Last time we touched, our fingers barely brushing, I saw her past. Perhaps, this time I would have seen her present. Perhaps, I would have even been able to see her future. But then she would have seen into me as well.

 _'I sense the conflict in you. It's tearing you apart.'_

Am I still conflicted? Do I still feel the pull to the light or is the pull I feel only about her? Perhaps it was always her. Even before we met, it was her presence that I felt pulling me from the Dark Side and from the influence of the Supreme Leader.

 _'There's been an awakening. Have you felt it?'_

I swing my long legs over the edge of the bed and press my fingers into my temples. The pain feels good. It relieves the other pain. It shuts off thoughts, questions, and the frustration that is slowly driving me mad. I have never been denied like she denies me. I have never failed in matters of the Force like I do when she is around. I have never wanted like I do since I met her. Before her, I always got what I wanted, either by being the son of a Princess and General, or by using the Force. Raw and untamed is my power, as is hers. Only difference is that she is untrained. She needs a teacher.

 _'You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force.'_

I had offered and she denied me. Took the light saber belonging to my grandfather and struck me down with it, scarring me permanently. I shouldn't have offered her to be her teacher. I should have killed her. After everything that she has done, she should be dead. I could declare her my past and I always let the past die. To be a great Supreme Leader, to rightfully rule the First Order, and to become who I am meant to be, I should kill her... I should. But will I be able to?

I press harder, digging my fingers into my skull, desperately trying to clear my head of weak thoughts and wants. Conflict is weakness. I must find resolve in what I want and take it. That is what my grandfather did and that is what a Supreme Leader does. No more asking. No more begging. It's time to take.

I rise as the resolve has set in. I will go where she once was. Go to where her presence still lingers. I have seen it in her mind and now I will get to see it for myself. Her once home. The place where she felt the most lonely. The place she hated yet was so afraid to leave. The place which created dreams of oceans and islands. Once there the Force will guide. I must trust in the Force.

"I know what I have to do."


	4. Chapter 4

**4\. REY**

We follow Maz into the trees and down a well traveled path. Hammering and other construction noises echoe against the trunks and rocks as we make our way deeper. The closer we get to the center of the racket, the more Takodians we see. They come in all sizes, forms, and colors, just like on most planets. Some are like Maz, Pirates, but most are refugees who are running and hiding from the brutality of the First Order. Yet I need to remember that at least one of these refugees is only pretending and is in fact loyal to the First Order. How else would the First Order have found us? Someone reported back to them of our presence and there is a possibilty now that they will do it again. If so, will he come?

"Our new home," Maz says once we have reach a cluster of newly built establishments nestled and sheltered in the woods. She sweeps her hand theatrically. "It's no castle, but we're alive. When you see them again, do tell them Rebel friends of yours thank you. They saved us that day."

"I will," I agree and Chewie does as well in his own special way. "But, we shouldn't have come here. All this destruction is our fault. He only came because of us. And, now we are here again. Once again, possibly risking your life. Possibly he will come again."

"He?" Maz repeats and Chewie looks at me meaningly. "You speak of Kylo Ren. Last time I saw you, he was carrying you in his arms into his shuttle." Maz pauses, either in wait for me to comment or for effect. "Do you know now? What you are and what you can do? You survived and escaped The First Order. Only someone very strong with the Force could manage this."

I reach for the cup of steaming lake root tea that Maz has placed before me and inhale the potent earthy scent. The hot aroma fills my nostrils as I breath deeply in through my nose and the heat spreads throughout. Carefully, I sip the dark liquid and the taste pleases me as much as everything else on this planet. I'm deliberately biding my time to answer. I haven't really spoken of my connection with the Force with anyone except for the General, Skywalker, and Ben. I'm not sure what I want to share. Not all would understand and they would either ridicule or fear. Although, this is Maz and I feel as she would do neither and that she may understand the Force better than I do.

 _'You need a teacher.'_

Ben's voice rings out in my head and I slam the cup back onto the table harder than I intended. "Maz, I feel so lost. Why was I given this power? What is my place in all of this? What if I misuse the Force and join the Dark Side like..?"

"Like Ben Solo?" Maz finishes and I nod. She smiles, not a happy smile but a smile. "The Force is all around us as well as inside of us all. The only difference is, not all can control and wield it. You have been chosen, Rey, because of who you are. All things require balance and the balance has been shifted ever since Ben Solo became Kylo Ren. You can bring balance back to the Force, Rey."

I shake my head, disagreeing with what she is saying. "I tried, Maz. I tried and failed."

"Did you? Are you sure?" Without waiting for a reply, she rises and collects our empty cups. Even Chewie has finished his, even though it was clear that it was not to his liking. "Take the rest of the day to explore, Rey. The Force is strong on this planet. It's why I settled here. I knew that one day someone would come. I'm glad it was you."

Maz leaves and I look at Chewie who shrugs uninvolved. He spies a bed pushed up against the far wall and claims it as his own. I'm on my own to venture as I please. A piercing glare draws my eyes to the open door and it's sunshine on the other side. My feet begin to move and I am soon outside in the rays. The hot bright sun feels good and so does the air blowing brisk all around me. The wind carries with it scents of every plant and every living creature on Takodana. The Force is strong here. I can feel it tugging at me, wanting me to follow its pull. So I do.

I should have known where the Force would lead me. After all, as unpredictable as it can be, it is also very predictable.

Slowly I walk down the slithering path inside the rock formation and recall the last time I was here. When I was stumbling backwards down the path, panicking with my heart in my throat, and my gun blasting at a masked creature. My firing had done nothing. He reflected with ease each blast like I was flicking beads at him. And, then he had grabbed ahold of me with the Force and I had been unable to move. I had felt fear then. Fear of what he would do. Fear of him. I had not known what was hidden under that mask. I had thought it was something hideous and deformed; a disgusting evil creature. Why else the mask?

My eyes sweep the surroundings, expecting him to emerge. It would make perfect sense for the Force to connect us here and now. Is this not why it led me here? To the place where we first met and where he and I began. There is no point trying to deny it. There is a he and I. It has been there ever since I touched Luke's saber. I was not only awakened to the Force, but also to him.

I sink down to the rocky floor and let my fingertips connect with its cold hard surface. Luke taught me this, on the island, when he had finally agreed to teach me about the Force. It didn't go as he had expected and our lessons never continued. For I didn't just connect with the rock below, but with the entire island and all its entities. Raw and untamed power flowed from my fingertips into the stone façade and spread like fire across the island, cracking and shattering. Luke had seen this kind of power before and it scared him cause he knew what it could lead to. Luke didn't realize that I am strong with the Force because of him. As he grows stronger, so do I, for I am the light and he is the Darkness. I will always rise to meet him.

"Ben," I say and the syllable of his name shoots like lightening through me and into the ground below.

It ripples across the planet, impacting every living and non-living thing on Takodana. It shakes the earth and trembles the air, making the clouds dissipate and the sun flicker. Quickly I withdrawn my hand but it is too late. The ripple effect continues, spreading wider and further into the Galaxy, impacting everything and everyone in its path.

 **4\. KYLO REN**

"Lord Ren, your ship is ready."

I nod, my face once again covered by a mask, as I walk past the Captain across the hanger to my shuttle. As I approach, I examine its massive black wings extending up towards the ceiling and its gaping mouth. From a distance, its features resemble those of a predatory bird; beautiful, powerful, and deadly.

Behind me, desperate to keep up with my long strides, march a platoon of Storm troopers. They follow me like robots and flow out like the train of a white wedding dress. I am the new Supreme Leader and where I go, they go. But not today.

"I travel alone." A protest and I hold up my gloved hand in warning to the Captain. "Alone," I repeat and he complies out of fear of my wrath.

One foot on the ramp, ready to embark and depart, but then I sense it. Something is approaching from across the Galaxy. A wave of energy rippling and spreading towards me. It is seeking me out, hunting me as if I am the prey. But if I am the prey, who is the hunter? I learn the truth as the wave hits me, entering me from all sides and locking me into place. I can't move.

 _'Ben.'_

The wave convulse as it fades into nothing and I collapse to the floor of the hanger. Despite being released, I remain there on my knees at the deck. The sensation of the hold and the energy still tingles at my every part. I want to remove the mask so that I can more easily regain my breath but I know that my features will shame me. I am shaken. I have been brought to my knees. This was a clear display of strength and an invitation to a challenge.

I rise and test my legs. They hold me and I finish my walk up the ramp of my shuttle.

"Lord Ren, what was that?"

"Not what. Who," I reply and step through the mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

**5\. REY**

I wake up to the smell of breakfast cooking and the sound of Maz trying to keep Chewie from eating all the smoked wild pig. So different a scene than compared to my life on Jakku. On Jakku every morning was the repeat of the last. I would wake up, get dressed in the same clothes as the day before, drink a cup of tea made with a used bag collected from the local diner, and then head out on an empty stomach to scavage the wreckages in the barren outskirts till the end of the day. Still, I kept my hope. I had been so sure that one day they would come back for me.

"Rey, unless you want to go hungry you'd best join us before this Wookie eats it all."

Grinning and happy, I leap out of bed. Maz has laid out a new attire for me. A pants suit in forest green with leather straps and wooden buttons. I follow the embroidery of an intricate pattern which shines as if gold thread has been used to stitch it . Knowing Maz it probably is gold. She is known as the Pirate queen on the account of her connection with smugglers and the stories of her are as rich as she is presumed to be. I got a tiny glimpse of those collected treasures when I ventured below the castle. I had followed the cries of my younger self and it led me to Luke's light saber. That day I had been preoccupied but today I find myself curious of what other treasures might be kept in the underground castle keep. Not that I would ask. What would be rude.

"Finally," Maz exclaims as I walk into the kitchen. Chewie ignores me and keeps his complete attention on the buffet laid out. "Come. Come. Sit. Eat."

"Maz, this is too much. You shouldn't have." Chewie looks up, food spilling out from his mouth, and lets me know his opposing opinion. Silenced, I sit down and begin to fill a plate generously. "Yet, very appreciated. Thank you, Maz."

Maz accepts my appreciation with a smile and sets a cup down next to me with the same dark beverage as yesterday. We eat and drink in silence as a family. Content fills me to the brim as does the food. This is what it is supposed to be like. What it is supposed to feel like. I could never go back to being alone after have experienced moments like these.

 _'You're not alone.'_

A tear falls onto my hand and I put down my fork startled. Apprehensive, I touch my tear soaked cheeks and wipe away the tears from my eyes. Maz places her hand over my left and I look into her concerned glass-covered eyes. I never used to cry. My bone grinding life in Jakku left no time or energy for tears. There was no point for there was no one there to see them and nothing that tears would change. Lately, however, I have cried quite often. The first time was when I touched the saber and Maz found me. She told me that my family was never coming back and to let go. She was right. So much time wasted on waiting and hoping. So many days and night spent alone when I could have found a new family to belong to. A family who understands me and that I can share everything with.

Although the truth is, there is only one who I can truly share everything with. There is only one who can truly understand what it is like to be me. There is only one who is like me.

"Rey, I want to show you something. Will you come with me?"

It is to the castle that she brings me. This once proud and beautiful fortification is now a rubble of rocks. Maz statue which graced the opening and welcomed all who visited her watering hole, lays scattered in pieces. For a thousand year it stood, only to be destroyed in minutes by the First Order.

"Here," Maz shouts and waves for me to come. I join her at the far end of castle towards the forest edge and she points frantically. "Underneath here, underneath all these rocks, is the entrance to the cellar below. You were there. You have seen it. There are dozens of chambers filled with artifacts from all corners of the Galaxy. I want to show you one of these artifacts but to do so these rocks will have to be moved. Can you do it, Rey?"

I know what she is asking. Month ago, I had no idea of my connection to the Force and I would have told her she was mad. Weeks ago, I had only begun to test my powers and I would have told her no. Today, I know that I am strong with the Force and I can tell her yes. Twisting my feet deeper into the gravel, I begin by grounding myself until I can feel the energy pulsating below. I release my own energy and let it travel out through my feet to mix with the energy of the rocks. This is the Force, the energy, which exist in all nonliving and living. If you believe, if you can feel it, you can manipulate it and use it to do your bidding.

Maz looks on as the rocks rise into the air and move in a steady movement away only to be dropped into a pile some hundred feet away. "Very good," she praises and claps her hands together. She spies down the steep stair case leading to her cellar and waves again. "Come."

On alert, I follow behind Maz ready to steady her with the Force if she loses her balance. But, I worry in vain. She finds her steps easily and at the bottom she lights two torches, one for each of us. We make our way through the labyrinth of passage ways until Maz stops before one thick wooden door.

"Rey, where is the light saber? Did you hand it over to Luke Skywalker?" I shake my head. "To Kylo Ren?"

"Not exactly," I reply. "There was a struggle and it was destroyed."

"I see," Maz answers but I am not sure if she really understands. How could she when she wasn't there. "A Jedi's light saber is their greatest weapon, the manifest of their connection to the Force, their life, and without one they are not truly a Jedi. Yes?"

"Yes."

Pulling a large metal key from her pants pocket she unlocks the door and it swings open without a push. I step inside, expecting to see treasures and chests stacked on every wall, but there is nothing except for one partially covered glass case. Maz walks around me up to the case and places a hand on each side of it. She sighs deeply and lowers her head as if saying a prayer. When she finally speaks her voice carries as if in a cathedral.

"She was the most lovely girl I had ever met. Much more than beautiful. She was kind, intelligent, brave, and full of life. All those who met her fell in love with her. Great things waited ahead of her, they all agreed. How could it not?" Maz quiets and a tremble travels up my spin giving me a sudden chill. Not trusting my legs to support me, I lean against the closest wall and wait for her to continue. "They never should have met. Born on completely different planets and with such opposite backgrounds, they never should have met. She was a Queen and he was a slave. But the Force brought them together and the power of the Force wins against all reason."

I know now whose story she speaks of and with the knowledge my heart's pace picks up. "Maz, please continue."

"Five years in age difference mattered little when they met again a decade later. He was now a Jedi apprentice to Master Obi One Kenobi and she was a Senator. Master Kenobi should have seen and should have stopped it before it was too late, but again the Force moves us as it wants. All things happen for a reason, good and bad. You know that better than most, Rey."

I agree but I refuse to answer out of fear that the story may cease.

"It was forbidden love, her being a Senator and him training to be a Jedi. They tried to fight it but it was useless. Their love for each other was stronger than anything else. Or at least so they thought." Maz pulls off the red handkerchief , revealing a light saber inside the glass display. Thoughtfully, she weighs the saber in her hands. "Fear entered his mind and slowly began to poison it. He feared losing her and that fear was manipulated by the Dark Side. Thinking that he could save her, he crossed over from the Jedi order and became a Sith Lord."

Maz turns to me and holds out the saber. Unsure, I push away from the wall and take the saber from her hands. I ignite it and it burns red.

"It's the color of Kylo Ren's," I note and the red energy glows in Maz' big thick glasses. Gracefully, I move the saber in a circular fashion and I marvel as its grace. "This was Anakin Skywalker's saber, as well?"

Maz watches me handle the saber like a mother watches her child somersault. "It was to be, but she died before she could give it to him. Don't ask how I came to have it for I won't answer. I am giving it to you, Rey. Help it finds its way to its rightful owner."

I stop, cutting the saber's energy off, letting my arm fall heavy to my side. "Give it Kylo Ren?" I ask and Maz shakes her head. "Give it to Ben?" I try and she nods. I sigh. "There is no Ben Solo, Maz. There is only Kylo Ren. I thought I could reach him but I was wrong. Just like with Anakin, Ben is gone. The power of the Dark side matters more than anything."

"Is that how you think the story ended? That Lord Vader spent the rest of his life never looking back, never regretting, never wishing that he could return all the power he possessed to have her back? Rey, Darth Vader gave his life for his son because of his love for his wife Padme. Darth Vader died as Anakin Skywalker, as a Jedi, and in the light."

Maz removes her glasses and closes the gap between us. I drop to my knees so our eyes can meet.

"Rey, always remember that where there is love, there is hope."


	6. Chapter 6

**6\. REY**

Maz walks back to the settlement, to check on her boyfriend she says, but I stay behind. I feel I owe her; for the hositality, for the advise, and for the saber. This was her home for a thousand years and now it is rubble thanks to me. Well, BB-8 fault really or maybe Han's since it was his idea to come here. No matter who is to blame, her home is ruined and whatever I can do, I wish to do it.

I start by moving all the larger useable rocks to one side and all the gravel is lifted and dropped into the lake creating a pier. Once the space outside the castle is cleared, I begin to remove all the demolition debris inside the castle. It is still a ruin, but with it empty of rubble, Maz might be able to find use for it. If nothing else, she can now at least access her basement and all her treasures. Lastly, I collect all the pieces of her statue and fuse them together. It is not perfect but it is almost at its former glory. Han told me that the statue was a gift from her husband and that it was the only thing that she didn't regret from the marriage.

Sweaty and tired, I glance down at my clothes which are now covered in sand and dust. I need a bath. I gaze dreamingly at the refreshing lake but the lake is too open and public. I want to strip my clothes and give them a good scrub before I show myself to Maz. I can't have her see what I did to her beautiful clothing.

I grab the saber and head off into the woods. In passing, Maz had mentioned a waterfall not too far from the castle site. She had said that the water is always warm despite the constant flow and the spray from the fall keeps the flowers in forever bloom. To her, the place is magical for many reasons. Its natural beauty and it's where her husband asked her to marry him. It is also where they first kissed.

"Maz kissing," I mumble to myself and snicker. "I'd like to see her kiss Chewie." I laugh out loud, the sound echoing against the tall trees as I imagine Chewie trying to fight off a kiss-starved Maz. "Maybe this is what they are doing right now." My laughter seize as I reach my destination and my eyes register what I see before me. "Wow."

I have no other words. Living all your life in a place made up of sand and rocks, and where you rejoice over the tiniest bit of rain. To see a place like this is beyond overwhelming. It's like a mirage. The different shades of green plants and colorful water flowers crowding around a pool of crystal clear water, and at the center a waterfall. I dip my hand in the water and it is indeed warm. Not so warm that it is not refreshing. Just warm enough that you want to get in and stay in. I undress in haste, leaving only my undergarments on, and hurry to wash my clothes. After tossing them over a sturdy branch to dry in the sun, I finally wade in. I place myself under the waterfall and let the water crash into me. Relaxing fully, I allow my mind to drift to where it wants to go.

Despite the deafening sound of the water, I hear the voice of Maz whisper. _'Born on completely different planets and with such opposite backgrounds, they never should have met.'_

This was the story of Anakin and Padme, but it could also be Han's and Leia's. Or, mine and Ben's. We were born and raised on different planets with no knowledge of one another's existence. Ben was born a Prince and a Senator's son, and I an abandoned scavenger with barely enough food to survive. The Force has brought us together, time and time again, connecting us both physically and psychologically. One of us standing in the light and one of us in the Darkness. Is our story destined to end in tragedy as well?

I step out of the path of the fallen waters and make my way up to land. The clothes are still soaked so I sit down on a rock and the let sun dry me too. I hated the sun on Jakku. There it was a constant. Every day was dry, sunny, and hot. The sun beat down on you and scorched your skin. Not like here on Takodana. Everything here is enjoyable and beautiful, even the feel of the sun. Here it is a caress. A sensation of...

I tense, every part of my body reacting to a familiar feeling of building presence. "Not now. Please," I beg, standing woundable in only my wet undergarments. "Not now. Any time but now. Please."

I desperately look over at the drying clothes, debating a dash, but it's too late. In the glare of the sunlight, his dark form slowly materializes before me and I am trapped.

"Curse you, Force," I whisper and prepare for utter humiliation.

 **6\. KYLO REN**

I reach Jakku in the early afternoon. To prevent detection, I stay clear of the inhabited territories and land with perfect precision in the desolate desert region. My black command shuttle is well known amongst First Order allies and Rebel traitors. It would be easily recognized which means that my presence on Jakku would be known. I am the new Supreme Leader. Those who support me would want to prove their allegiance by extending their welcome and those who do not support me would want to kill me. Both alternatives would not only be extremely inconvenient but also most annoying. I am here for one thing. She has sent me a challenge. If we are to be enemies, I have to prepare myself. My weakness for her has to die. Here on Jakku, I might actually find something that can help me defeat her. This is where her parents abandoned her. Still needing and looking for them is her weakness. Perhaps I can exploit this.

Wanting a better look at Jakku, I open up the shuttle and step down the landing ramp. The hot wind slams into me from all sides and I reach for my mask to protect myself from the brutal sand. I scan the landscape and all I see is more sand. This whole planet is one big sand pit. Nothing grows here for it never rains. The only means of survival is either as a smuggler, space pirate, or scavenger.

 _'The scavenger resisted you.'_

Anger rises as I recall the moment of failure and ridicule. How many times has she made me look a fool and weak? No more. I am Kylo Ren. Supreme Leader. Grandson of Darth Vader. I will kill her and make my grandfather proud. I will be as strong as he was. Once I get rid of my weakness and compassion, I will finish what he started. I will...

Suddenly, through the howling sandstorm wind I hear the sound of splashing rushing water. I hear the sound of birds and inhale the sweet scent of flowers, and there is something else... her.

"Curse you, Force."

She is cursing the Force for connecting us. Anger escalate. If that's how she wants it.

"I received your challenge and I accept. War it shall be between us if that's what you..." I turn to face her and the last word freeze on my lips as I see her. "...want," I finally manage as I take off my mask and let it drop to my feet.

She stands before me, dressed only in her underwear. Her skin glistering from moisture and the glow of the sun. Wetness from her loose hair drips down her body, caressing each curve as it makes it way down. My dark eyes grow darker as I watch her chest move with each deep breath, stretching the thin fabric and offering a glimpse of what's underneath.

"What... what challenge," she stutters and her cheeks flush under my intense gaze.

Never taking my eyes off her, holding her captive and focusing solely on her, I slowly move closer. She looks like a scared doe ready for flight and I feel like a famished leopard ready to pounce. My body reacts more violently with each step closer to her. The Force vibrates between us, affecting the sand in my world and the water in hers. I have to touch her.

I remove my glove from my right hand and inch even closer. "Don't," she whispers, barely audible. "Please."

Tears fill her beautiful hazel brown eyes and I stop to read her. Not like I would read anyone else. Not using the Force. I don't try to enter and trespass her mind. Instead, I read her as a man would a woman. I read her transfixed eyes, her trembling lips, her struggled breathing, her fast heartbeat, and then I move even closer. She might be saying no but her body is telling me something else.

She lowers her gaze to her bare feet as I reach her and a small victorious smile curves my lips. Strong and fearless, yet so soft and fragile. I lift my hand to touch her cheek, the back on my long fingers following the contours of her face. Gently I place my hand under her chin and tip her face up so that our eyes can yet again meet.

"Why...why couldn't this be simple... you and I?"

I never get an answer and I never get to say anything else. The Force connections ends as suddenly as it began. I am left standing with my hand grasping the empty air and staring into the darkness of my shuttle. She was never really here, and yet her presence still lingers. I never actually touched her, and yet my fingers burn with the feel of her skin. We were never together, and yet nothing has ever felt more real.

I am back on Jakku. There is no waterfall, no birds, no flowers, and no Rey. She's on Takodana. I am sure of it. No place is as green and lush, and I recognized the style of clothing hanging across a branch. I could go there, seek her out, and possibly convince her to come with me. I read her. She does have feelings for me. Confused and contained but still there. And what happened wasn't a challenge. I saw it when I touched her. She was testing her powers and she must have thought of me. Her mind said my name and the Force carried the energy across Galaxies until it found me. This is how strong she is with the Force. Same raw untamed power surges inside of her as it does me, but she needs a teacher.

She will come to me. As I saw her surroundings, she saw mine. She knows where I am. She will come; out of curiosity, by the pull of the Force, or by her own desire. It matters not why just as long as she comes.


	7. Chapter 7

**7\. REY**

 _'Why...why couldn't this be simple... you and I?'_

His last words echo in my mind. The pain in his voice as he said it. It reminded me of the pain I saw in the throne room when he asked me to join him. When he begged me.

 _'Please.'_

I had debated it then. For a moment, I had imagined myself taking his extended hand, joining him, and ruling the Galaxy by his side. The high from the fight, defeating the Praetorian guards together, and seeing Snoke get cut down by a flick of his wrist, made me want it. No one will ever understand me like he does. No one will ever be his equal like I will. Neither of us would ever be alone again. We would live out this life together, bending the Force at our will. We would be unstoppable, him and I.

I close my eyes and the memory of his fingers running down my cheek manifest. His dark eyes taking me in, every inch of me. I could fall in love with him. It would be easy. Every time we meet, in real or by the Force, there is friction. There's a presence to him that no other man possess. I feel it when he leans in, when he towers over me, but especially when he touches me. He tempts me and with each encounter I get closer to a surrender. He has offered to be my teacher, teaching me how to get stronger with the Force, and I want it. He has shown me his body, what he keeps hidden under that dark cloak, and I want it. He has asked me to be with him, the man behind the mask that no one else knows, and I want it.

But Ben is right... it isn't simple... him and I. Every time we meet there is also death and pain. Being with him means deserting everyone else, even myself. I would no longer be just Rey. I would be the of the Dark side of the Force, of the First Order, and of the Supreme Leader. It's too steep of a price. Despite of what I feel and want.

"Unless..." I say out loud; to myself, to the spirits of Takodana, and to the Force.

I hurry to get dressed, grab the saber, and walk towards the sounds of construction. A quick glance back at Paradise is all that I afford before I take off into a sprint. Time all of sudden seem acute. The Force, for some reason, decided to show me his surroundings. He is on Jakku. Why I don't know. I assume for me. To trace my past, to still his curiosity, or thinking that it will give him a upper hand. This is my opportunity. He is away from the First Order and he has abandoned his duty as Supreme Leader. Perhaps I am reading too much into it. It could mean nothing. Or it could mean everything.

After hearing out my plan, Chewie sounds off his disapproval and Maz leaves the room without a room. "Chewie, last time I went to him, he killed Snoke. What will happen this time? He has the power of the Force and the control as Supreme Leader to destroy the First Order. I have to try."

Chewie argue back and what he says is right. Kylo Ren can not be trusted. He killed his own father and he has displayed his ruthlessness countless of times. But Chewie doesn't know everything and I don't plan to tell him. The truth is, I am ashamed. I have feelings for someone who is more Monster than man. If Finn knew, Finn who was slashed and almost killed, what would he say? How could I explain? I can't even make sense of it myself.

"Rey," Maz says as she steps back into the room. In her arms is a big bundle wrapped in a cloth. "Here, take this."

"What is it?"

"Don't ask me how I came to have it. I have been saving it for that special someone. I knew she would come one day. I'm glad it was you."

"What is it, Maz?

"Wear it with confidence, Rey. Wear it with the confidence of a Queen and a Senator, and all that you desire will be yours."

 **7\. KYLO REN**

I'm not good with waiting. I'm not good with being patient. I'm not good with not getting what I want. I have always gotten what I want, either by being the General's son or by using the Force. I am not used to being resisted, challenged, or told no... not until I met her.

 _'I'm not giving you anything.'_

 _'We'll see.'_

I had been so confident in my ability. Why wouldn't I be? No one had ever been able to resist me before. I could feel the Force in her, but I never imagined how strong she was. I never imagined that she would be able to enter my mind, see my greatest fear, and make me feel this way. If I had known, would I have killed her there in the woods on Takodana? One slash with my saber and this frustrating weakness never would have been. I wouldn't be stuck here on Jakku, chewing sand, if I had just ended it before it began.

 _'Please.'_

I've never begged before. Never lowered myself to the humiliation. To beg is to show weakness, to disclose a need, and to admit a want. I thought myself above this. I believed myself better. But now all I do is need and want. Truth is, I'll keep begging if that's what it takes. For her, for her to join me and be mine, I'll fall to my knees.

I exit the shuttle and climb onto my hovercraft. It's black sleek and moves like no other. It will stand out, as will I, but I've been hiding long enough. It's time to make my presence known and for me to dig into her past.

My craft shoots off, blasting across the sand, towards the only major settlement on Jakku, the Niima Outpost. Teedos on luggabeasts halt their movement and scavenging to follow me as I race across the scorched badlands. I accelerate, testing the hovercrafts full potential, causing my black robe to whip violently around me. I am not dressed appropriate for the heat, wearing thick wool clothing. As the discomfort builds so does the irritation and fury. I have only been on this planet for half a day and I already wish to obliterate it.

I reach the outpost faster than most but slower than I had wished. Walking inside, I see a long line of scavenger scum in front of a concession stand waiting to sell their collected parts. A scavenger walks past me, mumbling about not enough to survive on, as he looks down at the food ration in his hand. His mind sends me images of the Crolute male standing in the concession stand. The scavenger calls him Blobfish and dreams of his painful death. Perhaps he will get his wish granted today.

Behind the stall bars, the Crolute male sees me and his fishlike features react with recognition. He stumbles out, causing a stir amongst the waiting scavengers. Unkar Plutt, the Junk boss, never leaves the stand. The Crolute specie is of an aquatic nature and the dry sandy conditions of Jakku does not agree with their sensitive skin.

"Lord Ren," he bows, showing his allegiance to me and the First Order. "This is an honor. Please, how can I be of assistance?"

"I am looking for someone. Someone who was left in your care many years ago. Someone who worked directly under you until she became a scavenger."

"She?" Unkar Plott questions and his dry wrinkled face wrinkles even further. He scratches his covered head and asks. "Rey?"

I nod slowly and begin to enter his mind, searching for what I want answered. It is faster to take the answers instead of asking. His deep love for money makes it harder as with all species who value the coin before all other things. But it is not impossible. Especially not for me.

Unkar Plott, feeling my drilling intrusion, cries out and grabs his head. "Stop! I will tell you all I know. She is no longer here. She stole a ship of mine and joined the Rebellion. I have a price on her head, Lord Ren, She will be captured and punished."

I retract from his mind, having seen what I needed to see. Rey was used and abused at the hands of this creature. Worked from dusk till dawn, with mere scraps to eat.

"Your ship?" I ask, my voice building with rage and the need to release my anger becomes imminent. "It was never your ship. The Millennium Falcon is mine. And as for her..." I continue and ignite my saber.

I raise the saber, ready to strike the blow, ready to cut him open and spill his fish guts when...

"BEN! DON'T!"

It's her. She's here. Finally.


	8. Chapter 8

**8\. REY**

I land on Jakku mid afternoon. It is the hottest time of the day and the heat slams into me as I step onto its fleshburning sand. I'd forgotten, or blocked, the memory of how hot and miserable life is here. I never would have returned if it wasn't for Ben. At this very moment, I could be swimming in a lagoon or standing under a waterfall on Takodana, but instead I am here. I dread revisiting this place and reliving my past, but I have no choice. He is here, waiting for me, so I must be too.

My former home looks the same as when I left it. I look inside and not much has been touched. I never really had anything of value to steal. Not to mention that few would be able to get past my traps I've set up. Even outside, I find my old hovercraft, my trusted speeder, waiting faithfully. After just a few adjustments and fill ups, I get it running and now I have no more excuses to stall.

Shading my eyes with my hand, I spy across the sand towards the Niima outpost and any signs of life. I didn't leave on the best terms. Actually, I left on horrible terms. I'm surprised that my home hasn't been blown to pieces. I stole from the Junk Boss himself, a severe crime on this planet. Doesn't matter that the Millennium Falcon was not his. There is surely a capture or kill reward on me, and there are plenty on this planet who would gladly collect. I squint and try to find Ben's ship in the dips of sand. It is easy to recognize. It is one of a kind... like him.

I get on the speeder, armed with both staff and saber, and take off across the sand dunes towards the outpost. My heart is pounding with nervous anticipation. I'd lie if I said it wasn't part because of Unkar Plott. I have wronged him and he will want to punish me for my crime against him. He can try. I am returning a changed Rey. I am no longer Rey the Scavenger. I am a Jedi... kind of... and I know the Force... sort of. Ben was right, I do need a teacher. Skywalker is gone so there is only one left. He offered once. He might offer again and this time maybe I'll actually agree.

On my route down to the Outpost, I pass several scavengers headed down to the Junk Boss' stall to trade the parts they spent all day scavenging. All day working, spent in the blazing heat, just for a half or a quarter portion. Their tired faces and broken bodies tell the story of their no-end-in sight life. Most will never be able to escape this place. They will die here, never having experienced anything else but work, sweat, tears, and agonizing hunger. This could have been me, if I would have continued to wait and if BB-8 hadn't found me. I thought I rescued him, but it was really the other way around.

 _'You're so lonely. So afraid to leave.'_

Ben saw right into me. it's a Force thing. And, he was right. I was afraid to leave. But now, now I'm afraid to come back.

The gathering of scavengers thicken as I approach Unkar Plott's concession stand, forcing me to slow down. My hovercraft is the fastest on the planet. I made it so and I take pride in its speed. I'm good with making things work and work better. Always have been. Maybe it's a Force thing. Maybe it's a Rey thing. Nonetheless, it's painful to have to break and decelerate when you love the feel of going faster than everyone else.

I swerve around an extra slowly moving scavenger completely covered in dust and grime, and then I see it; black, shiny, and pretty. It's Ben's. He is here. He must have landed at another part of Jakku and taken his hovercraft in. But why? Why is he at the outpost? Why didn't he wait for me? Why didn't he go to my abandoned home, instead of here? Why would he...

The distinct sound of a crossguard lightsaber, coming from inside the concession stand tent, reaches me and I flung myself off the craft. Rushing in, I see Ben standing with his saber raised and ready to strike. Below the glowing energy light, the mighty Junk Boss himself cowers in terrified fear. I call out to him, begging him to stop, and the room falls to silence, even the saber. Slowly he turns to me and sees me standing with my hand reaching for him to come. I can't see his face because of his mask, but somehow I know.. I'm positive, that there is a smile on his lips. He believes himself to have won. He believes that I am becoming his...

I am in so much trouble.

 **8\. KYLO REN**

 **"BEN! DON'T!"**

My saber dies, its red pulsating cross disappearing, and the creature below trembles a sigh of relief. Slowly, I turn and there she is. She is breathing heavily, as if she has sprinted to reach me, and in her hairline tiny specks of perspiration glisten.

Her hand reaches out to me, her eyes begging me to take it. "Ben," she says and the plea in her voice brings forth a victorious grin. How the roles have reversed. "Please. Ben. Come with me. Please."

 _'Come with me,'_ I repeat in my head, enjoying the sound of each syllable.

I should toy with her , drag the whole thing out, as a punishment for the throne room. She denied me, turned down my offer, and fought me for the saber. I even begged her and she still said no, not in words, but in actions. I, Kylo Ren, begging and pleading, offering her the Galaxy and a place by my side... and she turned it all down.

But her stretched out hand, intense eyes, and worry on her pretty face... It's all too much, even for Lord Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order and Heir to Darth Vader. I surrender yet again and walk towards her. My glove covered large hand, _'curse these gloves, they've got to go,'_ accepts and enwraps hers. She begins to walk out of the tent, pulling me by the hand, but I stop her when I feel the burning sensation of eyes at my neck. Looking over my shoulder, I see unworthy scavengers and traders invading our moment of reunion.

"Go back to your trading. You never saw us. We were never here."

My dark deep voice commands and in perfect sync they all turn away from us to face towards the barred stall. Unkar Plott wobbles off to his place of corrupt business and resumes as if nothing ever disturbed him. Their eyes won't see us. Their ears won't hear us. In their mind, we are not here and we never were.

"How do you do that? How do you do it so easily? And so many at the same time?"

She is impressed, I note. Good.

"You need a teacher," I state plainly and grab her hand tighter to lead her out. Once outside, I get on my hovercraft and pat the space behind me. "Get on!"

I like the idea of her straddling the seat, her slender lean legs pressing against mine, her arms wrapped tightly around my waist, her firm hold on me while I speed across the sand, me showing off my ...

"I have my own," she says, disturbing my daydream, and gets on a massive metal bucket of a machinery. "Let's go. I'll lead the way."

She starts up the engine and takes off before I get a chance to protest. Not that my protest would do any good. This is Rey. She is like no other. She bows and follows no one, not even me, and this is one of the reasons why.

I hate to admit it but the bucket is fast and Rey maneuvers it perfectly. She handles the speeder like she handles a spaceship or a weapon; with skill, confidence, and absolute control. My grip on the accelerator stays engaged for the whole ride and I am still barely able to keep pace with her. Seems like my craft will need a few adjustments. Getting bested has never been appealing to me. I like winning.

We enter the Goazon Badlands, one of Jakku's most barren wastelands, as the sun begins to set. The temperature drops quickly at night on this planet. Shelter is a must during the dark hours. Just in time, I spot up ahead a downed Imperial All Terrain Armored Transport partly buried in the sand and Rey begins to slow down. As we get closer, I read its name on the side; Hellhound II. It's an AT-AT left over from the Battle of Jakku. It's seen action but it was never shot down and damaged. This was her home for all those years. The disturbing thought makes me sick.

I park next to her and follow her into the transport through an emergency side hatch. The long passage leads to the lower troop deck which Rey has made her main living space. Despite seeing it in her mind, pieces and glimpse, being here, and with her, is intoxicating. I wander around, inspecting and memorizing every item, while she silently monitors me. A rebel fighter in a typical orange flight suit sits on one of her shelves and the sight of it stings. Righteously, I pick it up and toss it into the trash.

"Hey!" Rey yells and runs up to recollect it.

Irritated, I watch her gently brush off the homemade stitched doll and carefully place it back on the shelf. Her Rebel friends are a constant thorn. She spends too much time with them and too much of her emotions are wasted on them. Like that Finn, the traitor, it's a shame he didn't die back on Starkiller base by the slash from my saber. I'm not good with sharing, especially something I truly value and care for.

My gaze sweeps and lands on the far wall. I walk up to it and let my eyes run along each row of marks. Slowly I remove one glove at a time and let them fall to the floor. I'm done with the gloves. No more covering up. No more avoiding the feel of my skin against another's.

With my fingertip, I trace one of the lines on the metal wall. "I saw this place in your mind... and now to be here... to see it with my own eyes., it's..." I stop as the anger builds. She was so lonely and I never even knew she existed.

Needing her to see me, and me see her without any obstruction, I turn to face her as I remove my helmet. It drops heavily to the floor with a thud, the sound bouncing against the walls. I'm done with the helmet. No more covering up. No more avoiding showing how I feel and to be seen.

"Too many days wasted. Rey, you should have left this place years ago ... I would have found you sooner."

As my last words linger and its meaning seeps in, the Force builds between us. It thickens and tremble with intensity. I want to walk up to her and pull her to me, show her how she effects me... but the time is not right... not yet.

Instead, I nod towards her hammock tied up in the corner of the troop deck. "So, where do I sleep?"

My sudden unexpected question snaps her back. "What?" She asks, the concern evident. She frowns and looks around the cramped space. "You want to sleep here? With me? Where is your ship, Ben?"

"On the other side of the outpost. It's too dark, too cold. I'll just sleep here... with you." I give her a sly smile which only intensifies her discomfort and further amuses me. "I am here to live as you did, Rey, as a scavenger. Why not start by sleeping like one."

She shakes her head in defeat and walks over to a drawer. "Here," she says and tosses me a wad of cloth.

I unfold it and it is a linen hammock similar to hers. Once I get it up, and after testing it twice to ensure it will hold my weight, Rey tosses me a blanket. Impressed, I watch her effortlessly get into the hammock and fold herself in. With a soft puff, she blows out the candle next to her on the wall and her side of the room drapes in shadows. Longing for tomorrow to begin, I blow out the second candle and struggle into the hanging contraption.

"Good night, Rey," I say into the darkness and wait.

The black of night engulfs my words as I wait for her to reply. Seconds feels like the endlessness of space; infinite. But then...

"Good night, Ben," she whispers back and calmness settles.

I doze off easily for the first time in years. All is right in the Galaxy, finally, for she is near.


	9. Chapter 9

I LOVE reviews! Who doesn't right? Thank you so much for taking the time to read, to follow, and to give me a review. Just a "Good Job" or something is great but the more details the better. Let me know what you like, dont like, what you hope will happen  
So Im taking it fairly slow. I always want to stay with the charcters as much as possible and I want to include as much as possible of side stories and past and bits from the movies and other characters  
The attraction is building so the heat will start to build. How hot will it get? I dont know yet. But if you are young, sensitive, or both, you have been warned.  
Thanks. hope you like it. and please review  
Shout out to Tracy137 & Kfulmer7, Thanks, I wrote faster and more because of you

 **9\. REY**

I wake up thinking maybe it had all been a dream; my return to Jakku, arrival at my former home, and Ben. Groggily, I rub my eyes and look across the transporter deck. There in a hammock, still deep in sleep, lies the feared Supreme Leader of the First Order. He looks so peaceful and harmless, with his blanket tucked up to his chin and one naked foot sticking out. If only this was the case. If only he was just Ben; son of Han Solo and General Organa. If only there was no Kylo Ren. If only I had left this place sooner, perhaps I could have prevented it all by finding him.

With him asleep, I brave to really look, to study each feature. His soft dark hair, just long enough for unruly curls to create waves. I wonder what it would be like to run my fingers through it? His scar across his face, the one that I gave him in the forest. I wonder what it would be like to trace along its long line all the way down to his chest? His full red lips, that I have never seen smile or laugh. I wonder what they would feel like on my skin and on my lips. His eyes, those dark sad eyes, staring right into mine...

 _'Shit!'_

"Good morning."

My mind scrambles trying to think of something to say or to do. Did he notice me staring?

"I slept surprisingly and unusually well in this scavenger sling." He struggles to get out and I hold back a laugh. He looks down at the hammock and grimaces. "This thing was not made for a man of my size."

Without thinking, I blurt out. "I thought you looked good in it." His head snaps up and I begins to mumble. "I mean... what I meant was..." I grab a pile of clothes and hurry to change the subject. I toss it to him and he catches it with a questionable frown. "You want to be a scavenger, you have to dress like one. Through there," I say and nod my head towards the passage way to another section of the transporter.

Ben doesn't ask or say anything but just takes the pile of clothes and walks off. While he is gone, I freshen up and change as well. I also have time to brew my traditional morning herb tea. I hand Ben a cup when he finally shows back up. While I sip my tea, I look him over. The beige linen clothes are too short in the arms and the legs, and too tight everywhere. He is not built like the average scavenger, not built like any average man. He is strong, and not just with the Force. I imagine he could easily pick me up and carry me.

Ben takes a mouthful of the tea and makes a face of disgust. "What's for breakfast?"

"You're drinking it," I state absolutely and wait for the evident reaction.

He is predictable. "What? This? This dirty foul water is our breakfast?"

"And lunch," I say and grab my desert gear. "You're a scavenger now. It's a tough life. Maybe too tough for you. Maybe you should go back to your ship and to the First Order."

It's a challenge and we stare each other down. I already know I've won cause I have begun to understand him very well. He hates weakness. He hates being beaten.

"Let's go," he mopes surly and heads out. Once outside, he jumps on his hovercraft and taps the back of it. "Get on."

I shake my head and point to my speeder with its cargo bag attached. "We will need mine for transporting the parts we scavenge. Besides, yours will be easily recognized. Unless..." I tease and grab a can of slime green spray paint. I shake it dramatically and hold it to his pretty black machine.

"No! Rey! No!" He yells and blocks me.

I win again and I grin widely with victory as I get on my trusted speeder, a custom-built repulsorlift vehicle. It's my pride and joy . It's also top heavy and very hard to maneuver unless they are a very skilled pilot. Without a word, Ben gets on behind me. He struggles to get comfortable. Desert clothing has to have tight bindings to keep out the sun and the sand. Googles are also a must for the same reasons.

Even though I knew what was coming I still wasn't ready when I feel Ben's strong arms grab ahold of me and his body slide up right behind me. He is too close, pressing and pulling, and there is no escape. Luckily, we are both wrapped like mummies or who knows what reactions might have taken place.

Trying to ignore him, I start my speeder up and I head towards the Starship grave yard. There are many new ships but most have already been picked through. Deeper and deeper, we go until I feel a tap on my shoulder and I follow Ben's pointing finger. I steer in the direction of his pointer and it leads us to a superb specimen with its nose deep in the sand. It must have been a glorious crash. The First Order vessel went down hard and the sound of it probably carried all the way to the outpost.

"What now?" Ben asks as he jumps off and looks towards the downed ship.

"We scavenge."

Hours later, tired, starving, but with a load full of parts, we return to the speeder. Ben picked a good one. One of the best that I have ever come across. And, once inside, he knew exactly where the best parts were. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's a First Order ship and he is Lord Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order. It's technically his ship. It's stings at the heart but this is the truth.

We load up the booty and make our way to the Niima outpost and the Junk Boss to make our trade. The day is coming to an end and we have not eaten since the day before. I had almost forgotten what this kind of hunger feels like. I used to be so accustomed to it. Now, I've gotten spoiled. Ben, I have a feeling he has never had to go hungry and the sensation must be torturous.

"Me? Why me?"

We are standing outside the trading tent of Unkar Plutt with our large bag of salvage material ready to be bartered for food. "Ben, they know me. I can't go in. Without your mask and in those clothes, you are a scavenger. A scavenger trades their day's work for food. Go! And, no use of the Force."

I give him a small shove and he glares at me annoyed, yet grabs the bag and disappears into the tent. He returns within less than a minute and nervous fear immediately rises inside of me. Something is wrong. I can tell by the deep distress on his face.

"What," I panic and look around. "Did someone recognize you?"

"Rey," he says, gravely serious. "There is a line. I don't do lines."

At his words, leaving me nearly speechless, my stomach growls and so do I. "Ben, I am starving," I snarl. "Get in there, wait in line like everyone else, and get us our dinner." His eyes darken with anger, but he doesn't argue. He snatches the bag again and stomps off. "And no mind tricks," I remind.

Less than ten minutes later, he comes back out with an empty cargo bag. "How much did you get?" He hold out his hand and I count the portions amazed. "Five portions! How? That's amazing. You are a natural, Ben!"

"Of course," he says and puffs his chest with pride and accomplishment. He puts away the portions and points to my speeder. "My turn."

I shake my head. "You can't. It's got a fingerprint scanner so only I can pilot it. You're in the back."

No trip has ever felt so long. No food since yesterday and all day working in the heat, how was I able to do this for all those years? I suppose I numbed myself and fought through it one day at a time. Hope kept me going. Thinking that my family was coming back for me and we would then live happily ever after. I was so stupid.

 _'The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead.'_

Maz words rise and carries over the loud hum of the speeder. Belonging, I mull as I feel the closeness of Ben. His protective arms holding me around my waist, his strong body shielding me at the flank, and his long legs enclosing mine to hold off threats. Even his Force seems to create a defensive force field to guard me. Is this what belonging and family feel like? What love feels like?

Finally at the AT-AT, we disembark and brush off the sand before entering. I hurry to set up plates and cups while the desert vegetables cooks in a pan. Even though, I can clearly hear that Ben is as hungry as I am, he patiently and quietly watches me . I place the portion powder in water and Ben looks on skeptically as it rises into a lump of bread. Once done, I serve it up and we take our plates outside. The sun is just setting and the air temperature is perfect. We eat in silence our typical scavenger meal; dull, tasteless, and with a bit of sand for texture, but it will fill up your stomach and take away the pain.

"That was horrible," Ben declares and sets his empty plate down. He picks up my old helmet instead, half buried in the sand, and rolls his eyes at it. "Resistance pilot helmet?"

I take it from him and the memories begin to flood. "This is where it began. Finishing my dinner, watching the sun set below the sands, wearing this helmet pretending I was a fighter pilot for the Resistance." I ignore Ben's reaction and continue remembering that night. "Then I heard something and I followed the sound. It was Teedo. He had captured a BB unit. I thought I was the savior that night, but I was wrong. BB-8 saved me. The next day I met Finn."

"The traitor," Ben mumbles and takes the helmet from me. He twists and turns it, eyeing it with tight lips, and then gets up to launch it far into the sand lands. "No more Rebels. It's just you and I."

Ben walks over to his hovercraft and gets on. Confounded, I leap up. "Where are you going? Are you not spending the night?" I ask and I had believed that my voice would come out neutral.

I was wrong and Ben looks over his wide shoulders at me with a big smile. "Don't worry. I'll be back."

His hovercraft shoots off towards the setting sun and I watch as he grows smaller and smaller until he fades into nothing. I can't take my eyes off of the horizon. I am frozen by what I just saw. Ben smiled. Not a smirk or a grin, but an actual smile... and it was beautiful.

 **9\. KYLO REN**

I don't want to leave. Leaving her is more painful than getting cut by her saber. Although the look on her face and the tone in her voice when she saw me leave, that did take away some of the sting. I had turn to look at her, felt the joy rise inside of me from her words, and then... I smiled. I can't remember the last time I truly smiled. It must have been years ago, before the First Order and Supreme Leader Snoke, and before I was sent off to train at the temple with my uncle. Even as a child, I didn't smile very often. I suppose there wasn't much to smile about or anyone around that I wanted to smile at. But now, now I feel like smiling all the time. What is happening to me?

My ship is waiting for me in the dark, its black exterior covered by fine sand. Entering the ship feels surreal, like I am seeing it for the first time, like I don't belong here anymore. It's empty, quiet, and lonely. How quickly I have gotten used to having her by my side. I want to go back, leave this ship and return to her, but she is probably already asleep.

"Rey," I say into the emptiness. "What are you doing to me?"

I head to my sleeping quarter and the scavenger clothes drop to the floor as I make my way to the shower stall. The hot water hits my skin and I can literally feel the dirt wash off of me. I place my hands on the glass wall, bow my head, and let the water run down my back. Closing my eyes, Rey appears, and I imagine her here with me in the shower. These are dangerous thoughts. They will take me down a path neither of us are ready to go down yet. It's not easy, her and I, but I wouldn't be feeling like this if it was easy. Amazing usually doesn't come easy. It takes work. And, for her... whatever it takes: blood, sweat, tears...

Still dripping with water, only a towel loosely wrapped around my waist, I walk up to the full-length mirror and carefully study my reflection. Rey saw me like this once, bare chested and vulnerable. No black thick clothing and mask to hide behind. The Force decided to link us at that very moment. She asked me to cover myself. The reason why I struggle with; was she uncomfortable with my bareness because the sight was not appealing to her or was she uncomfortable because it was.

Critically, I look at each limb, line, muscle, and scar. I am tall with a muscular built and dark features. Before joining the Dark Side, I was often told that I was attractive and girls constantly tried to capture my attention. I was never interested. There was nothing special about any of them. There was nothing that I wanted from any of them. Not like with Rey. With Rey, I want it all and everything about her is special: her strength with the Force, her fighting skills, her spirit, her heart, her body... She's the one. The only one.

The night is spent mostly awake, mind is too full and body too tight for sleep to happen. By 3 am, I give up and head to the food pantry. This was the reason why I left her. I plan to surprise her with breakfast in the morning. Not that scavenger garbage that we forced down last night, but real food that looks, smells, and taste good. She is going to need it for what I have planned.

Four long hours later, I sneak down the passageway and into the troop deck. There in the sleeping sling, I find her peacefully sleeping still. I hunch down next to her and watch her; the flutter of her lashes, the tremble of her upper lip, and the movement of her chest. With every moment spent with her, I fall a little harder, a little deeper.

The smell of the food spreads across the small space and she stirs. "Ben," she mumbles, still mostly asleep and inhales deeply through the noise. "I smell food."

"Time to get up, Padawan. Your training begins today."

Rey sits up, abruptly alert. "My training? Ben, why would you train me? The stronger I get, the harder it will be to defeat me."

"Defeat you?" I look at her sternly, not liking what she is saying and implying. "Why would I want to defeat you? Why would I ever fight you again?" I inch a little closer and sit a little higher, so that our eyes align. "There are only two ways this can end; you joining the Dark Side or me turning to the Light. We will never be apart again. The Force won't allow it. I won't allow it."

She shakes her head, her eyes full of concern and despair. "Ben, I will never join the Dark Side."

"We'll see," I say and smile, not as big as last night, yet still a smile. "We'll see."


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you for the reviews. Let me know what you think. It was suggested to me that they go to a different planet. Which one would be suitable?

Information credit on all characters . wiki/Rey

 **10\. REY**

In my dream, there is food everywhere. Food of all types: meat, fruit, bread, cake. The sight and smell makes my stomach ache with wanting. The meal yesterday was not satisfying in size or in flavor. I want food, good food, and lots of it.

I stir and briefly open my eyes lids. An image flashes before darkness encloses again. It's Ben. He's back. The knowledge of his return and close proximity causes all of me to finally relax. I didn't sleep well last night. First I couldn't fall asleep because I was waiting for him to return. Once I did fall asleep, I kept waking up throughout the night thinking that he had returned. And now he is here and he has brought with him an amazing aroma.

"Ben," I mumble, so groggy and sleepy. I inhale the air and the smell makes my mouth water. "I smell food."

I hear him speak and his voice cuts a path through my foggy state. "Time to get up, Padawan. Your training begins today."

Padawan?.. Training?.. What?

Instantly awake, I sit up and he is right next to me by the side of my hammock, watching me sleep. "My training?" I rub the sleep out of my eyes so I can see him better. He is once again wearing his black attire, but the fabric looks lighter and more airy. "Ben, why would you train me? The stronger I get, the harder it will be to defeat me."

Ben is not happy with my reply and I get that look, the look of superior authority. "Defeat you? Why would I want to defeat you? Why would I ever fight you again?" He moves closer and his intensely dark eyes seize me, holding me captive and mesmerized. "There are only two ways that this can end; you joining the Dark Side or me turning to the Light. We will never be apart again. The Force won't allow it. I won't allow it."

I shake my head, knowing that what he wants and hopes to be is impossible. "Ben, I will never join the Dark Side."

"We'll see," He says and smiles again, his second smile. "We'll see." He nods his head towards the back of him and there is another smile, an ever bigger one this time. " I brought you breakfast."

I peer over his shoulder and see the spread balancing on a board in the middle of the troop deck. Ben rises and holds out his hand to me. I hesitate. Ben has long thrown his gloves aside. This is skin on skin contact. What will it do; to the Force, to him, and to me?

"Rey," Ben says and in his voice is the same desperate plea like in the throne room. I look up and his face holds the same scared anguish.

"Please, Rey," he aches and I take his hand without thought, wanting to take away his pain.

His hand is warm, soft, and so big my small hand almost disappears. His fingers encloses mine not hard or rough, but gently and protectively. He guides me out my hammock and towards the awaiting food. There is no stream of memories being exchanged or Force involvement, it is just his naked skin against mine. It is just him and I.

Ben lets go of my hand and I almost protest. He hands me a plate and I thankfully accept. I am slightly overwhelmed; by the gesture of the food, by the feel of his skin against mine, and by my reaction to his touch. The pull towards him, the need and want to have him close, is starting to worry me. No, wrong word, it scares me. He is still Kylo Ren, Dark to the core when it comes to all things besides me, and if I fall in love with him... I will also fall for the Dark Side.

I fill up a plate and Ben follows me outside to my usual place. "You're not going to eat?"

Ben grins mischievously, looking like a little boy caught in the act. "I already ate," he admits.

"Really?" I scold. "That's why you went back to your ship?"

"That and to take a shower."

That is why his hair looks extra soft and he smells so good. "WOW! You're a cheater, Ben Solo! I guess the life of a scavenger was too tough for you."

He smiles. "You're the scavenger, Rey,.. and I'm the Monster."

Silence and severity enter, and my heart rate and breathing nearly stalls. I did call him Monster once, maybe even twice, but that is not how I see him now. He's killed his own father, injured Finn, directly and indirectly caused the death of thousands, and attacked me numerous times, but there is more to him. I know it because I've seen it and I feel it. The Force doesn't lie and it has shown me what I needed to see.

"You're not a Monster, Ben. Not to me."

He tips his head, his eyes invading, making me heat throughtout. "Then what am I to you?"

To say or not to say. Am I ready for this step? Is he ready?

Not yet. "Today..." I can see him tense up; his shoulders straightening, his chest lift, and his jaw tighten. "Today, you are Master Ben Solo and I am your Padawan."

His body relaxes all over as my words sink in and he nods in agreement. "That's a good start," he says, accepting my dodge. He grabs the empty plate from my hands, frisbee it down the transporter passageway, and offers me his hand again. "Training begins now, my young Padawan. You will listen, do as I say, and call me Master Solo. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I agree and swallow hard with nervous excitement. A look of disapproval and I quickly add. "Yes, Master Solo."

"Good," he grins, happy with my obedience. He gets on his hover craft and motions to the back. "Get on, Padawan."

There is no disagreeing allowed so I slide up behind him. My arms carefully encircle his waist and my chest presses to his back. The intimate nearness sets my heart racing and all I want to do is lay my cheek against his back. He is the most dangerous man in the Galaxy and yet I have never felt as safe as when I am with him. He has hurt me in the past, as I have him, but that is the past and we are letting the past die.

His hovercraft flies as smooth as I expected. Gracefully, it moves down the sandy terrain like a black panther. We are drawing the attention of every Jakku we pass; their stares follow us as far as their sight allows. I should feel concerned and uncomfortable. I should not want to be on the hovercraft with Ben. I'm a pilot, not a passenger. I'm strong and independent, not a tag-along. I'm of the light, a true enemy of the First Order. So why do I feel such excitement over riding and holding on? Is it because I am soon to be shown the ways of the Force from a Master? Why do I feel such pride over speeding past all others? Is it because of the honor to experience such an exquisite machinery between my legs? Why do I not feel uneasy of being the passenger of the Dark Lord himself? Is it because I know that I am the only one in the entire Galaxy who the feared Lord Ren would allow this close and intimate? Of all the people and creatures in the Galaxy, he has chosen me. How could I not be affected by this undisputed fact?

Niima outpost begins to reveal itself to us through the sand dust gusts. Ben doesn't play safe when it comes to anything. Why would this be any different? Of course we will enter into the Niima outpost and Junk Boss territory openly and without a care. This is Kylo Ren, Leader of Supreme Leader, feared and fearless because of his position in the First Order and his favor with the Force.

Ben removes his head and eye coverings and looks at me over his shoulder amused. I realize that we have stopped and that my arms are still tightly holding on to him. Embarrassed, I unwrap them and disembark the black shiny beauty.

"First lesson in the ways of the Force; the Jedi mind trick." My insides skip and somersault. "You have played with this skill and you have gotten lucky. It is time to learn how to control it. Are you ready to listen and learn, Padawan?"

"Yes, Master Solo."

"Good," Ben says and scans the area sorrounding us. He zeros in on the cleaning station and looks satisfied with his selection. "Let's start with someone easy; someone old, weak, and slow of mind. Like that one," Ben says and points at a scavenger scrubbing down her loot to prepare if for trade with the Junk Boss.

The woman must be at least 70, with body and skin worn by sun, work, and starvation. "That is a horrible to say, " I scold, horrified over Ben's harsh words.

Ben doesn't acknowledge me but keeps his sight on the Jedi mind trick target. "It's the truth and you know it. And, you also know that could have been you if you had not met me."

"If I had not met BB-8 and Finn," I correct. Ben abandons the target and instead gives me a stern look making me immediately amend. "Forgive me, Master Solo... if I hadn't met you."

Satisfied, his attention returns to the target. "Do not contradict me again, Padawan."

I give a small bow, consenting, and I walk over to sit down opposite of the selected subject. My nerves are wired tight. I have no idea what I am doing and how I start. The only time I have ever done this is when I was trying to survive. I had to have the restraints removed so that I could escape the First Order. This is completely different. This old woman has done nothing to me. She is of no threat. I do not feel threatened.

Ben has been watching me from the side but now moves to sit beside me with his back to the scavenger. "Feel the Force; in her, in you, in all. You know the Force, Padawan, she does not. Use your thoughts and words to trick her mind and to convince."  
He makes it sound so simple. He makes it look so simple. Maybe because it is simple?

Concentrating, letting go of all other thoughts and sensations, I reach out and there it is; her Force. I can feel it as clearly as the touch of the breeze or the heat of the sun. I seek her eyes but they are focused on the parts in her cramp like fingers.

"You will seize all work and only see me," I say and she looks up. She blinks in a hazy daze and I repeat, sweeping my hand before her eyes. "You will seize all work and only see me."

Like an echo, the scavenger voices it back to me. "I will seize all work and only see you."

The part slips between her fingers and hits the wooden table with a thud. Frozen in movement, she watches me as if waiting for further instructions. She looks like a doll, empty and lifeless, and a shiver moves through me.

"Good," Ben says next to me. "Now tell her to pick up all her parts and take them to trade."

"The parts are not ready. Unkar Plott will never accept them. She will go hungry tonight."

Ben grins and rises from the bench, ready to move on to the next phase. "Trust me, Padawan."

I do trust him so I do as my Master command. "You will collect all your parts and take them to trade."

Without any hesitation, the old scavenger repeats my command, picks up all the parts scattered on the table, and gets up to leave. I watch her with dread as she heads towards Junkar Plott's tent. He will not even give her a quarter portion for those parts. I know the Junk Boss and his standards well... too well.

"Well done, Padawan. Now a harder target." Ben points to the trade tent and I shake my head. "Padawan, you are to listen, learn, and obey your Master. It's the only way for you to learn the ways of the Force and become who you are meant to be."  
I look back and forth to the tent and to Ben. " You want me to use the Jedi mind trick on Unkar Plott? It doesn't work on those who only care for money. That is Unkar Plott." Ben doesn't answer but begins to walk towards the opening of the trade tent. The same as the old woman but a moment ago disappeared into. "Ben! Please! I'm not ready...BEN! PLEASE!"

Ben stops. I stare at his back, my heart beating fast and hard. I'm scared. Exactly of what I am not sure. I have always been fearless and capable. Why do I feel such apprehension?

Ben turns and walks back to me. His face is etched in concern and remorse, and then I understand. It is all about Ben. I fear failing. I fear failing Ben. This is how important he is becoming to me.

Ben reaches me and in one fluid motion, his long slender fingers shape around my face. "Rey," he whispers, low and affectionately, and I melt into his touch. "There is nothing you can't do. I have seen and felt how strong you are with the Force. I am in awe of your power. I am in awe with you. Everything about you amazes me."

I lean my head into one of his warm big palms and close my eyes. I draw strength from him. Ever since we first met, his very presence has always made me stronger. Now, with his touch, I feel invincible.

I reopen my eyes and with all doubts lifted I walk to the tent to enter. Inside, there is a long line up to the stall of the Junk Boss. Plott is too busy exploiting the Jakku people to notice me entering and moving towards him. Unseen, I sneak into the stall and place myself behind him. I stand there, waiting, until the right one walks up to the counter.

"What is this garbage?" The Junk Boss yells, making the old scavenger shake of fear. Plott picks up one of the parts, still covered in black grim and fine sand. "Disgusting!" He yells again and throws the part back at the scavenger. Irritated, he tries to wipe off his hand on a dirty old towel. "Get out of here, you filthy old..."

"You will accept her trade and pay her 100 portions for her parts."

Plott stops his insults and stares straight ahead.. and then. "I will accept her trade and pay her 100 portions for her parts."

Unkar Plott grabs a cotton bags filled with portions and slams it on the counter. The scavenger woman's eyes widen with shock and with trembling careful hands she slowly reaches for the bag. Once she has the bag, she quickly scurries off. Pride fills me. I did that. I have ensured her a full stomach tonight and many nights to come.

"See I told you to trust me. She won't go hungry tonight," Ben says behind me. "Now, one more thing. Probe his mind. Find all the answers you seek about your parents and why they left you."

Mind probing, another Jedi trick. It's what Ben tried to do to me when he needed the last piece of the map to Skywalker. It backfired on him and I ended up probing him instead. I did it without knowing how that day. I was just trying to prevent Ben from attaining information about Skywalker's location so I resisted and saw deep into Ben. It's how I found out about his deepest fear; that he will never be as strong as Darth Vader. I was motivated then, and I am motivated now. I still want to know; who, why, how, ... everything.

Less than five minutes later, Ben and I walk out of the tent. I have the answers I need and every scavenger who comes to Plott today to trade will get 100 portions no matter what parts they bring. Unkar Plott will wake up tomorrow morning much poorer than the previous day. My mind trick will not help the scavengers on Jakku long term but their bellies will be a little fuller for the next few weeks. This knowledge gives me some satisfaction and ease.

Ben steers his hovercraft west and towards the starship graveyards. I hold on tight not asking anything for I have accepted Ben as my Jedi Master. With sandblasting speed, we zoom past one ship after another. The day is going towards its end. The sun is moving lower towards the sandy edge and the air has a coolness that it did not have but an hour ago. My internal clock also lets me know that dinner time is near and should be soon addressed. Breakfast was big and delicious, but it was also many hours ago.

Then I see it; Ben's notorious ship. Like a sinister black bird with his eerie wings raised to the sky, it patiently wait as we approach. I remember the first time I saw it. It was on Takodana. I had fled it that day to get away from it's pilot. So much has changed.  
Ben gets off first and offers me his hand. Surprisingly, it is not to his ship he leads me but towards another much bigger ship up on a sand dune. Clearly it has been shot down very recently. Disappointment rises and my body protests.

"Ben, I am tired and hungry. You really want to scavenge now?"

"Padawan," he addresses me and I realize how wrong I had been. We are still training. "Lift it into the sky and move it..." He pivots and then points at a sand hill some 500 feet away. "... to there."

I gape at the massive ship. "Master. Ben. That's impossible. I've only moved rocks. That's a destroyer, thousands of pounds."

"Nothing is impossible. It's weight and size has no importance. Only your strength with the Force matters and how you harness that strength. I know you can do it."

Wanting to make him proud, I reach out one hand and then the other as I reach with my mind to connect with the Force inside and all around the ship. The ship trembles, the sand around it shifts and slides down the dune hill. Triumph swells inside of me as I watch it work and then... nothing. The destroyer settles back into the sand, even deeper than when I started. I try again and again, each time the ship shakes and then digs down even further into the sand.

Hands on my hips, breathing deep and struggling, I bow my head in defeat just as Ben leans in. "Try it one more time," he says, hushed and reassuring.

I release my hands from my hips and lift them up towards the ship. I give it all I got. Sweat forms and runs down my body. The ships shakes, elevates, and grinds. I am about to give up from exhausting, about to tell Ben again that it is impossible, when...

Lips on my neck. A kiss. Soft warm touch of his lips against my skin. A rush of energy blasts through me, forcing a moan from my lips as the energy rush spreads and effects. The ship shoots up in the air and holds. Somehow, I am able to navigate the ship to the hill Ben pointed to. All energy drains from me and I collapse. Ben catches me and I am in his arms. Effortlessly, he holds me and looks down at me triumphantly.

"See," he says. Transfixed I watch his lips move as he speaks. "Anything is possible when we do it together."

 **10\. KYLO REN**

"Master. Ben. That's impossible. I've only moved rocks. That's a destroyer, thousands of pounds."

It's been a good day. Rey finally rode behind me on the speeder. I finally got to feel her behind me; holding and pressing. All day, I was her skilled Master and she was my eager Padawan. She was good, I never doubted her, with the arts of mind trick and mind probe. Now one more skill before the sun sets on another day.

"Nothing is impossible. It's weight and size has no importance. Only your strength with the Force matters and how you harness that strength. I know you can do it."

I do. I believe in her. Completely and without limit.

A fighter she is, like me. And stubborn she is, like me. Over and over, she tests her strength and lifts the destroyer just barely over the sands. Over and over, she loses the connection and the destroyer drops heavily into the soft sand. I feel her frustration and her anger over her failure. As her Master, I am to guide and support her.

I walk to stand behind her, our clothing touching as they move in the breeze, and I lean to whisper. "Try it one more time."

From somewhere, she finds the energy. She gathers it all. Her body shakes, veins pulsating at the neck, and sweat drops begins to roll down her skin. I have seen this concentration before; in the interrogation room and in the throne room. Both times she was going up against me; resisting my mind probe and fighting for the saber. This time, we will do it together.

I've wanted to do it since the first moment I saw her in the woods on Takodana. Beautiful, strong, fascinating, like no one I've ever seen and met before. Her skin has called to me but I have resisted, hesitated, and worried about her reaction. Now there is no hesitation and I do not fear her reaction. Quite the opposite. I look forward to it.

The very moment my lips touch her skin, the sensation spreads like electricity down every nerve, vein, and fiber. The Force inside of me, raw and untamed, explodes and enters her with the rush of a rapid. She gives a tremble, as do I, and the mighty Destroyer lifts off the sand into the sky. With absolute control, she guides the craft to the hill and my lips separate from her skin. She collapses, exhausted from the task and my Force exchange, and I catch her in my arms.

Satisfied, a well spent day, I walk to my ship with my future bride in my arms. "See," I tell her as she looks up at my with those dazzling eyes. My lips still tingle from the touch of her skin as I speak. "Anything is possible when we do it together."

"You can put me down now, Ben."

I can but I don't want to. "I've held you like this before. On Takodana. I carried you in my arms through the woods and onto my ship."  
I step onboard and Rey looks curious around. "I've been on this ship before?" She frowns, collecting her thoughts and remembering. "You told the Storm trooper 'Forget the droid. We have what we need.' Then all went dark until I came to. I was restrained and you were watching me from across the room."

"You called me a creature in a mask. It's the first time that I didn't want to hide behind the mask. The first time that I wanted someone to see me."

Her hand reaches up and she runs her fingers slowly along the scar on my face. "I see you."

I stop, unable to move, and the emotions swell. So long I wanted to feel her touch and her affection. She is becoming mine.

Too soon, she withdraws her hand and I feel forced to set her down. Her stomach growls and she needs a shower.

"Where's the Millennium Falcon?" I ask later as we eat.

Rey looks up from her plate, her hair wet slicked back and she dressed in fresh silky black clothes. "I left it with Chewie on Takodana. Maz got me a ride on a trader ship."

I sneer. "Max Kanata, the Pirate Queen." The rumors are many of this Takodana humanoid. Some good, some bad, mostly true. "Is there anything you need from the AT-AT?"

"Why?"

"Because we are leaving this sand hell tomorrow."


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you so much for the reads and the reviews. Hope you like this new chapter. Give me suggestions and confirmation that I am staying true to story and characters please  
Thanks, B

wiki/Kylo_Ren%27s_command_shuttle

wiki/Endor

 **11\. REY**

"Leaving? Leaving where?"

We are having dinner on Kylo Ren's ship, the one that looks like death with wings. For many, seeing it land meant just that; death. Who would believe me, I hardly do, that I would be sitting here eating dinner on this very ship, eating food that Kylo Ren prepared himself, and dressed in First Order clothes that Ren laid out for him after my hot shower. I first declined the shower, even though I wanted and needed one desperately, but Ben had insisted. I'm glad he did and that I forfeit. The shower was heavenly. Right up there with standing under the waterfall on Takodana. After the shower, I found new clothes in black silk. They are of the First Order. I should have refused. But I didn't want to put on my dusty dirty clothes after the shower and besides, its clothes. It's fabric, thread, and buttons.

"Not sure yet. Where would you want to go, Padawan?"

I'm still watching his lips as he speaks, my neck tingles from his kiss, and the sensation of his scar under my fingertips lingers. I try my best to act natural and unaffected. I doubt my acting is very convincing.

"Padawan? We're still training? I still have to call you Master?"

He gives me one those smiles again, the ones that I never used to see and now he flashes them all the time, and I have to look down. I'm beginning to lose it. And apparently, tonight, I am sleeping here on this ship with him. And apparently, tomorrow, the two of us are leaving Jakku together to an unknown destination. It's speeding up between us and I can't decide if I am more anxious or excited.

"Ben," I say and I have his full attention. I have that effect on him. "I'll come with you, if..." He narrows his eyes and there is small twitch below his left. He's not fond of threats and ultimatums. "... you hold off all attacks on the Rebel forces."

Ben noticeably relaxes and picks up his utensil again. "All activity is on hold, awaiting my command. Your traitor friends are safe for now."

"Oh." I mull over this new information as I eat another spoon full of the stew that Ben has prepared. The stew is flavorful and filling. "This is really good."

"It's Alderaan Stew," he shares reluctantly. "The meat is nerf from the planet Corellia."

"Alderaan; your mother's home planet. Corellia; your father's home planet." I hold for some type of response or reaction. There isn't any so I press on. "Who taught you how to cook?"

Ben sighs, lays down the spoon and pushes his bowl away. "Are we really going to do this?" I slowly nod and he sighs again. "The General taught me."

He won't call her mother. "I didn't know General Organa cooks."

"Not very often. She was too busy leading the Rebellion to have time for anything else."

"Including you," I fill in.

Ben gets up out of his seat abruptly and the chair tips backwards with a thud. "Rey, don't." He walks over to the command window and looks out at the black Jakku night. "It's in the past. I destroyed Ben Solo a long time ago. He was weak and foolish. All his family ever gave him was neglect, lies, and deceit." He turns back around at me and I rise from my seat. "I'm creating a new family, with you." I begin to protest but he rotates back to the window. "You can have the bed. Get your rest. Tomorrow we leave this place for something more colorful."

I've been dismissed. I could have stayed. He wouldn't deny me but I am tired and I do need my rest for tomorrow's journey. Ben's bed also looks very tempting with its large size, black soft sheets, and plush pillows. Perfectly content, I slip under the covers and breath in the faint hint of Ben's scent. Sleep begins to claim me and the last conscious thought is of Ben and his lips on my neck.

I wake with a jerk the next morning. The sleeping chamber is no longer cloaked in night light but is now fully lit up by the strong rays of Jakku. I stretch with contentment over a good nights sleep. I feel shame over thinking it, but joining the Dark side certainly would come with some perks. Another perk is that it comes with Kylo Ren.

I gasp at my own thought. What is wrong with me? I can't control my thoughts, my body, my feelings, I'm losing my grip on the situation. If Ben realizes, how will he react? How will he take advantage?

"I can't tell him. I can't let him know," I say out loud, striking a pact with myself.

"What?" Someone asks from behind my left shoulder and I jump startled. "Woaw, " Ben exclaims and walks into the room to sit down on the bed. Uncomfortable, I slide over to the side a bit. "I hope you're ready to leave. I'm more than ready to get off this sandbox. We'll collect your things and then I have one last place to take you."

He drops a cryptic carrot and then walks into the bathroom. Not long after, I hear the water run and he's in the shower. I pull my knees to my chest and hug my legs close. Ben is in the shower, undressed, and with the hot water running down his body. The image of him shirtless materializes and I have to get up to walk around to clear it.

"You're losing it, Rey. Focus," I tell myself but it's no use. I can still hear the shower and the image of Ben seems to be burned into my mind. "Rey, stop!" I beg myself and then I feel it. The ship begins to shake, items fall off the shelves, and the metal creaks in distress.

Only wrapped in a towel, still soaking wet, Ben rushes out from the shower and tries to grab me for protection.

"Ben, don't. You'll make it worse. You're causing this."

"What?"

I only catch a small glimpse of his confusion before I rush out of the room and drop the shuttle ramp so I can escape. Dressed only in the black silk night dress he provided me last night, I stand in the morning sun while the sand gust beat into me. I am still shaken, trembling, but mostly horrified. What the hell just happened? The Force got away from me, I had zero control, and now I have to explain to Ben how and why.

"Rey," he calls behind me and I wish for a sand pit to drown me. "Are you hurt?"

"No," I manage to answer. "I just need a minute."

I listen and I hear him go back up the ramp. Loudly and slowly, I exhale and ground myself. Closing my eyes, I focus on the sound and feel of the wind, the smell of the sand, the heat of the sun, and the rhythmic beat of my heart. The tightness and rushing dissipates, yet I fear to go back in. Ben is in there. He will have questions and worse, what if it will happen again?

I snail back to the ship, up the ramp, and inside. With his eyes glued on my back, I close the ramp door and scurry off to the bathroom. I can't hide forever, this I know. But just a few minutes more might help. Then, I feel the motor start up and we lift off the sand floor. Ben is has decided its time to leave. Curiosity takes over and I venture out and over to the command window.

Ben signals for me to sit down in the seat next to his. "It's an Upsilon-command shuttle with SJFS-200a sublight ion engines, internal hyperdrive, and durasteel armor hull."

I bite the bait, equally the lover of anything with engines. "Counter measures?"

"Sensor jammer and anti-projectile deflection system."

"Armament?"

"Ls-2 twin heavy laser cannons."

My fingers are itching. "May I?" I ask and Ben lets go of the controls without any hesitation. I jump into pilot mode and take over. "She flies beautifully," I remark as I test out the speed and the maneuvering response.

"She?"

I laugh, both at Ben's expression and with joy over the feel of his ship. I am the pilot of Kylo Ren command transport. Kylo Ren is letting me, a scavenger from Jakku desert planet and a nothing from nothing, fly his ship. This is my story and with every day it is only getting better and more legendary.

My home comes into view and I circulate above before I set down. Ben stays onboard while I go inside and collect the few things that I want to bring with me into my new beginning. Amongst the things are the saber and the bundle of clothing that Maz gave me. It is not time to show Ben yet. I will know when the right time has come. Before walking out, I take one last look at what was my home for far too long. My life here was full of sadness, loneliness, hunger, work, and more of the same in the future ahead. The wall with the marks tells the tale; every mark representing the same as the day before. I won't miss it. This is the past and I can let it die.

Ben takes off the second I walk in but he doesn't fly far. He rotates back to face the AT-AT and hovers in the air. I sit down in the co-pilot seat and I know what Ben is thinking. In agreement, I test the power of the ship's laser cannons and my home is soon no more than a smoking wreckage. Satisfied, Ben takes over the control and takes us further west into Jakku desert wasteland.

"Where to now?" I ask but there is no reply.

Ben stays quiet as we continue to fly across the sands. I sit back into the co-pilot seat and watch the wasteland. This may be the very last time I ever see Jakku and its sand, dunes, ship graveyards, tedoos, and scavengers. I couldn't think of a better way to see it for the last time. Death with wings, but a beautiful ship nonetheless. And, the pilot isn't bad looking either.

We begin to descend and surprised I get out of the seat to better peer below. "Where are we? Why are we here? Ben?"

"You'll see."

Together, we walk out and I recognize the place because of the bar; Ergel's bar in Cratertown. This is my first time here but I have heard many stories of this drinking hole and its famous drink, the Knockback Nectar. Ben must want to try it before we leave Jakku. Although, I never thought him to be a drinking man. There is still so much I do not know about him.

Every head turn towards us as we enter the bar and all conversations come to a sudden end. The place reminds me of Maz' drinking hole. Han told me to not stare at any of it and the same goes for here. All species mingle and drink: teedos, kyuzo, uthuthma, melitto, and nu-coasian to name a few. Two males of the Abednedo specie stand up in a confrontational way to block our path but quickly sit back down as Ben grips his saber. I am fully capable of taking care of myself, but seeing Ben acting as a protector, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't like it.

Ben surprises me again when instead of going up to the bar counter, he walks straight through and out the back door. Past old spirit bottles and barrels we weave until Ben stops at a small graveyard at the slant of a sand dune. Simple crosses marks the sand covered plots. I freeze in place and everything begins to pound as I realize where Ben has taken me.

 _'They're dead in a paupers' grave in the Jakku desert.'_

On shaky legs, I walk through the short wind-beaten wooden picket fence outlining the graveyard. This is how it ended for them; my parents. The junkers who sold me off for drinking money spent their last moment at the Ergel's bar and are now rotting away in unmarked graves.

"Which ones?" I ask Ben and he moves behind me to lead me to two graves in the back. I try to read the names off the poorly crafted wood crosses but the harsh climate has long worn it down. "They were here all along. All those years looking into the sky waiting for them to return, and they were right here?"

Tears begin to run down my face and Ben encloses me into his arms. I wrap my arms tightly around him and welcome his comforting. My tears wet the shirt at his chest but he only holds me closer. We stand like this until my tears stops running and a calmness replaces the grief. Ben has given me closure. He keeps believing himself to be Kylo Ren of the Dark Side and trying to convince me that Ben Solo is gone. But a First Order Lord would not care if I had closure over my parents, only a man of the light would. With tear soaked eyes I look up at Ben and he places a kiss on my forehead only manifesting even deeper my belief in him turning.

"Are you ready?" Ben asks once we are back on his ship and prepares to enter hyperspace.

I nod, more than ready. "Hit it."

 **11 KYLO REN**

"Hit it," she tells me and I do just that.

"Our destination is not located near any hyperspace node so a complex series of jumps off the Sivestri Trace is required in order to get there. Just sit back and relax. My ship is equipped with warp vortex stabilizer. It makes entry and exit hyperspace smoother."

"I know," she replies from the command chair next to me causing me to grin like a fool.

Her cockiness reminds me of someone. "Our destination is often called the Forest Moon. Emperor Palpatine chose to construct the second Death Star in orbit around this planet due to th..."

"Endor? We're going to Endor?"

Her excitement is encouraging and reassuring. "You've heard of it?"

"Of course. It's the location of the Battle of Endor where the Rebellions caused the end of the Empire. Where Darth Vader killed the Emperor and sacrificed his own life to save Master Skywalker. I've heard there are ruins from the Death Star scattered across the planet."

"I'm glad you approve," I answer a bit stiff. Two sore subjects in one sentence; my uncle and the death of my grandfather. "Most of the debris settled into orbit around the planet but there are ruins within the dense forest. It will make for perfect training ground, my young apprentice. Light saber fighting and pilot skills."

"Pilot skills? I'm an excellent pilot, Ben. Even better than you."

I glance over at her, give a grin, and accept the challenge. "We'll see."

Not long after, I get a chance to show off my pilot skills as we enter the Endor system and I have to navigate through the debris circulating the planet. The small forested moon lays before us. With only 8% surface water, the planet from a distance glows green in color due to the dense woodlands. Above that, thin moisture clouds blanket most of the moon due to the planet's high humidity.

I set the ship down by Lake Sui. Ewoks, one of the native species of Endor, has made the lake their home by building their wooden village on stilts with connecting pathways. Our arrival creates quite the stir. The primitive Ewoks armed with rocks, stone spears, and wooden bow and arrows surround us as we walk down the ramp. The furry solid-colored humanoid Ewoks, averaging only a meter in height, holler and stabs at us with their pathetic weapons. I'm seriously consider drawing my saber and chopping them all down.

"I wonder what they taste like cooked over a fire? I've heard ewok jerky is a popular snack across the outer rim."

"Ben!" Rey scolds. "Just... let me do the talking."

I raise an eyebrow, part impressed, part disbelieving. "You speak Ewokese?"

"No, but many languages are similar and share the same roots. I've come across many languages on Jakku. I'm sure I can figure it out. Besides, I'm more likable."

"Can't argue with that."

I sit down on the ramp and watch as the Ewoks gather around Rey like excited children on a playground. Who knows how long it has been since they saw a human. Since the battle, perhaps? My eyes sweep the woods and lake. This is where General Organa and Han Solo fought the Galactic Empire and won. Stories has it that there was a celebration not far from here in the Bright Tree Village where not only the victory was celebrated but also the death of the Emperor and Darth Vader. General Organa celebrating the death of her own father. Makes me sick and full of rage every time that I think of it.

"Ben," Rey calls from inside the hord of Ewoks. The sound of her joyful laugh push away the anger and hate that had begun to build. "They have invited us to eat with them... or they want to eat us."

She laughs again and I watch her, walking away hand in hand with two Ewoks and encircled by the rest. She's so full of life and love. Just being around her pushes away all negative thoughts and emotions. I can't imagine ever being apart. The thought of losing her...

"Ben," she calls and I realize that she has stopped. "Come on." With long strides, I join her and her eyes slide down to my hands. "Ben, unclench your hands. You're always walking with your hands in fists, like you are angry. Here, give me your hand." She grabs my hand and weaves her fingers through mine. "Isn't that better?"

It is. And she is right. I do walk with my hands wrapped tight into fits. And I used to be angry all the time. Not so anymore. Not since her.

Rey's Ewokese needs work but she was right; they did want us to eat with them. A long table is set up on the center floating platform with Rey and I are treated as honored guests. The meal made of grilled fresh lake fish and lantern bird with various local greens is surprisingly enjoyable. Throughout the meal, Rey carries out a lively discussion with what I assume is the Council of Elders. Judging by the amount of laughter from both sides, I assume that the misunderstandings are many. It is also clear that neither cares.

After the meal, a tour is arranged of the Ewok floating homes, the path leading to the Death Star shield generator is shown, and two old inoperable speeder bikes left from the Battle of Endor is given as a token. Rey claps her hands together and immediately starts assessing what needs to be done. I see a challenge evolving. I'm in.

We spend the rest of the day and long into the evening working on our bikes. This will not only be a show in pilot skill but also in mechanics. I don't like losing, to anyone, not even her. I intend to win but so does she. It's not until we are forced inside by the pestering night bugs that we break. After we have both showered, we grab each a plate of leftover food that the Ewok's brought us. While eating, we watch the fires of the Ewok floating village through the command window.

"We need to get rid of this ship," she says suddenly. She looks around as if saying good bye. "It stands out too much. Too many recognizes it."

A spark inside of me glows and strenghtens. "You are worried for me?"

She rotates her chair around so she can face me. "Of course."

Everything halts, all other things disappear, and silence enters. It is just her and I, just like when the Force connects us. I reach out my hand as she does hers and our fingers tips touch. Her memories, thoughts, feelings, and glimpse of her future rush into me. Snoke was a liar. He never had anything to do with our exchange. This is all us. Made possibly by the Force yes, but still, willed by us. I open and surrender myself completely to her, allowing her to see it all. She is already seen me at my worst.

Then, tears begin to flow down her face and I pull away my hand, breaking the connection. "Ben," she whispers and before I can prepare myself her arms are wrapped around my neck.

She is the one crying, yet she is giving me comfort. I don't know what she saw. Whatever it was, it is breaking her heart. Perhaps, it was a sad little boy who just wanted some time with his mom, or a scared preteen with so many questions about becoming a man but whose father never stayed still long enough to answer them, or an abandoned young man who was sent away to be trained with his uncle only to wake up one night with a saber held over his head?

Her tears soaking my neck, her hot breath against my skin, her breasts pressing against my chest. "Rey, I'm fine. It's in the past. As long as I have you, now and in the future, I'm fine."

She snivels and I fall even deeper. I press her to me, my hands in her hair and at the curve of her back, and her nearness affects me as a man. She notices and the crying stops abruptly. There is an awkward moment when neither of us know what to do. We remain clinging to each other and my reaction to her will only grow. We separate and she will have to face her embarrassment.

Then, I feel it. A first, the vibration is small, just a tremble at the base of the ship. Then the shaking gets stronger, the wind picks up outside, and there are frantic sounds from the Ewoks outside. Rey pushes herself away from me and flees to the sleeping chamber with a quick good night. Left alone, I look outside and see the reason for the commotion; Lake Sui is in turmoil with ripple waves crashing onto the wooden planks of the Ewok village. Some Force has set up a chain reaction causing the ground to move, the wind to gust, and the water to ripple. Was it Rey? If so, what was the reason? Was it me?

I don't get much sleep. And neither does Rey. I can feel her in the next room; every toss, turn, sigh, and frustration. It is the same for me. Why can't we just move on? Push all other things aside and do what our bodies want us to do?

As daylight breaks through the trees and reflects onto the lake, the whole ship lights up into an inferno. I hear movement outside and find that breakfast has been left outside the ship. Eggs from the tip-yip bird, thin sliced splledark meat, and acorn bread. The acorn is the fruit of the local sanctuary tree. General Organa was given such a tree after the Battle of Endor by the Ewok Wicket W. Warrick. I remember that she kept in a pot and used it as part of her meditation ritual. I was never to touch it.

I sense the second her eyes open and she is awake. Every inch of me responds to the knowledge and it is hard for me to resist the urge to rush to her. But she still needs time and space. It is driving me close to mad but I also know that it will be worth it. She is worth all the pain, frustration, and time. She is becoming mine, slowly, but it is happening.

"That looks and smells good," she says, forcing herself to act casual.

To save her, I play along. "Eat up. Today, we race."

Thankful for my discretion, she digs in and begins to lay out the pilot course. Rey pulls out a primitive and simplified map that the Council Chief has constructed for her. She points to the different locations as she suggests the race path: start at Lake Sui, towards the Death Star's shield generator, around the Imperial outpost, and the first one to reach Lake Marudi wins. I agree and we go outside for one final tuneup of the speeder bikes.

I swing my long leg around, straddling the bike. "May the Force be with you, Padawan, and may the best pilot win!"

She gets on her bike, flashes me a confident smile, and revs her bike. "May the Force be with you, Master... and I plan to."

An Ewok raises a stick with a piece of cloth and at the second the flags drops we race off simultaneously. Ewoks cheer at the sidelines as we fly past them and into the dense forest. The path is etched in my mind and I let the Force guide me as I weave through the terrain. Side by side, equal in speed and skill we stay. The bark of the redwood trees rips at my clothing as I dodge the trees as close as I can. The native species of Endor scatter in fear by the sound of our approach, clearing a safe path for us both. The massive remains of the shield generator comes into view and I rev my engines to get a small lead. Next to me, Rey follow suit, and we are tied once again.

We continue on towards the Imperial outpost, weaving and avoiding remains from the battle scattered throughout the woods. Rey excited laugh echoes over the rev of the engines and bounces against the tree trunks. Foolishly, wanting to see the joy on her face, I risk a quick glance at her and just then my left foot hits a metal debris. I spin out, nearly breaking off the tip of the speeder against a tree, and my bike stalls. Cursing, I watch as Rey races off while I struggle to get the bike started again. With an angry exhaust cloud, the engine spits back to life and I take off. I can barely see Rey now in front of me.

Then, I reach the Imperial outpost, take the turn, and we are at the final stretch. Whoever reaches Lake Marudi first wins. Knowing there is no other way, I close my eyes and put all my trust in the Force. My hands accelerate the speeder bike to full speed and all senses rely on the Force to guide the way. My eyes are closed but I sense each obstacle and my body automatically moves to avoid them all. Little by little, I gain on Rey until I have passed her. Shortly after, the woods thin out and the lake appears. I have won.

"Cheater," Rey growls and I laugh loudly, not even realizing at the time that this is the first time I have laughed in years. Rey is about to comment again on my winning, when she freezes. "Ben?" She says and I draw my saber.

Out of the trees, three Condor Dragons appears and I push Rey protectively behind me. Beautiful creatures with blue and golden skin, but very dangerous predators. Of course, not as deadly as me. I ignite my saber, and the red blade crackle and burn in anticipation. Unaware of the death that will follow, the dragon's advance and I take off each of their head with a single stroke. I am about to kill the energy beam when there is more movement in the trees. Preparing for another showdown I take an offensive stance, displaying my dominance, and out marches a group of Ewok hunters. My saber dies as does my adrenaline rush.

Rey runs to meet them and she once again picks up a conversation. "Ben, they're from the Bright Tree Village... I think. They want us to visit their home... I think."

I sigh. "Another visit with the Ewoks. Lets hope the food is as good," I grunt and obediently follow behind.

Turns out that dinner is condor dragon spinning on a spit over an open fire. While they cook, we are guided around. The village is made up of huts and interconnecting rope bridges built some fifteen feet above the ground in evergreen trees. Spiral staircases follow the curves of the trees and connects to the forest floor and the village huts below. The construction of the village is to protect the Ewoks from predators, like the dragons which they fear more than anything. Turns out that my killing of three dragons almost makes me a God to the Ewoks and at dinner I get treated as such.

After dinner, as the night settles, lanterns are lit in every hut and along all the rope bridges. It's truly a magical sight. Slowly, we walk the exterior of the tree village until we reach the secluded west end where we stop to watch the lights. The breeze picks up and I see a shiver travel through her. I move to block the wind and wrap my arms around her. Her breath catches. I can feel her mind processing and overthinking.

Gently, I grab her shoulders and spin her around. "Ben," she tries, but I won't have it.

"Rey, I'm already there. I'm waiting on you."

My fingers run along her cheek, down to her chin, and I lean in to place a kiss on her troubled forehead. As my lips touch her kiss there is tremble in the ground below. The trees begins to sway and terrified cries of Ewoks sound from the huts around us.

"There it is," I rejoice.

"It doesn't scare you?" She asks, so concerned over something so amazing.

"Rey, I can split mountains and divide oceans. I can steal any man's deepest and darkest secret. None of that even come close to this; the knowledge that I can affect you."

There is an ever bigger tremble felt and I know; she's mine.


	12. Chapter 12

Reviews. I love reviews. You like what you are reading. You have a comment. Let me know.

We are going to get more and more intimate and yes, I am really trying to stay with the character. It is hard with both of them as far as how they would act in love since we have not seen that in the movies, but I will do my best. Hope you like the new chapter

wiki/Endor

 **12\. REY**

I wake up, my body and mind feeling the effects of last night's condor dragon feast and Ben's words.

 _'Rey, I'm already there. I'm waiting on you.'_

Such a small step. All it would take is a kiss; his lips against mine. Why does it feel so big? Because being with him means choosing him over the Rebels, Chewie, and Finn? How would I explain? Do I need to explain? This is my choice... right? But the Force. My strength with the Force comes with responsibility. The balance must be kept. Yet, the Force did connect us. Why would it keep connecting us if we were not meant to be together?

As I step out of the sleeping chamber, Ben is nowhere to be found. New clothes awaits me on the command chair; hand-stitched Endor clothes in soft brown leather. A gift from the hospitable Ewoks. And there is yet again food waiting on a plate. Sweet redwood root porridge with fresh bordok milk, salted lake Sui fish, and forest berry muffins. Dressed in my new attire, the leather so fine one could think the Ewoks has soften it with their molars, I eat as I look out at Lake Sui. The morning sun is making the water glitter and sparkle. It's a beautiful sight. The water so clear and calm, not a...

Ben explodes out of the water from a dive and I nearly choke on my muffin. Dressed only in tight black shorts, his long lean body dripping with lake water, he strides onto the shore with a large struggling fish dragging behind him. I'm not the only one admiring the view. Ewoks of the female gender stop their daily chores to openly stare as Ben exit the lake. He swings the fish around, his strong arm flexing in the sun, and it lands heavily onto the shore. Casually, he shakes the water out of his black curls and my mouth drops open. With a thankful smile, totally unaware of the stir that he is causing, he catches a knife in midair thrown to him. Halfway up to the gasping fish, the ground tremble and he stops to look up at the ship. I nearly die of shame as he sees me and waves with a huge knowing grin. The Force is determined to sell me out each time a female urge hits. It's so incredibly annoying.

There is no avoiding and denying. Thankfully, Ben has always been gracious when it comes to my earthquakes. This time is no different. Still dressed in only his underwear, Ben barely acknowledges me as I approach. His skin is now mostly dry except for the occasional drop from his hair hitting his back and chest and traveling south. Shamelessly, why even bother trying to hide it , I follow the path of one water drop as it drips from a strand of hair, onto his bare chest, down the abs, and into the lining of the shorts.

"Do you want to help me?" Ben asks, disturbing my moment of appreciation.

The knife, covered in fish scales, blood, and guts, is extended to me. It is a test. He is judging my reaction and my decision. Smiling, amused, I take the blade and join him at the cutting tree stump. Meticulously, he wipes off his hands on a wet rag and then positions himself behind me. His arms reach around me, placing one hand on the one stabilizing the stump and the other one over the hand holding the knife.

"Like this," he says, and his instructions caress me all over. Our hands move together as we remove the skin of the fish and then cut the meat into fillets. "Long and steady cuts," he whispers and guides the knife as it slices. "That's it. Perfect."

"Ben?" I say and the movement of the knife stops. "Are you trying to cause a quake? The Ewoks really like their home. It don't think they want to live on the bottom of the lake."

Ben separates himself from me and his laughter follows all the way into the ship. He was trying to set me off. He is fully aware of the effect that he has on me and he is going to keep pushing me towards the edge. How much longer until I fall head first straight off the cliff and into him? Days... hours... minutes...?

With the help of several Ewok women, I manage to finish cutting up the fish into almost perfect strips. As they carry off the fish to their food storage, I go to the lake to wash off my hands. My reflection meets me as I walk up. I kneel at the water and scrutinize with criticizing eyes each feature. Am I beautiful or is my face too beaten by the Jakku climate? Is my body appealing or is it too muscular from years of hard labor? Are my hands too rough for touching, my skin too dry for touch, my breasts too small for a man with hands as large as...

"Ben!" I jump as his reflection appears in the water behind my shoulder. A single ripple from a small tremble has appeared at the center of the lake and is spreading towards the shore. "Don't scare me like that."

Ben gives the ripple a quick look but he doesn't comment on it. "You're a Jedi. Use the Force and nothing can sneak up on you."

We're back to Master and Padawan roles. It suits me perfectly. I rotate around, toes digging into the sand, and on my eye level is Ben's light saber hanging by his side. We have reached the point in the training when Ben is to sharpen my skill with the saber. Seems also the time has come to reveal what Maz has entrusted me. I go back into the ship to collect the light saber that was given to me on Takodana. The light saber which was meant for Anakin Skywalker as a gift from his wife, but he was seduced by the Dark Side before she could give it to him. Shortly after, she died and the secret of the gift nearly died with her, if it hadn't been for the Pirate Queen.

We take off on our speeder bikes. We are not racing this time. I stay behind Ben and let him lead the way. The light saber is still hidden from view. I'm rehearsing what to say to Ben. I'm not handing it over yet. His the saber may be by birth right but just like Darth Vader didn't deserve it, neither does Kylo Ren. Until Kylo is no more, the saber will remain mine.

We are back at the Death Star's Shield Generator location. Last time, we only raced past it. This time we park our bikes, scout the area, and will be using the site for training. Even though, the generator was destroyed at the Battle of Endor, the facility itself look mostly intact. Over the years, nature has reclaimed the terrain. Wines and other native flora grow through the walls and the roof.

"This was an Imperial military installation during the Galactic Civil War. The facility over there..." Ben says and points. "...it housed the generator that powered the SLD-26 planetary shield generator protecting the Death Star II."

I roll my eyes at him and his unnecessary history lesson. "Ben, of course I know this place. This is where the Dark Side got their backside spanked by the Rebellion."

Ben is not impressed with my wit. "Really, Rey?" He pulls his saber, ignite it, and look at its deadly red light with sly fixation. He turns the saber at me. "Looks like it's the Rebellion who will get spanked today."

With an equal sly grin, I pull out the saber I've kept hidden. I ignite it. Its red glow shines almost as brightly as Ben's. In a stance of attack, I raise the saber over my head. Ben frowns, his confusion and curiosity obvious as his eyes scans every detail of the saber. Does he recognize the style? Does he realize who the saber was meant for? Does he realize that by rules of bloodline and family ties, the saber is actually his?

"Where did you get that?" He asks, kills the beam on his saber, and walks up to me.

"Maz Kanata gave it to me."

I place the saber in his out-reached hand and he turns it over, studying it with evident fascination. "The Pirate Queen again," he smirks, with clear dislike in his tone. He tests the saber and moves it with a grace I hope to one day possess. "And from who did she steal it?"

"How she came to have it, she didn't say. But she told me its story and who it belongs to. He's lost but I hope to find him soon."

Not showing any reaction to my words, Ben stops, ends the beam, and hands the saber back to me. "Training starts now, Padawan."

Talking is over. "Yes, Master Solo."

We practice all day. Ben openly shares all his knowledge and skill. He patiently watches, guides, and corrects until the saber is like an extension of my arm and mind. Satisfied, he nods, deeming me ready. He ignites his and I know what is to come. Ben will test what I have learned. I defeated him once, in the forest on Starkiller Base. Since then I have realized the truth; Ben was injured, his mind unbalanced from killing his father, and he allowed me to beat him. Even then, before the connection, he would not kill me. He wanted to be my teacher... maybe more.

He won't go as easy on me this time. I can tell by the determination on his face. Set in stone it is. His dark eyes focused only on me and his body preparing for a fight. I see a twitch underneath his eye and I know that I am in for a tough battle. Shit, he can be intense and scary sometimes.

He raises his hands to eye level and peers at me over the glow of his saber. "Begin!"

I swing at him first and he counters me easily. One after the other, I test each of the new skills that I have perfected. They are all his moves, so he meets them without much effort. I am tiring out fast, my adrenaline rushing through my circuits, while Ben hardly looks faced by my attacks. Then, it changes and he begins to advance and I have to go into defense mode. He comes at me mercilessly and I am forced to keep backing up. Debris from the Battle are scattered around, causing me to trip and fumble.

I retreat until I can no longer, my back up against the outer wall of the generator facility complex, and our sabers lock into a cross before us. Ben pushes down, my saber but a few inches from my face. It is as if we are recreating our battle on Starkiller Base, when Ben had me in the same position at the edge of the chasm. Only this time, I won't be able to get away. His strength is too great and he is not holding back. My arms shake with exhaustion as I struggle from keeping the saber cross from burning my skin. Ben's eyes glow, his mouth set in a hard line, and fear runs through me.

Before I can prevent it, tears build at my eyes and run down my face, mixing with the sweat. Ben's whole stance changes immediately; his face soften with worry and he backs off. With his saber no longer locked with mine, I let my saber fall to the ground and so do I in pure fatigue. My entire body is shaking. My heart rate and breathing as frantic as my mind.

Ben kneels down and seeing his remorse only makes it worse. "Rey, forgive me. I wanted you stronger. Strong enough so that no one can hurt you... not even me."

Ben pulls me to him and I cling to him as he does me. Then I feel it, the wetness of his tears against my shoulder and the shaking of his body as he cries. My tears end as his flow faster and harder. The mighty Kylo Ren, in tears, grasping at me with desperation.

"I can't lose you, Rey."

"You won't," I try to comfort and assure, but he is too far in to stop. I let him cry as hard and as long as he needs to and wait to speak until he is ready. "Ben, what did you mean by ... not even me?"

Ashamed, his eyes and face wet from tears, he won't look at me but instead he keeps his eyes on the ground. "You don't know the Dark Side like I do, Rey. You haven't seen and felt what it can do to you. It twists your mind and your heart. It takes your greatest fears and use them against you." He stops, the pain and struggle tearing at him. "I fear losing you, Rey. It's my greatest fear and therefore my greatest weakness. And the Dark Side will try to use this against me, against us."

It all becomes clear; why he is pushing my training so hard. The stronger I become, the less chance that something might hurt me.

"You're not your grandfather, Ben. You will not make the same mistake."

At this, Ben turns his eyes to me. "You know the story?" I nod and Ben mimics the motion slowly and thoughtfully as he recalls the tragic love story of his grandparents. "They say he killed her, the only person he ever loved beside his own mother. He killed her in a moment of uncontrolled rage. It was the Dark Side. It poisoned his mind. Used his fear of losing the woman he loved against him. It promised him powers, strong enough to save someone from dying. The Dark Side tricked him. It gave him unparalleled powers, but it cost him his wife and his children."

Defeated, feeling the weight of it all, Ben sits down against the complex and bangs his head backwards into the stone wall. Anger plagues his face as he thinks back. "I wanted to have what he had; to be as strong with the Force and as powerful within the First Order. I wanted to finish what he started. I believed it to be my Legacy. I was such a fool. I never saw past the mask. I never saw the man underneath; Anakin Skywalker. It wasn't until I met you, that I realized that he would have given it all up, if it meant he could have her back."

His words wash over me; chilling and heating at the same time. All restraints vanish as if they were never there and I climb into Ben's lap, straddling him with my legs. My lips are on his, my hands in his hair, and the softness of my breasts against his lean hardness. I taste his lips, using every version of a kiss I can think of, and his hands slides down to grab my backside. A moan, or many, escape as he receives and returns my feverish attack with equal hunger. His lips leave mine and travels down my neck, making me arch my back with pleasure. We have waited too long and now we may never be able to stop. Not that it matters because right now and right here, nothing else is, but this and us.

 **12\. KYLO REN**

We've been training all day. I try to pour all that I have into her; all my knowledge of the Force and all my skill as a user. I need her to be strong and able. It's the only way. I can't lose her.

I start off by going easy on her, letting her test out each skill and all I do is counter. Then, I begin to engage, advance, and attack. I press and push, making her back up. She nearly falls, tripping on obstacles as she retreats, and my heart tells me to let up. But my mind wields the saber and it says to continue because pushing her will make her stronger. So I slam into her until her back is up against the wall of the complex. There is nowhere left for her to run. Arms up high, shaking with fatigue, she struggle to hold me off. Her eyes, as big and frantic as on Starkiller Base, looks up at me and I stare back urging her to fight.

Then those eyes fill with tears and I am now the one who stumbles backwards. I go ice cold as I watch her collapse to the ground. I pushed too hard, too far, and have caused her pain. It is true. I am a Monster.

"Rey, forgive me. I wanted you stronger. Strong enough so that no one can hurt you... not even me."

I pull her to me, needing her close, and the moment I do it happens. It leaves me as shocked as her. Even though sadness has been my companion for years, always lingering on the surface, keeping smiles, laughter, and joy a bay, tears have never come. My feeling were too buried and there was too much hate for tears. Until now. Until her.

"I can't lose you, Rey." The words burn at my throat as I cry.

"You won't."

I cling to her, needing her so desperately. All my life I have waited for her and now I am terrified of losing her. I can't go back to what I once was, what my life once was. To keep her, I will do anything.

"Ben, what did you mean by ... not even me?"

With my head bowed in shame, I tell her. I tell her about the Dark Side and how it can twist a man. Make him do things he never thought himself capable of. I tell her about my fear and how the Dark side will try and use this to their gain.

"You're not your grandfather, Ben. You will not make the same mistake."

I pick up my head. "You know the story?" I ask, surprised but relieved that she knows my family and its dark past.

She nods and so do I. As I tell her of my grandparents, about Anakin Skywalker and how the Dark Side took everything from him, Rey listens intrigued. She has heard it before. From where, I do not know. Possibly the Pirate Queen. I'm thankful. The more aware she is, the better she can help me prevent it. I want a different fate for us.

Feeling so defeated and tired, I lean against the complex and rock my head backwards. As my head hits the stone wall, the pain explodes through my skull. The pain feels good. It's waking me up. Making me see all things clearer.

"It wasn't until I met you, that I realized that he would have given it all up, if it meant he could have her back."

I have barely said the last words and Rey is in my lap. I feel her lips on mine but my mind has a hard time believing. Rey is kissing me, really kissing me. Her hands are knotted in my hair, her breasts pressing hard against me, and her kisses are full of need. I respond, all of me respond. I return her kisses and my large hands cup the perfect roundness of her bottom. I hear her moan, moan because of my touch, and it eggs me on. My mouth, wanting to taste more than just her lips, moves down her neck and her cleavage. She leans backwards, giving me better access and I take full advantage.

Then the ground begins to shake below us and the complex over our heads crumble by the vibrations. Small rocks of foundation fall at our heads and we separate. Moved to a safer place we stand panting while silently watching each other. Neither of us speak. Words is not important. We both know what has taken place and what it means. There is no turning back now. We are forever linked, not just by the Force, but also by our physical need for one another. She is mine just as much as I am hers.

"Is this ever going to stop?" She asks, meaning her turbulent feelings for me which effects her connection with the Force.

I walk up to her, kiss her softly on the lips, loving every shake and rumble. "I hope not." I smile widely at her concern. I grab her hand and we make our way back to the bikes. "Time to go back. This will be our last night on Endor."

"Our last night? We leave tomorrow? For where?"

"You'll see," I grin and she elbows me in the side.

Rey is able to communicate to the Ewok council that we leave tomorrow. Word is sent to Bright Tree Village and a huge feast is arranged by all the Ewoks. The whole lake area is lit and long tables full of food are set up. I never would have guessed that these fussy creatures could be such amazing hosts. But I supposed it all has to do with Rey and the change in me. Before her, if I had come here, I would have come as Kylo Ren of the First Order and perhaps I would have killed them all. I would have seen Endor as a useless planet inhabited by a primitive and inferior population. I would have destroyed it all and never thought of it again. I was certainly a Monster.

All night, we eat and laugh. Rey never leaves my side. Her touch is a constant; her hand in mine, her fingertips on my arm, her leg brushing against my leg. Or perhaps it is my touch that is a constant. Our intimate moment has stirred me and it's impossible not to linger on the memory. It's impossible not to want more.

Long after the sun has set, fires keeping the bugs away, we say our good byes. We are each given a gift. Rey is gifted 3 hair ties made of leather straps and condor dragon claws. I am gifted a knife made from boar-wolf teeth, similar to the one I gutted the fish with. Rey cries as we depart to the ship. I have cried enough to last me for a long while, perhaps for life. Good byes are a necessity for new beginnings to be possible and I are ready to move on to our next destination. It is a place that I have wanted to see all my life. A place full of history and stories. To finally see it and see it with Rey.

Rey walks into the bed chamber and I follow right behind her. "Ben..."

"Sleep. That's it." I mean it, but she doesn't look too convinced. "Trust me."

She signals a reluctant agreement and gets into bed. She's wearing the night dress in black silk that I gave her on Jakku. I have a sleep suit on in the same material, but I always only sleep in the bottoms. I pull the top off over my head and Rey's eyes get bigger.

"I always sleep bare chested," I explain and get into bed on the other side, leaving a safe zone between us.

"Of course you do," she mutters from her end. A tense silence settles and then she slides in, her head on my chest, and I fold my arm around her. "Ben, where are we going tomorrow? And don't say you'll see!"

I had hoped to make it a surprise but since she is asking. "Naboo."

Rey gets up on her elbow so she can see me better. "Naboo? Your grandmother Senator Amidala's home planet?"

I nod. "Yes. I have never seen Naboo but I hear it is one of the most beautiful places in the Galax. Our family still owns property on Naboo, including a Lake District estate. This is where we will be staying." I raise up on my elbow, as well. "Rey, Naboo is under First Order control. While there, I will have to be Kylo Ren."

She takes a few seconds to process. "I understand."

There is more. "You will not be able to be a Rebel fighter. You will have to be my companion, my woman, and most importantly for your safety, you have to be a Force Order sympathizer."

Again a few seconds. "I understand."

I smile, much relieved. "Good. Now get your rest. You're taking the pilot seat tomorrow and I'll be your copilot."

With a huge smile, she settles back on my chest and I place my arm once again around her. Soon, sleep has us both. It has been an exhausting day with saber training, saber fight, tears, and first kiss. A day to remember for several reasons.

I wake up the next day by the sound of the shower running. I slept fantastic. I didn't wake up once all night and there were no nightmares haunting me. I feel refreshed and ready. Endor has been good, but I have a feeling that Naboo will be even better.

After breakfast and now dressed in our appropriate First Order attire, we say our final good byes. With the speeder bikes loaded and Rey at the controls, we lift off. It's on to our next destination and planet. The Naboo system is in the Mid Rim region in the Chommell sector. Rey will need to enter hyper space.

"To engage the warp vortex stabilizer you must..."

You interrupts me and rolls her eyes. "Ben, I've been a pilot since I was 8."

"OK," I surrender and sit back into the copilot seat. Then under my breath I mumble; "I was 6."

The hyperspeed entry is textbook and so is the exit. Could be the ship, the pilot, or both. From a distance, from space, Planet Naboo glows in green. The green is not like Endor. Endor's green came from its numbers of massive trees. Naboo is more of an aqua green in color because of its huge plains, grassy hills, and swampy lakes. Unlike most planets, it does not have a molten core but instead consist of groups of large rocky bodies. It is said that the center has giant sea beasts residing in the tunnels. Even the Gungans, one of Naboo's species whom has made the waters their home, do not risk entering the labyrinths of the deep.

Rey takes us in closer, breaks through the breathable atmosphere, and enter a new beautiful world. "Wow," utters Rey and I agree fully. "It's like something out of fairytale. I didn't think a place like this existed."

Stretched out in front of us are fields of tall grass swaying in the breeze, tall waterfalls crashing into pools and rivers, mossy flowering swamps with aqua green waters, traquil lakes, and herds of shaaks peacefully grazing. I point into the distance where the human capital Theed is barely visible. But Theed is for another day. Today, we go to the Lake Country and my family estate Varykino.

Rey lands my ship smoothly and almost as perfectly as I would have. On the platform, the welcoming committee awaits: the head butler with his staff. They were all hand picked by Supreme Leader Snoke and are faithful servants to the First Order. While I have never been here, Snoke visited this area quite often. The lake country is isolated and protected by mountain ranges. It's waters is the only on the planet shut off from the underground waterways and therefore safe from the risk of large predators. It is truly a paradise.

"Lord Ren, this is an honor. Welcome to Naboo," Head Butler greets.

"Is everything prepared?"

"Of course, My Lord. Just as you instructed. Please, let me show you and your Lady to your chambers."

Rey mouths. "Lady?" And points at herself.

I nod and she laughs silently. From Scavenger, to Rebel, to a Lady of the First Order. Not sure in what order she would rank those titles.

We are escorted to the main sleeping chamber which is four times the size of any normal room. The room is very light and the décor is non First Order with white and lace. It strikes me that nothing as been changed since the day of Senator Amidala. It is as if time has stopped here.

Rey walks into the bathroom to change into something not so black she says and I wander out onto the large balcony overlooking the lake. "This estate was my grandmother's; Padme Naberrie," I call out, not sure if she can hear me.

"This is where she spent her summers as a child and before she became Queen Amidala. You can swim all the way to that island without fear of an underwater attack. We should do that tomorrow."

Her voice from somewhere behind me. "Ben, I was raised on Jakku where it only rains by the drops. I don't know how to swim."

Blissfully, I sigh. "Another thing your Master will have to teach you." Memories of stories flood as I stand at the railing of the balcony. "This is where Senator Amidala and Anakin Skywalker fell in love. This is where they were married. This is probably also were my mother and uncle were conceived."

With a smug smile I turn to look at her but it fades quickly. Before me stands Rey, not the scavenger, or the rebel, or even the First Order lady, but a woman as beautiful as a Queen. Her gown, of soft yellow and pink, held up by only a silver neck ornament and leaving her shoulder and back naked, strips me of words. Like a gaping fool, I watch as she nears me and stands by me at the railing. I run my fingers over the bare skin of her back, so smooth and soft.

As I lean in for a kiss, and I feel the love flow between us, it all seems so familiar. It is as if history is repeating itself.


	13. Chapter 13

Sorry this chapter took alittle longer. It is very important to me to stay true to the characters and to make sure that the interactions feels natural and not cheesy or cliche.  
Let me know what you you Tracy137 and ToughSpirits for the reviews. I only write happy endings so no worries. There will be bumps and twists but I don't do tragic. Hope you like this new chapter  
Thanks, B  
wiki/Naboo

 **13\. REY**

Like many others, I have heard stirring stories about Naboo. Not just because of the Naboo crisis that was fought here, when the human Naboos and the amphibian Gungan species joined forces against the Trade Federation, but because of its unmatched natural beauty.

Full of excited anticipation, I pilot Ben's Upsilon-command shuttle into the breathable atmosphere and there it is. "Wow," I hear myself say. The sight is like a mirage, so perfect and beautiful that it is hard for the mind to be convinced that it is real. "It's like something out of storybook, a fairytale."

All planets have a certain beauty, even Jakku with its sand hills and starship graveyards, but this place is something beyond all else. Everything is breathtaking; its different water sources, grassy hills and fields, grazing wild life, and architecture.

Ben points towards the human capital Theed which I can barely make out and tells me that he will take me soon but not today. Today, we head south to the planet's most isolated area; the Lake Country. Ben's family estate, Varykino, is located on a small private island also named Varykino. This is where his grandmother Amidala spent her summer as a child and where she escaped the stress of politics as an adult.

Varykino is a lake retreat, made up of domeshaped and ceramic tile covered roofs, slithering greenery covering the exterior walls, and large verandas overlooking the serene lake. And the lake is indeed serene. The large creatures of the underwater caves and tunnel do not dwell here for the lakes are sealed off.

I set the ship down and my nerves begin to get the better of me as I spy the estate and its loyal caretakers. They are all of the First Order and here I have to act loyal as well. Stealing a glance at Ben, I can see that his persona has altered. He stands straighter, his hands again in fists, and his face hard and emotionless. I try to capture his gaze, but his dark eyes are set on the man on the platform.

"Lord Ren, this is an honor," the man flatters and bows dramatically. "Welcome to Naboo."

No smile, no emotions in the reply. "Is everything prepared?"

"Of course, My Lord. Just as you instructed. Please, let me show you and your Lady to your chambers."

Finally, I am given a glance and I point to myself, questioning with a silent laugh the man's choice of word. "Lady?" A simple nod is given back and I am far from satisfied for I have gotten used to his smiles, laughs, and touch.

We are led inside and all thoughts vanish as the splendor of the estate hits me. The lower level of the estate holds the communal rooms and the upper level holds several private apartments. I only get a quick glimpse of the lower part as we head upstairs and to our section of the house. I have no doubt that it is Senator Amidala's former rooms we are led to.

The apartment is massive with a sitting room, bathroom, and sleeping chamber. The décor is very romantic and feminine, like I imagine that she was. I look down at my attire in black and I feel as if I am dishonoring her memory and this beautiful place. Maz gave me the clothes for a reason. Was this the reason? To wear them at this place, at this time, and with Ben? Did Maz know that I would find myself here? If so, how did she know? What is Maz, truly?

I pull out a soft pink and yellow flowing dress with silver jewelry details. Holding it up in front of me, I eye the reflection with a trouble frown. It is revealing, sexy, and so not me. Do I dare to? How will Ben react? Will he see it as an invitation to advance our relationship? Or, will he become angry due to the previous owner of the dress? What right do I have to wear it?

Before my mind spins anymore, I slither into the contraption of a dress. "This estate was my grandmother's, Padme Naberrie." His voice carries through an open window from outside and the sound of it calms me. "This is where she spent her summers as a child and before she became Queen Amidala. You can swim all the way to that island without fear of an underwater attack. We should do that tomorrow."

I grin and reply as I walk out towards the balcony. "Ben, I was raised on Jakku where it only rains by the drops . I don't know how to swim."

He sighs, as if heavily weighed by having to teach me something else. I know better. I know he loves teaching me and being the Master.

"Another thing your Master will have to teach you." Standing behind him, dressed in his grandmother's dress, I watch as he scans the patio overlooking the lake and mountains. "This is where Senator Amidala and Anakin Skywalker fell in love. This is where they were married. This is probably also were my mother and uncle were conceived."

I flush and heat despite the cool lake air blowing across my exposed skin. Then he turns to see me and I hold my breath awaiting his reaction. When he simply stares, frozen and without words, I dare to approach and join him at the balcony rail. I tremble as he runs his fingers slowly down the curve of my naked back and as his lips find mine.

"You look beautiful", he says.

He leans in for another kiss and I reach to meet him. A loud crash is heard behind us and both our heads turn towards it. It's the Head Butler. At his feet, a tray lays upside down with broken porcelain scattered about on the stone floor. His face is shocked by disbelief.

"Come," he says and waves to me. Worried, realizing his station, he bows to Ben and adds. "With your permission, My Lord. Come, My Lady. I must show you."

Curious at his reaction and behavior, I follow the man through the house and down to the bottom first level. My dress flows regally and seductively behind me as I walk. I have never felt more feminine. I can feel Ben's eyes burning at my back, only adding to my female inner surge. The dress was a good idea. Thank you, Maz.

We have entered the grand hall. Large frames with exquisite artwork cover the walls. Elegant upholstered furnishing of the finest quality are functionally placed about the room. And at the far end down to the left is a massive wood fire place with a white Wampa fur rug placed below it. This is where we are led and the Head Butler points up to the art hanging above the mantle.

"See?" He says and points. I gasp at the sight. "Where did you get this dress, My Lady? It has not been seen for over 40 years. It was stolen, as were many of her other gowns, from a transport ship by a Pirate raid. We believed it all lost."

The painting is of Senator Amidala, in this very dress I am wearing, standing at the railing overlooking the lake and the small island ahead. At her side is Anakin Skywalker, dressed in typical Jedi attire, and his gaze is solely focused on her. The painter has not only perfectly captured the lightness of the dress, the serene beauty of the landscape, but also the moment of affection between the two. When was this painted? Did the painter know of their forbidden love? He or she must have based on the art.

Ben clears his throat next to me and I am forced to pull my attention from the painting. "I was going to tell you, Be... Lord Ren."

"Then tell me..." He looks over at the Butler and gives a nod and a wave. "... over lunch. Seems as if we have an intriguing topic."

Lunch is served on the lower deck veranda. Ben waits until all the food and sparkling water is served. The Head Butler remains at hearing range and Ben doesn't seem to mind.

"Let me formally introduce you. Lady Rey, Head Butler Paas Accu, son of Paddy Accu. His family has been caretakers of this estate for generations. Anything you want to know about Varykino, Naboo, or the Naberrie family, he is the one to ask."

Ben is giving me permission to pry into his family's affairs. I will take him up on the offer, later. As for now, they are both expecting me to share.

In preparation, I take a sip of the colored sparkling water and the sweet taste of ripe berries wet my cords. "Before I left Takodana, Pirate Queen Maz Kanata gave me a bundle of clothing. I never looked at them until today, but I knew to whom they once belonged. I know not how she came to have them or why she gave them to me." I seek Ben's eyes. He gives no clue as to what he is thinking or feeling. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Are you angry with me?"

Worry washes over as he remains quiet. Paas Accu, satisfied with my answer, quietly backs into the house through the large patio doors and we are alone. Casually, Ben uses the Force to pull a single white long stem rose from a nearby urn. I follow its path as it floats through the air and lands across my plate.

Ben answers as I pick up the rose. "Angry?" He smiles and shakes his head, his dark eyes shining with humor. "I feel many things for you, Rey, but never anger. Not even in the beginning. Not even for this," he says and taps the scar above his eye. He picks up his glass once again and assess me over its rim. "Did I tell you how beautiful you look?"

I blush, by his appreciating gaze and the caress of his words. "Yes, you did."

"Maz Kanata... first the saber and now this. What other treasures of my family is she hiding? We might have to visit her and her castle keep on Takodana one day soon."

Guilt swells, chilling me. "Ben..." I say softly like a pleading whisper. "... there's something else." He sets down the glass and waits for my confession and reveal. I clear my throat. "The saber, the new one in my possession, it is also of your family. It was supposed to be a gift from Amidala to Anakin. Before she could give it to him, he turned to the Dark Side and she died."

The sound of birds singing, the swell of the lake, and the breeze moving through the trees as he listens and processes. Then without a response, he rises from his chair, offers me his hand, and I take it. He leads me down the stairs to the lake shore below and he begins to remove his clothing.

"Ben, what are you doing?"

"I am going for a swim. I need some time to think." Dressed in only his black undershorts, he easily picks me up and holds me to his chest. "Don't worry, Padawan, I won't be gone long. Tomorrow, swim lessons, so we can swim together." He puts me down and wades out into the lake. Then just before diving in, he turns and finally gives me a reply. "And you can keep the saber. My gift to you. My grandmother would have approved."

He dives in and disappears. Not until some 20 meters out does he resurface. With long powerful strokes he moves towards the small island across the lake. I watch until I can't make him out anymore and I head back inside in search of Paas Accu. I find him in the kitchen, where he is already making preparations for dinner. Everything looks and smells heavily. The kitchen décor is in terracotta and color schemed mosaic tile art. The large rustic wood island is covered in bowls and cutting boards full of vegetables and fruits of all variations, some that I have never seen before.

Paas tosses me a small round fruit with a deep purple skin. "Fruit from the Cambylictus tree. They only grow in the swamps region of Naboo and only carry a few fruits per tree. Try it, My Lady."

I bite into it and the sweetness of its yellow flesh explodes. "It's delicious. Thank you. Can I help with something?" He looks around nervously, probably scanning for Ben, the feared Leader of the First Order. "Please," I ask.

I am handed an apron in white fabric and lace, a wooden cutting board, and a knife. Vegetable after vegetable is cut up while I ask question after question. "What was Senator Amidala like? What was Anakin like before he became a Sith Lord? Was there any indication that he would join the Dark Side? Did you realize that they were falling in love? Did you ever see Anakin practice with his light saber? Were you present at their wedding ceremony? Were they happy about the babies? Why did their love fail?.."

I overload the poor man with questions and he patiently answers each one to his ability until the sound of wet steps against tile floor echo behind us. There stands Ben, dripping with water and with his clothes thrown over his shoulder. One of the kitchen girls drops her basket of fruit and they all come rolling down towards me. Another girl leans her head down to the side as he walks away. Watching both of their reactions to Ben causes an emotion to swell which I have never felt before. Could it be? Could I be jealous?

I continue to mull over the question and the emotion over dinner. Even later as we curl into bed, and Ben wraps his arm around me and I lay my head on his chest, I visualize the girls faces in front of me and anger builds. Fear replaces the anger as I realize that a Darkness had begun to build inside of me. For a split second, I had imagining causing them harm. What is happening to me? Am I turning from the light and to the Dark?

Then. "I'm sorry," Ben says into the darkness. Only the light from the moon shines into the room and provides a bit of sight.

"For what?" I ask confused for it is my thoughts that need forgiveness.

"I should have stopped him sooner. Snoke. I can still hear your screaming in my head and see your body fall to the floor. I should have killed him sooner, before he hurt you." His lips presses to the top of my head and he holds them there until he speaks again. "And what I said to you, hurtful and inexcusable things. I wanted you broken so that I could put back the pieces. I thought it was the only way for you to become mine. Forgive me."

There is nothing to forgive. "I was already broken when we met, Ben. We both were. Now, we can put back the pieces... together."

His lips find mine in the darkness. At first the kiss is soft and sweet, two lips meeting in a tender moment. Then, as the want, need, and urge builds, the kiss deepens. Our lips open and there is a rush when our tongues touch tips. I move on top of him, wanting to feel him, and he sits up to meet me. My hands into his hair and his hands traveling up my back under my shirt. As I feel him grow hard underneath me, I press down making him squirm and moan. I pull off my shirt, wanting to feel his skin against mine and his hands move from the back to cup around my breasts. He begins to play with them; feeling, pulling, nipping, and I lose it. The bed and walls begin to shake.

The kiss cease, the hands drop, and the moment is over.

Anger boils as the sexual frustration still rages through me and I move off of Ben to my side of the bed. "STOP!" I yell, to the small tremor still lingering, making a Soo bird take flight from a nearby tree.

Ben sighs heavily and when he speaks his voice is not its normal steady. "I love your shakes and trembles, but they are getting in the way of us. If you were to start a quake here, on Naboo, it might shift the underwater tunnels. You could kill thousands, maybe more. It wouldn't bother me too much, but I know it would you." He runs a hand over my hair, not in a sexual way , but comforting and supportive. Yet, it is clear that he is equally frustrated. "No swimming lessons tomorrow. Tomorrow we work on your control." He sighs again and lays back down. "Lets sleep. Or at least try to sleep."

Sleep doesn't come fast or easy, but when it finally does, I don't wake up until morning. From the bundle, I select a pale blue midriff dress with wide sleeves and small cape. I am to practice control today. Control over the Force? What this entails and what attire would be appropriate, I do not know.

I find Ben outside on the lower veranda. The table is set with breakfast but is yet to be enjoyed. Ben is practicing with his saber, bare feet and bare chested, in black linen pants tied loose at the waist. I lean against one of the white marble pillars and watch the man that I can call mine. I watch every turn, every spin, every counter, every strike, and every slash. For a man his size, height and muscular composition, he moves with beautiful ease and grace.

He senses my presence and halts his movement. "Good, you are up. Lets eat."

We eat fast and with purpose, eager to get started. Ben leads me to the far end of the veranda, facing the east side of the lake. No one is around. The place is all ours. I feel a stir from the unknowing.

Ben pulls a small black piece of cloth out of his pocket and holds it up to me. "A blindfold? Really, Ben?"

"Do you trust me?"

No hesitation. No pause. "Yes."

"Good. Lets begin," he says as the blindfold is put in place and darkness enters .

 **13\. KYLO REN**

I feel her eyes on me. I pretend to not notice. Without a moment of pause, I continue to practice but with her watching I strike harder, block better, and move faster, all while keeping my muscles tight and flexed. She has turned me into a vain and conscious creature.

Last night still rages through me. I didn't want to stop. I wanted to say 'To Hell with It All' but I couldn't because of her. If she was to make Naboo shake, causing the underwater tunnels to collapse, it would release the sea beasts. Creatures such as the Opee sea killer and the Sando aqua monster would be able to access all connecting waters killing all they came across. A quake might also cause the hydrostatic force-fields of the Gungan cities to rupture, resulting in thousands of deaths. Rey would be devastated. I couldn't let that happen.

I kill the energy beam and lower my saber. "Good, you are up. Lets eat."

After breakfast, I take her to the east end of the veranda. We won't be disturbed here. I pull the blindfold from my pocket and seek her agreement.

"A blindfold? Really, Ben?"

"Do you trust me?" I ask, a charged question which I never would have dared to ask a few weeks ago.

An immediate reply. "Yes."

I hide my exploding happiness. "Good. Lets begin."

I place the blindfold over her eyes, tie it securely, and then take a few steps back. She is wearing a light blue ankle length skirt with a long wide sleeved cropped top which is leaving her flat and muscular stomach exposed. Her hair is tied back using the 3 hair ties given to her by the Ewoks on Endor. I move up to her and a small gasp is heard as my fingers remove the ties to let her hair flow.

"Ben," she whispers, nervously. "What are you going to do?"

"I am going to teach you control. You are letting your feelings and physcial reactions effect the Force around you. This is very dangerous, Rey, especially because of what I have planned for us."

Another small gasp of air and I see the muscles in her abs contract.

"Rey, I am going to touch you. When I do, don't let the changes inside of you affect anything on the outside. Control it. Keep it inside; your emotions, your wants, your needs."

"Ben, it's you. You've always had this effect on me. Ever since the beginning. You maginify my connection with the Force. Especially when you touch me."

Now it's I who gasp. To hear her say it. Her, who I have wanted before we even met.

"Just try. Please," I manage to say.

I move the cape to the side and my fingertips reach for her naked skin, that seductive spot where the back curves into the hip. She squirms and I hold, my fingers frozen in place. When safe, I take a step in and place my hands on each side of her hips and place a soft kiss on her neck. I stay here, and wait. Let her get used to my closeness, the touch of my hands, and the feel of my lips. Her breath is shallow and elevated, but there is no tremble in the ground below.

"Good," I whisper and step away.

Slowly I walk around her while my fingers slide down her shoulder, across her back, and along her arm to her oblique. Her muscles tighten at my touch and her breathing hitch. I watch as her abs quiver when my fingers move across her stomach and trace the lining of her skirt. Her hands start to search for me and I move out of their reach.

"Hands at your side. No touching until you are ready."

Disappointment on her face but she lower her arms and lock them by her side. I step in again, get as close as I can without our bodies touching, and I hold. A frown between her eyes, her lips separating, and her hands grasping at the fabric of her skirt, while she waits for my next move. I don't let her wait long.

I tilt her face up towards me and kiss her once softly then pull away. Her lips perk, wanting more. So, I kiss her again, this time longer and with more desire. I pull away and the frown reappears on her face. I am making her mad. I grip her by the curve of her back side and pull her to me, and then I kiss. I kiss her the way I always to, the way that shows what I feel for her, the way that shows my need and want for her. Our lips open and our tongues meet, and there is a shiver in the ground below.

I remove myself and she voices her frustration. "Control it," I urge and she nods so I step in again.

Her hands is gripping the side of her skirt with such fierceness that her knuckles are turning white. There is a tremble throughout her body which is fine. I want her trembling, as long as the ground does not. My long fingers run along her skin, following the tremble down the side of her face and down her neck. The ground stay still. I retrace the path with my lips, all the way down to the crease of her breasts. The ground stays still. Satisfied, I pick her up in my arms and carry her over to the railing.

"Don't lean back," I urge her.

All the way from the bottom, I begin to roll up the fabric of the skirt until the skirt is collected at the top of her thighs. I open up her knees and step in between her legs making her tremble a gasp. She sways, a moment of instability of mind and body, and her hands automatically moves to hold onto me. There is no tremor so I allow it. I cup her face, my long fingers into her hair, and then I finish the kiss that was interrupted. She returns my heat. Her hands moves to my gluteus and pulls me into her. Deeper, harder, and more... yet the ground remains steady.

In the distance, somewhere down the veranda, a voice carries. "My Lord... My Lord... Pardon me, My Lord."

While still in the kiss, I untie the blindfold, and it falls to the rocks on the lake shore below the railing. She pulls me to her even tighter, grinding me to her, and the need for her pulsates and aches.

"My Lord... My Lord."

I feel her lips change into a laughing smile and mine do the same, halting our kiss. Her tight grip on me loosen and then her hands completely lets go. I release her face and step back to help her off the railing. The training session is over. It has not only been a success but also highly enjoyable.

Paas Accu comes around the corner just as Rey rolls down her skirt to her ankles and it is clear that there is some kind of urgency. "My Lord, please forgive my intrusion. You have been invited to the Theed Royal Palace by the High security council. They have heard of your presence on Naboo and would be most honored if their Supreme Leader would dine with them."

"Of course," I reply and see the worry on Rey. "Send word. My Lady will join me." Rey shakes her head frantically, doubting herself, but I know she is up for the task.

"Ben, are you sure?" She calls from the dressing room as we get ready.

"Where you go, I go. Where I go, you go. There will be no secrets between us. Secrets and distance can pull us apart. I can't allow that."

Silence, nothing but the sound of fabric rustling and buckles snapping and then. "Very well, Supreme Leader Ren of the First Order. I will go."

She walks out and I am barely able to register her words due to the sight of her. The dress yesterday was romantic and beautiful, even seductive with its bare shoulders and back. The dress this morning was pleasing to the eye and my touch with her midriff left exposed. But this dress, this black tight creation is the maker of savage primitive male fantasies. Every feminine curve is hugged, her bosom pushed high with a leather bustier, and her muscular slender arms dressed in long leather gloves. She is breathtaking, she is stirring, and I want to say the Hell with the High security council.

"Too much?" She asks nervously and peers down her body, over her lifted rounded breasts.

I want to touch her but I know if I do we will never leave this room. "For them, yes. They are not worthy of you."

To Theed, the capital city of the humans on Naboo, is where we depart in the estate's shuttle with Paas Accu at the controls. "Since the First Order occupation of Naboo, the Royal Palace has been home of the High security council and Supreme Leader Snoke. My grandmother once lived here while serving as Queen of Naboo. Its architectural design and elegance is spoken of around the Galaxy. There," I say and point and her eyes follow. "Take us the Theed hangar, Accu."

A gathering of some twenty high ranking officers of the First Order stand at attention as Rey and I arrive. Most of them have never seen me with the mask off and there is obvious puzzled surprise on their faces. Snoke was a deformed creature, worthy of a mask, while I never had such a need to hide my face. I just chose to for other reasons; to instill fear mostly but also in case a fleeting pull to the light would betray me.

"Supreme Leader, welcome to Naboo and Theed. Such an honor to finally have you here. Your reputation as a Leader and a user of the Force precedes you. And,..." The Commandant's words are lost as he spots Rey standing quietly at my side. A sly smile twists the man as he bows deeply and my hand begins to ache for my saber. "My Lady, forgive me. Please, let me be the first to welcome you to the Royal Palace of Naboo."

"Thank you."

Her soft voice directed at him makes the man squirm with delight and I have decided that he deserves a fast death by saber strike. "Let me introduce you. Lady Rey, my soon to be wife," I announce, to kill all ideas of possible conquest of my woman, and I grasp Rey's hand. The room falls quiet and all eyes stare at me, including Rey's but I ignore it all. "A tour, Commander. My intended is quite eager to see the Palace. After, I expect a five course dinner with a full disclosure of operations on Naboo."

"O-O-Of course, My Lord," the Commander stutters and signals with his arm down the hallway of the Palace.  
The Palace does not disappoint, it is truly magnificent, although I do prefer my own Lake Estate. In all honesty, I even prefer our dwellings on Jakku and Endor. The Palace is beautiful in architecture and interior design, but it lacks. It has no heart. No love is felt. Was it like this in the days of my Grandmother's ruling as well, or has the First Order ruined its magic? Is that was the First Order does; takes away all traces of heart and love from places and people? My grip on Rey's hand tightens as we continue through the Palace.

During dinner, I receive a detailed brief on the First Order's operations on Naboo. Rey pretends to not listen. Her face blank and uninterested but I know better. I know her and she is listening and memorizing every detail.

"And, the Gungan specie, any resistance to our rule?"

"None recently, My Lord. Holding their beloved Princess hostage stopped all attempts of..."

"Excuse me," Rey interrupts and I give her a look of caution, which she disregards. "Their princess is a prisoner here?"

"Yes, My Lady".

She asks or says nothing else but I know that the conversation is far from over. I can see the calculations already being processed in her Rebel mind. I'm going to have to make a decision on how to handle this situation. I know she will ask me to free the Princess. Freeing her could be a Diplomatic move which might serve all parties well: The Gungans, the First Order, and most importantly keep Rey happy and by my side.

"Frankly, we were surprised to hear of your visit. We were sure you would be overseeing the project."

I frown, debating using mind probing, but decide that asking will be faster. "What project?"

The commander throws glances up and down the table at the other members of the security council. "Construction of Starkiller Base II, My Lord. We have been informed by General Hux that the construction was authorized by you, Lord Ren."

The anger begins to rise and not even Rey's hand on my thigh under the table calms. "Is that so?" I growl and the commander flies out of his seat and across the table into my choking grip. "Get me General Hux NOW!"

Mere minutes later, I glare into the pasty face of General Hux and I wish my powers could reach through the holo screen to end him. "General Hux, you were given direct orders to wait for my command."

His smug grin fills the screen and I begin to plan his demise. "Supreme Leader, in your absence, I have perfected the design of the Starkiller Base. Nothing will be able to stop us. With its powers, we will once and for all crush the Resistance and bring absolute power to the First Order. The Galaxy will be ours. The Republic will bow to..."

"Seize all constructions now, General Hux, by order of your Supreme Leader. Disobey and suffer the consequences upon my return."

I terminate the communication link without waiting for his reply. There is no need to. Hux will obey due to fear of what I can do to him. He is a spineless man who hides behind the military strength of the First Order. He has no power with the Force and no real skill with weaponry. He is a pathetic tool, a rabid cur, and I will manipulate him as Snoke did.

We leave without another word. Paas Accur waits at the hangar and we board to return to Varykino. The night lights of Theed glow as we lift into the air and fly south towards the Lake District. I stay deep in thought on our way back as my mind dwells deeper into what has taken place. Hux used the resources of the First Order without my consent. He has always despised me and my position in the First Order. He fears and hates me equally, and wants what I have. What other liberties has he taken in my absence? Do I need to return?

Panic begins to rise and I look over at my love. I can't leave her, I can't bring her, but I can't risk Hux taking control over the First Order.

"Ben," Rey says and I am sure her next words will be about Hux and the Starkiller Base. I am wrong. "Tomorrow, we rescue the Princess and free the Gungans from the First Order. Your grandmother would have wanted us to."


	14. 14 Free Naboo

**14\. REY**

We're flying back to the Lake District. It's at the end of the night. The night lights of the human capital lies behind us and in front there are just scattered lights guiding our path. Paas Accu is on the controls and Ben is next to me. His arm is wrapped over my shoulders and my hand is on his thigh. The heat from his body feels good. The Palace was cold. Beautiful but cold.

So much has happened today. My mind is spinning and bounching between thoughts. Ben and I testing our intimacy limit, visit to Theed and the Palace, knowledge of the construction of another more powerful Starkiller Base, and the commander revealing that they have the daughter of the Gungan Boss. Ben settled the first by use of his power as Supreme Leader. The look on Hux face was clear; he fears Ben ... or Kylo Ren, I suppose. But the second is still to be dealt with. How could I enjoy this beautiful place knowing that the Gungan people has been stripped of their freedom? And that a child is being held prisoner?

"Ben," I say and he tilts his head towards me. He had been deep in thought like myself. "Tomorrow, we rescue the little girl and free the Gungans from the First Order. Your grandmother would have wanted you to."

A deep sigh and he retries his arm to rub his temples. "Rey," he warns or urges, or both.

I won't be silenced. "Ben, this is their planet, their home. You know it's the right thing to do."

"And, I do the right thing?" He asks, his face dark and severe. "This planet is under the rule of the First Order. The Gungan people resisted the authority and they were punished. The girl will be released... eventually."

"Once they follow and comply... like slaves?" I finish and Ben tips his head as a yes.

We fly the rest of the way back in silence. Ben did warn me before we came here that Naboo was under First Order rule and that here he would have to be Kylo Ren the Supreme Leader first and Ben Solo second. I know this. I just don't like it.

We get into the bed and I turn my back to Ben. It's a childish thing to do. I know this yet it can't be helped. Then, Ben slides up and presses his body to mine.

A brief kiss on my shoulder and a sigh. "Tomorrow."

I process the one word reply. Does he mean tomorrow we discuss it further or tomorrow we set free the prisoner, or... No matter what it means... "Tomorrow," I agree and close my eyes. Then I remember. "Ben, there's something else." Another kiss on my shoulder, sweet and caring. "What you said to the Commander. I never agreed that ..."

"I know." He says, his voice at my ear, his breath hot, and his voice low. "The way he was looking at you. I wanted to kill him." He quiets and I wait. His long legs stretch and his hand slides up to wrap around my hip. "I'm already there, Rey. When you are ready, ask me, and the answer will be yes."

My dream is rich and vivid as I sleep. I dream of the Gungan capital below the waters of Naboo, of Ben and I wielding our sabers together in battle against the First Order, and of a wedding in the ruins of an old castle on Takodana. I can see it perfectly; a cottage in the woods by a cascading waterfall, a school house with dozens of children, and Ben encircled while deep in teaching.

I wake up and the dream visions linger as I mull over their meanings. Were they wishes of my mind or were they snapshots of the future? I have seen the future before in dreams. I saw the island of Skywalker and I saw the tree of the Jedi Order. It is possible. So if it was the future that I glimpsed, that means Ben and I will free the Gungans, battle the First Order, marry, and start a Jedi school on Takodana?

A swarm of butterflies flutter inside of me and I reach for Ben ... only to find his side of the bed empty.

 _'Tomorrow'_

Ben's promise echoes in my mind and I rush out of bed. Thrown over the arm of a chair in the dressing room is Jedi attire in brown and beige. I put it on and secure the saber to the belt. As I walk downstairs, Ben waits for me on the bottom. He is wearing the same type of clothing. He is dressed as a Jedi. The butterflies take flight once again, its wings causing tingles throughout.

"Where did you get these clothes from?"

"Here," Ben says and tosses me a bag of food. "You missed breakfast." He begins to walk and I scurry to keep up. He replies as we step outside and towards the estate shuttle. "Anakin spent many years at the estate. Nothing was discarded." He stops suddenly and I nearly walk into him. With an appreciative look, he nods while he gives my robe a tug. "You look good as a Jedi."

"So do you, Master."

Ben takes us up in the shuttle and towards the swamps of Naboo, home of the Gungan specie. The Gungans are the native inhabitants of Naboo and there are two races: Otolla and Ankura. Those of the Otolla race are tall with prominent bills, eyes set on shorts stalks, and with long earlobes, haillu, which display their emotions. The more ancient race the Ankuras are short and stocky, their eyes hooden, and their earlobes and bills short. Boss Rugor Nass was of the Ankura race while Jar-Jar Binks was of the Otolla race. Eventhough Rugor Nass was the Boss of the Gungan people during the Trade Federation's invasion of Naboo, it is Binks who is spoken of across the Galaxy and who is seen as the true reason why the invasion failed.

Ben points into the swamps and a water mass in the distance. "Lake Paonga and Otoh Gunga city. The First Order has the entire area secured. If we wish to stay undetected, we will have to set down in the woods."

Ben does just that and we unload our speeder bikes. Dressed as a Jedi, Ben is not the Supreme Leader. It will serve well with the Gungan people but not with the First Order fighters. Ben has made a choice, for today and therefore temporary, yet it does fill me with hope.

We ride the bikes as close as we dare before we get off to walk the last stretch to the lake. Otoh Gunga, the capital of the Gungan people, lays hidden under the surface of Lake Paonga. Its bubble-like structures are created from the natural plasma of Naboo and bubble wort extract. The Gungans are amphibious and can stay under water for long periods of time, yet they do require breathable air. Just like us.

Equipped with breathing mouth pods, we creep out from behind the trees and submerge into the lake. Deeper and deeper, we dive towards the lights of the city below. I have heard of it, the magic of this place. To see it, to swim towards, is beyond anything. It triumphs over all other things I have witnessed on this planet. The Palace is nothing compared to this remarkable place.

I follow Ben's lead as he sets his feet down on a platform and then walks through the hydrostatic force-field. He moves as if he has been here before even though he is just as much a stranger to this place as I am. He always seems to know what to do. Never have I met his equal. Never will I again.

We are quickly detected and are greeted as strangers and intruders. Otolla fighters riding high on their Kaadus meet us with energy plasma spears pointed and yelling in Gunganese. I don't even attempt to try to communicate in their dialect.

"We have come to see your Boss Ragnar Motto," I say and all spears aim at me. Ben tries to push me behind him, to shelter me, but I won't let him. "We are Jedi Masters, sent by the Resistance. We have come to help you defeat the First Order."

Ben turns to look at me unpleased and there is a twitch underneath his eye showcasing his annoyance. He never really agreed. Yet, we are here, we snuck past the First Order, and we are both dressed as a Jedi. He may not have said the words but his actions set all of this in motion. We are getting close to the point of no return and I feel as excited as Ben feels apprehensive. He is still trying to hold on to the Darkness as I pull him towards the light. Who will be the strongest? Or should I say, who will allow the other one to win?

We are led into the throne hall of the Gungan Boss. Boss Motto is of the Ankura specie and he is as round as his Otolla warriors are lanky.

"Whosa this? Jedi Master com to see the Gungans? What yousa want?"

"We've come to help," I say. "Many years ago, the Resistance led by Queen Amidala and the Gungans led by Boss Rugor Nass fought and won together against the Dark Side. The time has come again. Together, we can defeat the First Order and drive them out of Naboo."

Boss Motto laughs and his chins bounce. "Yousa know notin, Jedi. Wesa Warrior. Wesa strong. Wesa many. But theysa hav mesa dauter."

"I know," I reply and Ben grips my hand as he guesses what I am about to say. I am about to make a promise which will mean the end of one and the beginning of another. "If we free your daughter, will you fight?"

My promise travels around the hydrostatic plasma bubble and enter everyone's ears and minds. Outside the force-field, fish swim past us without a care or sense of urgency. Boss Motto holds me with his wet stare, assessing me and my words.

Then, he snuffs and laughs again. "Yousa go, Jedi. If you bring mesa dauter hom... wesa fight."

Ben pulls me out of the hall and I bow to Motto as I stumble out. Not a word is spoken. Not until we have reached the surface and we are back amongst the trees. Ben grabs me by the lining of the Jedi coat and presses me up against the length of a tree.

He glares down at me, his anger obvious on his face and in his voice. "Rey ... too far. Making promises you can't keep." I begin to answer but he is too angry to let me talk. "Free the girl. Fight the First Order. Get yourself killed. No... I will tie you up before I let that happen."

"Then help me," I plead and place my hands on his hips. His grip on my collar loosens and his expression softens. "Help me. Ben. Please."

"Rey," Ben aches and his hands move up to wrap around my face. He places a long kiss on my forehead and I temporarily close my eyes. "As Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, I can give you everything. The First Order has the power to keep you safe and in comfort. Without the First Order, what can I give you?"

Smiling, I shake my head at him. "I don't want the power and comfort of the First Order. I just want you." He is now the one who shakes his head and his chin tips down towards the ground. "Just you," I say and I reach towards his lips as my arms wrap around his neck.

He lifts me up by my backside and press me against the bark of the tree. Our kiss is passionate yet soft, full of desire yet not rushed, raw yet loving. We are becoming one, Ben and I, in more ways than one. The connection to him grows with every moment and every experience that we share. I have never wanted anything as much as I want him, in every way. Us ever separating is not only a painful thought, it is an impossible one. No power in the Galaxy will keep us apart: the First Order, the Rebels, or Kylo Ren. I have decided to embrace all of him, even the Dark side of him.

Yelling from the lake pulls us apart but Ben doesn't set me down. "You and I? Just us? No one else?" I nod and he mirrors my movement. I see the concern and worry. "Once we attack, I will no longer be their Supreme Leader. What if I can't protect you?"

"We will protect each other and fight side by side, like we did in the Throne room."

Ben gives me a soft kiss, sets me down, and grips his saber in agreement. "You and I," he says one last time before stepping out of the woods and onto the lake shore.

Not expecting any resistance or fight from the Gungans, the lake area is only guarded by a platoon of Storm troopers and their Captain. With perfected aggression and skill, Ben takes down more than half before the Captain has yelled the first command. Gurgling on his own blood, he meets his end before a second command can be voiced. Side by side, as promised, Ben and I fight our way down the beach until there are none standing of the First Order. Gungans, hiding amongst the trees and in the water of the lake, venture out to stare in chock at the scene.

A radio crackle by the side of the Captain and Ben reaches for it. "This is Supreme Leader Kylo Ren of The First Order."

"Lord Ren," a voice on the other side salutes. "A disturbance was reported. Are you in need of assistance?"

"Tell the Council that the Gungan people have rebelled. I am collecting the girl. The Gungan must learn their place. I will make the Gungan Boss submit to me and to the First Order. GET HER READY NOW!"

Ben screams into the radio and a shiver moves through me as I watch his rage. Ben has anger issues. I have known this since the beginning. I have been the victim of his moments of rage. But then again, so has he of mine. The scar across his face is proof of it.

We leave the massacre of the lake and return to the shuttle on our speeder bikes. On board, Ben and I change out of the Jedi clothes and into First Order. It feels like putting on a disguise and I wonder if Ben feels the same way. He is changing so much and so fast. How far and deep is the separation from the First Order and the Dark Side? Are we almost there or is he only playing along to please me? If the latter... do I care? Does the reason matter?

Ben lets me pilot the shuttle and I set course for the Palace. I don't know the plan but I trust him and I trust us. Together, we have power over the First Order, strength with the Force, and faith in each other. Whether it is as Ben Solo or Kylo Ren, he will stand with me as I will with him. I did it all wrong in the beginning. I should never have asked him to turn to the Light of the Jedis and the Rebels. I should have asked him to turn to me and my light.

When we arrive, Ben gets off with his face like stone and his fists clenched. I follow a few steps behind. Around a big round table in the war room, the Council sits waiting for their Leader to arrive. In the corner, hunched and frightened while guarded by an armed storm trooper, is the Boss' daughter. I let out a shaky exhale in relief. She is unharmed and here.

"Lord Ren, what is the meaning of this?" The Commandant dares. His words are brave, but the tremble in his voice and his shrunken demeanor betrays him. "She is our greatest guarantee of the Gungan's compliance. If you kill her, we have nothing to force their obedience. They will not only fight for their independence but also for revenge. Primitive they may be but they are fierce fighters and their weapons are powered by plasma."

Ben glances over his shoulder at me before he sets his plan into its final motion. "Forget the Gungans. Forget this Planet. It is all doomed. The plasma mines are collapsing. Gather all troops and evacuate the planet now."

Confusion around the table. The chatter and arguing like the buzz from a swarm of bees. It is clear none believes him. Ben nods at me and I understand his wish. Can I do it?

"Lord, Ren. There has been no reports from any of the plasma mines that there has been a collapse of the tunnels. Production is at full capacity and operating superbly. The Gungans slaves have mined this planet for centuries. All is done by First Order protocol. There is no..."

"You will gather all your troops and leave this planet immediately. You will report to General Hux that the plasma mines collapsed and that Planet Naboo is forever doomed."

My voice seeps, echoes, and lingers. The manipulated Force vibrates the space around and inside of us all. Their faces take on a dull blank expression, and then they all repeat back to me, even the Storm Troopers in the back.

"I will gather all our troops and leave this planet immediately. I will report to General Hux that the plasma mines collapsed and that Planet Naboo is forever doomed."

The very second the last syllable is spoken, the dull expression disappears and is replaced by frantic urgency. Chairs tip backwards as the Council men begins to shout orders into their devices. Ben calmly walks to the corner and collects the Gungan girl. She begins to struggle but with a wave of his hand she grows limp in his arm.

We are almost out of the room and through the doorway when they Commander calls behind us. "Lord Ren, we will arrange your escape as well."

"Don't," Ben snaps back and looks at me. " I have everything I need." Together, we walk down the Palace hallway towards the shuttle, leaving the evacuation chaos behind us. Ben's breath is struggled as he says the next words. "This creature is as solid as her father. Why couldn't they be of the Otolla race?"

All around us, there is screaming, running, and madness, but I can't remember ever feeling so happy. Every little puzzle piece is falling into place. The present and future which used to be depressing and with so little to look forward to is now bright and amazing. My life, here and now, is beyond anything I ever dreamt. I used to only dream about my family coming to save me and take me away from Jakku. I should have been dreaming about someone tall, dark, and powerful. I should have been dreaming about my Ben.

 **14\. KYLO REN**

The Gungan girl in my arms must weigh ten times that of Rey. I would much rather carry Rey. Boss Motto's daughter looks like her father, just a smaller version. If it wasn't for the poorly fitted dress, I would have assumed it to be a male. Disgusted, I look down at the girl and instantly regret doing so. Her green amphibian skin, her warts, her long limp tongue hanging out from her giant lips... it's all too much. My eyes glue forward and I focus on one foot after the other towards the shuttle.

 _'For Rey'_  
 _'For Rey'_  
 _'For Rey'_

My mind keeps repeating, like a mantra to keep me on course and focused. It is all for Rey. If it wasn't for her, I would have said to hell with the Gungans. So what if they are slaves on their own planet, so what if they are forced to work the plasma mines and serve the First Order, so what if a little girl is kept captive? There will always be those who are superior to others. Weaker species will always be ruled by the stronger. This is nature's law. This is the order of things. This is balance.

A gentle hand against my back and my aggravated mind calms... Rey.

"We are almost there," she encourages, as if she knew that I needed to hear her voice and those words desperately.

Once on the shuttle, I drop the girl heavily on a chair and extend out my aching arms. I'm built strong but even I have limits to what is considered physical torture. My back and neck creak as I stretch and flex to get my normal mobility restored. Feeling almost my self again, I sit down next to Rey and assess the platform. The evacuation of the Palace and Naboo is in full motion. One shuttle after the other is launched and we wait until we receive the clear before we take off as well.

Gliding over the city of Theed, the madness has spread throughout the streets. The First Order will alert all that the plasma interior of Naboo has become unstable and that an evacuation is immanent. This is a lie of course, fabricated by us and convinced as the truth by the use of Jedi mind trick. The sympathizers of the First Order will believe and follow the order. The humans on Naboo who were just as much slaves as the Gungan people will have to make a choice; leave with their oppressors or stay and face possible death. I read the minds of the Council during last night's dinner. The Queen of Naboo and all of its leadership was killed during the invasion. Anyone who posed a threat or held an opinion not in favor of the First Order were eliminated. This is the way of the First Order. I know cause it was my way as well.

 _'Something much worse has happened to you'_

It is the words of Lor San Tekka spoken to me moments before I cut him down on Jakku. I have not thought of him or the villagers since that night. They are all dead because of me. It didn't matter then. Their lives and deaths meant nothing to me. I was a Monster. At times, deep inside, I still am. I try to care for others but it feels forced. It doesn't feel like me. The reason is because I only do it for Rey.

 _'It isn't too late'_

Rey told me this once. It is still true? Can I still be saved?

 _'I'll help you'_

No doubt she will help me. But at what cost to her? And do I really want to? Join the Rebels? Be a good guy? Bury Kylo Ren and live out my life as Ben Solo? If it comes with Rey, the thought is tempting. But, there is still hesitation because there is still hate, anger, and contempt; for the Rebels, for the General, and for Ben Solo.

"They are all leaving," Rey says and I awake from my thoughts to look out the command bridge window. From all sections of the planet, shuttles are rising up into the air to depart. "You did it, Ben."

I take her extended hand. "We did it... you and I."

We land by the shoreline of Lake Paonga. I walk out with the girl in my arms and hand her off into the welcoming arms of her father. Rey and I watch as he gives his daughter a kiss on her forehead which stirs her awake. Explosive joy erupts amongst the Gungans as father and daughter are reunited. Rey, obviously caught up in the moment, squeezes my arm and I watch as tears roll down her smiling face. This is empathy; the ability to understand and share the feeling of others. I lack this. And, not only do I lack the ability to understand and share their feelings of joy, I don't care that I am lacking. Their feelings of joy or sadness or pain have no meaning or interest to me. I see them as inferior and they mean nothing to me. There are very few people that mean something to me. Maybe even just one.

"Jedi Masters, yousa bring mesa dauter home. Mesa muy muy happy. Now, Gungans and Jedi wesa being friends."

"Friends," Rey says, answering for the both of us as she wipes off the tears with the back of her hand. She slides in next to me, link our fingers, and leans her head onto my upper arm. "Look," she says and I do, not sure what I am supposed to see. "We did that. We made that possible."

I watch the Gungans and carefully appraise their happiness, cheering, and triumph. Then I scan my own feelings and I do notice a small reaction. Maybe not empathy. It feels more like pride and accomplishment. We did make it possible. Rey and I. Together. And that is the key. Doing it with her. And the reward? Not the thanks and the friendship with these lower species, but the bond and memories created with Rey.

I would have preferred to leave but a feast is offered and of course Rey accepts. Leaving her is not an option. Where she goes, I go. No matter the task, destination, or company. So we dive again, into the lake, and to the city of Otoh Gunga. This time, however, we dont have to arrive soaking wet. As honored guests and heroes, we are offered to ride in Boss Motto's Bongo Submarine. The Bongos are normally used for deeper water and greater distances. It is built for sleek maneuvering, speed, and tight spaces, perfect for escaping the beasts of the Naboo's interior oceans. I wouldn't mind piloting one... as would Rey, I am sure.

The feast has already begun when we arrive. Music, dance, and food in the likes of quantity and quality that I have never seen before. Big platters are brought out with all sorts of local fauna: Grilled See, Tee, and Faa fish, deepfried nuna legs and boiled eggs, roasted Yobshrimp, Gulama meatballs, sauteed slug beetles, and Ikopis steaks all on blankets of Naboo lettuce. On other tables sweet fruits such as the ones from the Cambylictus and the Perlote trees. At each table, big pitchers of sweet Shaak milk and Naboo blossom nectar wine.

We are seated at the Boss' head table. A large plate is placed in front of me and is loaded without my consent. I am famished and the food is delicious so I have no problem cleaning off the plate. That is except for one item; the slug-beetles. The beetle is a blue winged insect which lives at the roots of the Perlote tree. It is eaten whole, wings and all, and is considered a delicacy by the Gungans.

"It is rude not to finish your food, Master."

I look down at Rey's plate which is completely cleared. "You ate yours?" I ask, part impressed but mostly disgusted.

Her smug grin gleams as she replies. "I didn't get any. The slug-beetles are only for the men. They are supposed to give you strength and courage."

"I already have that. They can take their disgusting winged beetles and shove them up their..."

"Jedi Masters," Boss Motto bellows as he stands up with a goblet of nectar wine raised in a toast. "Thank yousa for bringing mesa dauter hom. For yousa, a toast and a gift from the Gungans."

He sweeps the entire content of his goblet in one gulp and then points with his thick short arm towards the outside of the hydrostatic bubble. Rey and I turn to look behind us. There, on the other side of the protective barrier, is a bongo submarine. It's design is similar to those of Boss Motto's vessel but this one is smaller and more dull in color for better cameo.

"Yousa like your gift?"

Rey excitement is clear. "Yes, very much. Thank you." The Boss sits down and Rey instead rises. She pulls me to stand as well and I do so reluctantly. "Today was a victory but the First Order will return. The plasma is too valuable. When they do, be ready. Defend your people and your planet. Make ally with the humans of Naboo. Together, you are stronger, just like during the days of Queen Amidala and Boss Rugor Nass." Rey stops and I receive a glance. She is preparing or warning me for what is coming next. "The Resistance is out there. We will not stop until the First Order is defeated. And, the Jedi Order will not stop until the Dark Side is no more."

Applauds and cheer erupt for the both of us. If only they knew who I truly was. They wouldn't cheer then. They would try to kill me. And, Rey would have to make a choice. Them or me. I know who she would choose. To save me, she would fight along side me, no matter what or who. For me, to keep me safe and alive, she would kill. She'll stand with me, Ben Solo or Kylo Ren, even if its means leaving the Light for the Dark Side.

The festivities are still going as we board our new transport to leave. We half listen to the warnings about the caves of the deep and the gigantic creatures roaming these inner planet oceans. If anything, the warnings sounds like an invite to a challenge. Our skills as Pilots and our unmatched strengths with the Force against hungry sea killers. I'd say the odds are in our favor.

I let Rey take the controls first. Call it being a gentleman or call it what it really is; strategy. The real fun is deeper where the big fish swim. Up here, closer to the surface there are only scalefish and other boring water creatures. Below, and deeper, into the caves and tunnels of the abyss is where I will be able to fully test this vessel and myself.

We glide along, steadily going deeper and further from the waters of central Lake Paonga. "There..." I say and point at a formation of porous bedrock. Rooted to the rocks, plants sway rhythmically in the swells of the ocean deep. "... locap plants. The Gungans harvest plasma from the buds. They use it to create their underwater hydrostatic homes and for other technology, such as their weapons. Do you know that the blade of our light sabers are made of plasma?"

"Of course I do," Rey replies and smiles mischievously. Her smiles fades and she now points. "There, is that the abyss?"

Straight ahead is a stone wall reaching all the way up to land. In the stone wall are tunnel openings, wide enough to let through a Bongo... or a sea monster. It is the abyss; a series of submerged cavernous tunnels that pass through Naboo's core. It's an interior underwater highway reaching all parts of the planet. It is the quickest way to travel from one side of Naboo to the next. But the price can be steep. It could cost you your life.

"My turn," I tell Rey and I don't wait for an answer before I seize control.

Rey doesn't object and we both settle in. The thin dark tunnel closes in on us as it takes us deeper and deeper. Not a single living thing is spotted. Then, we see a bright blue glow at the end of the tunnel and I slow the speed to carefully move up to its drop off. In front of us is an interior ocean, hidden deep in the center of planet Naboo. Above, humans, Gungans, and animals live their lives while creatures as big as mountains roam below.

Far down to the left, a dark shadow catches my eye. It's a massive Opee sea killer scanning the ocean for something to eat. If I was anyone else I would wait till it swam past, try to avoid it, but what fun is that? What's the point in having all these skills and powers if I'm not going to use them?

"Do you trust me?" I ask Rey.

"Yes. Do it."

I blast off out of the tunnel opening and hit the openess of the abyss. Smaller fish and water creatures scatter from the turbulance from the water vessel as we cut through. I am heading straight for it, the Opee sea killer.

Crazy? Yes... Fun? Absolutely... Suicide? Maybe.

Some 500 yards out, the Opee spots us with its yellow eyes and its speed accelerates instantly. Its ginourmous mouth with double row of teeth opens in anticipation of an easy meal. It believes it has nothing to fear. Down here, only the sando aqua monster can bite through its strong armor and cause it harm. What can a puny submarine with two insignificant humans do? What indeed?

Its yellow eyes grow in size and glow as we speed towards each other. I am aiming straight at its giant open mouth. I feel no fear. I am the cause of fear. I am Kylo Ren. I am the best Pilot in the Galaxy and I have the power of a Jedi Master and Dark Lord. This is a fish. I massive fish with rows of sharp teeth, but still a fish. So I keep my course, straight at it, aiming for its gaping hole and its purple tunnel leading into its stomach.

Closer... closer...closer... and just as the Opee can almost taste us, I turn to climb up. With perfect navigation, I scrape along the curve of the sea creature's front causing an eerie sound as our vessel grinds against its armored flesh . Up the center, past its eyes, between its antennas, and down its massive back I pilot. Once on the other side of its body, I blast off with a furious Opee at our Bongo thrust tail. Weaving past stone pillars, through ocean seaweeds, and over plasma fields we race. I am fully connected with the Force. I can feel each current of the water, each obstacle in my path, and the hungry fury of the chasing Opee. I am in perfect control. I am unmatched.

There is a tunnel up ahead, big enough for our vessel but too small for our stalker. We enter the tunnel and the Opee is left at the abyss without even a taste. I slow down the speed and we cruise along on the underground water current through the dark tunnel. It is taking us towards the blue glow of another abyss up ahead.

"Not bad," Rey says next to me, causing me to smile wide.

"Not bad? You think you can do better?" I ask and she nods with smug confidence. I surrender the controls and throw my hands up. "Show me, Padawan," I challenge.

Rey assumes control and settles into pilot mode. Her stance changes as she connects to the force and focus in on her piloting skills. When we reach the end of the tunnel, she doesn't stop to scout as I did. Instead, she accelerates and blasts into the open abyss. The bright light of the blue openenss stings at the eyes after the dark tunnel but I adjust quickly. Rey drops us down deeper into the abyss. She is looking for something, something challenging, something dangerous and hungry, something bigger than an Opee Sea that will show off her skill.

We both sense it at the same time, the tingle of a threat and a disturbance in the Force. "Deep below us. At least two of them. They're big."

I agree. "I sense a male and a female. They haven't spotted us yet. You can still get us out of here unseen."

"Is that what you would do, Master Solo?"

She's not really asking. We didn't come down here into the feared Naboo abyss for a joyride. We are here for a thrillride and a chance to test our powers. If we wanted to casually pilot the Bongo alongside colorful scalefish, we would be in the waters of the Lake Country.

So, we dive deep. Deeper than before, into the area that the Gungans call The Caves of Eleueabad. Its underwaterway will lead us directly to Theed. It is the fastest route from the Gungan capital to the Human capital, but it is also the most dangerous one because of what dwells here. Sando Aqua Monsters are 10 times the size of an Opee and they are the only creature that could bite through its armored flesh. Enormous muscular body, huge mouth lined with razorsharp teeth, finned claws and tail meant to slash... this is what we meet in the deep. And not just two, but three. And they are all staring straight at us; the intruders of their domain.

"GO!" I yell and Rey reacts instantly.

A huge finned claw sweeps in front of us and Rey just barely dodges below. Under, over, between we move as the three monsters try to slash us to pieces. A few miles up ahead is the entrance to the underwaterway to the Solleu river and Theed. Rey just has to get us there.

"Let go, Rey. Trust the Force. Trust yourself," I say and place a hand on her shaking shoulder.

Closing my eyes, I let my strength and my Force flow into her. I trust her and I believe in her like I do no other. With my eyes still closed, I see through her eyes how Rey takes us closer and closer until we are safely into the passageway. The Bongo is banged up but intact and so are we.

Rey unstraps herself from the belts and she is in my arms. "I knew you could do it. Well done, Padawan."

I kiss her and she folds into me, her body shaping to mine. As we kiss, the Bongo floats down the tunnel and merges with the current of the Solleu river. We are still kissing as we drift up and enter the bright world of above. We are out of the abyss. Further down the river, Paas Accu is waiting with the estate shuttle that we left by Lake Paonga and we lift off for Lake Country. Today's adventure with the Gungans is over.

Back at the estate, once again alone, the Jedi clothes drop at our feet. She gives herself to me fully and I take her, slowly and completely, even though I don't deserve her. She is as beautiful as I am ugly, and yet she loves me. For me, she will risk it all, even her own light. I may drown her in Darkness, but still she stays true and by my side.

As the sun rises on a new day, so do I. The memories and the truth of who I am is tearing at me. I hear her move behind me and then her arms are around my waist and her lips against my back. Her naked form forms to mine as if we were created to fit perfectly together.

"Ben. What's wrong?"

Her concern for me seals my decision. No more hurting her and draping her in darkness. She is worthy of so much more. She is worthy of everything.

"The time has come..." I say.

"For what?"

"... to face my mother."


	15. Chapter 15

**15\. REY**

"The time has come..." Ben says, sending a chill across my naked skin.

"For what?" I tremble, not sure if I want him to answer.

"... to face my mother," he finishes and the chill freezes me.

I hug him a little tighter as I decide on my next words. "If you're doing this for me, you don't have to. It was wrong of me to try and change you. You don't have to."

His big hands cover mine which are holding him across his waist. "Rey," he starts. His low voice caressing my name like only he can. "I've seen it. Our possible future. I want it. But for that to happen, there are things that I must do."

His voice sink in and visions from my own dream reappear in my mind. Our wedding, our home on Takodana, and the Jedi school. Has he seen the same? And he wants it? A smile spreads and glow.  
I place my smiling lips against the bare skin of his back and agree. "Ok, I will take you to the General but first..." I say and pauses for Ben will not like what I'm about to propose. "...there is someone else you must face."

Less than an hour later, we depart from Varykino and Naboo. Ben stays tense and focused. There is lots lingering on his mind so I leave him to his thoughts. The next couple of days will be more trying than any he has ever faced before. He will be judged for all that he has done. He will be seen and treated as a traitor and murderer. They will try to kill him. I wont let them. I'll stand with him, no matter what and no matter who.

Upon arrival, I set us down by the destroyed castle and Ben eyes the destruction with a solemn face. He did this, him and his troops, last time he was here on Takodana. Last time, when his shuttle set down, it was to capture and kill. Now, we are back here together and our mission is of a completely different sort.

I let the command shuttle hum one final time before I shut off the engine and we sit back and wait. They have seen and heard our arrival. They are on their way and the tension in the shuttle is thick for we know that this will not be pleasant. Yet it must be done. Ben must make peace and we must trade shuttles. We can't arrive at the Rebel base flying this infamous and hated shuttle. No matter a distress signal from me, they will believe it fake and a trap, we will get shot down before I have a chance to explain.

My leg begins to tap rapidly and Ben places a reassuring hand across my thigh. I turn to give him a smile when I spot two figures stepping into the clearing from the wooden path. One is as tall as the other one is small, but yet the confidence in their walk is matched. My heartbeat picks up as I see them approach and I exhale with a tremble as I rise.

Ben rises as well and heads for the exit. "Ben," I say and place a halting hand to his chest. "Let me go first. Wait here until I..." I search for the words for it is still unclear in my mind how I will convince them of Ben's sincerity and convince them to assist us on our mission. I close my eyes momentarily and take strength from the feel of Ben underneath my fingertips. "Let me talk to them, explain. Let me try to convince them to help us... Please."

Ben nods and I withdraw my hand as I turn to walk out to meet the two waiting outside. The first eyes I lock with, as the shuttle ramp opens and lowers, is Maz Kanata's. Her worry cuts through me and I want to rush into her arms to ensure her of my well being. I want to but I don't and instead I hold my composure. Ben is watching from inside the shuttle and he trusts me to stay on task. He has entrusted me to take him to his mother and so I shall. But to do that, I need the Millennium Falcon... and I need it's co-pilot.

Chewie greets me angrily and flares his arms towards the black omen of a shuttle. "I know... I know, Chewie," I answer him, trying to calm him. Yet, I understand and I shake my head with my own disbelief of how things have developed. "I know what this must look like. Last time you saw this shuttle, I was being taking away by my will but so much has happened since then. Everything is different. I'm different... and he... he is different."

My words are spoken slowly and with care, emphasizing the most crucial words to allow them to hopefully take affect. And take affect they do. Chewie explodes into a rampage of flaring, yelling, and words that I lack the skill to translate. Clumps of hair fly off his tall stature and begin to drift with the wind around us. All the while, Maz simply assesses me silently and intently from behind her thick glasses. She pays no mind to Chewie's outburst and fury, but instead watches me closely as if all the answers she seek can be found in my gaze.

Then, she removes her glasses and motions with her index for me to come near. "He?" She question once I am hunched down so that our eyes are nearly leveled. Her head tilts slightly to the side and she eyes the shuttle behind me. "Is he in there? Watching? Waiting?"

Chewie quiets and stills as he waits for my answer as well. "Yes," I say and Chewie lets out the same sound as the one he made when Ben cut down his own father. He rushes for the ramp and I throw myself in his path to prevent his entry onto the shuttle. "No, Chewie. I won't let you. I told you. He is not the same. It is Ben, not Kylo Ren in there, and he needs our help. Please. Chewie."

Chewie pushes against me and I nearly lost the struggle when Maz' calm voice saves me. "Chewie, lets hear the child out. We owe it to Han."

Chewie freezes at the sound of this old friend's name and backs away so that my tired arms falls down to my side. I breath out and offer Maz a thankful smile. "Thank you."

Maz huffs. "Don't thank me yet. This has better be a good story and that boy in there better be Ben Solo and not Kylo Ren." She silences to stare at me. A few seconds pass, and then she rolls her big eyes at me and huffs again. "Well, is he going to come out or is he going to keep hiding?"

Seconds later, Ben walks down the ramp and my beating heart nearly break through the skin of my chest. Chewie stirs next to me but one look from Maz has him behaving. Ben weaves his fingers through mine as she joins me and Maz gives us a nod.

"Come," she says and motions in the direction of her cottage. "A good story deserves a good lunch."  
We stay behind them as we make our way to Maz' cottage. Chewie keeps glancing back at us throughout the trek, not trusting and I can't blame him. If I didn't know, if I hadn't seen, and if I didn't feel, I would not believe or trust Ben either. He would still be Kylo Ren to me just as he is still to Chewie. Walking next to me is a man who has done horrible things and who possesses the power to kill anyone he wants. Even Chewie, with all his dominate mass and physical strength, would have no chance against Ben. Chewie knows this and yet he is fine with risking is own life to hear us out. He will do it for his old fallen friend Han. The real question is, will my words and reassurance enough for him to risk Leia's life?

At the cottage, Maz waves her hand at the chairs around her table as she sets out refreshments. "Take a seat. Let's hear how this came to be."

Maz means us. How we came to be. I would be curious too. And not just curious. I would be doubtful, outraged, and even disgusted. Kylo Ren is a Monster. He is of the worse kind. And here I am, sitting by his side and not just as an ally but also as his lover. Yet, because it is Maz, because she is special, Maz is only curious. There is no other emotion radiating from her than just curiosity and a need to know.

"Where do I start?" I laugh, but not from amusement, and I look down at my fingers intertwined around Ben's to somehow find the tread of beginning.

"Dear child," Maz replies and I look up to find her smiling at me. She shakes her head as her gaze falls on Ben. "I wasn't asking you. I was asking Ben." She pauses and her eyes dig into his as her head moves in circles to view him carefully from each angle. "That is your name, is it not? Ben Solo, son of Han Solo and Princess Leia? Or, is it still Kylo Ren, killing of Rebels, destroyer of planets, and user of the Dark side of the Force?"

Her direct and fearless questions sends shivers into the nape of my back. Maz knows exactly the amount of power Ben possess and yet she attacks him without hesitation or restraint. Is it because she believes I will protect her or because she believes that Ben has changed?

The skin below Ben's eyes twitches at her words but he remains calm at my side. "It is Ben Solo... and Kylo Ren. They are both my names. By which you decide to call me, is up to you."

Maz likes his answer, I can tell. "Very well, lets hear your story of how you turned Rey's heart and perhaps at the end, you will have turned mine as well."

Ben starts at his beginning, when he first felt a change in the Force. He had known there was a presence, someone powerful altering the balance. Snoke had believed it was Luke Skywalker but Ben had known differently. He knew what Luke's presence felt like and this was not it. The sensation had given him feelings of anticipation, thrill, and eager. And then when he heard that it was a girl whom he sought, the need to find this girl became an obsession. And then he found me, I was in his grasp, and the fascination grew even more. I dared to talk back to him. I held no fear and yet tears fell so easy down my face at the thought of my family abandoning me. More importantly, I was able to resist him. Without knowing how, I blocked his Jedi mind trick and instead entered his mind. I saw his deepest fear and by doing so, I saw him like no one else ever had.

As Ben continues to talk, telling Maz and Chewie our story, he wins me over for a second time. If I wasn't already on his side, if I didn't already love him, his telling of our tale would have made it so. He tells it plainly, reciting each event just as it happened. Yet, every detail and fact along our time line explains the progression of us and how we came to be. Without saying the exact words, he tells the three of us how for me he gave up his pride, his dominance with the Force, and his position as the Supreme Leader.

And now, for our future, he will face judgement for all the things that he has done. He will stand in front of the firing squad, stripped and without retaliation, and take whatever punishment is decided. So we can have a future, he will bend to the will of others and take a knee to those weaker than him. He will not use his skill with the saber, his power with the Force, or the strength of the First order.

Yet, and I hope he knows that he will not be alone. He will have me... and I will shield him... always.

 **15\. Ben**

The short one, with the big eyes, asked for our story so I gave it to her. The Pirate Queen, as she is called, wanted to know how we came to be so I told her. I didn't try to convince her by adding sweet nonsense or romantic fillers. I simply started at the beginning and voiced each memory of us out loud in the order they took place.

Even though I have never liked sharing, I did find pleasure in retelling how I won Rey over. In the entire Galaxy, she is the greatest price I could have ever won. And now that she is mine, the pressure in my chest is almost painful at times. It is tightly compressed feelings bursting of pride, joy, amazement, and of course love. But there is also agonizing fear of losing her and exploding jealousy that someone else might take her from me.

"So you love her?"

The voice of the short one with the prying eyes asks the loaded question and Rey's hand squeezes mine startled. For a Jedi, she reacts too easily to outside distractions. I have a temper. I get angry and I strike, but every move I make is still calculated and precise. If you let others effect you, you are weakened and vulnerable. Only one is allowed to effect me in this manner. It's a good thing she loves me as well or I'd be dead by now.

"I do," I reply, my voice as solid as my feelings.

The furry one, the one who stayed like a loyal dog by my father's side till the very end, makes one of his typical loud irritating noises. Even as a child, when all the other children flocked around him for rides on his furry shoulders, I disliked him. To me he was a primal inferior creature from one of those planets lacking all advancement in technology and science. I hated how much time he got to spend with my father, how my father valued his company and advice, and how much more my father seemed to love him.

"I still sense darkness in you," she states boldly and my eye twitch at her insolence.

Rey's hand squeezes mine under the table but I still answer truthfully. "Yes, there is."

The Pirate Queen moves those horrendously thick glasses to the side of her round head and lean closer. "And, you ask us to trust you?"

I meet her uncovered eyes, not averting or avoiding. "If you can't trust me, trust Rey."

"And if you can't trust me, remember what Han wanted." Rey finally speaks. Shamelessly, mentioning the one whose name cuts the deepest. "He wanted to bring his son home, home to his mother. Help me do this."

The Wookie lets out a howl, a growl, or whatever the hell one would call it at the mention of my father's name. I try to keep my disgust at his presence hidden but I am sure it is clear. He always believed himself, or should I say itself, to have first right to my father's time when he was alive. And now, at his death, he believes himself to have first right to his memory. He was one of the reasons why my parents slipped apart, and why my father and I never had the connection we could have had. Do I blame the Wookie? ... Yes.. Yes, I do.

Movement, across the table from me, draws me out of my thoughts and I nonchalantly glance its way. All my senses slam into strike mode as I see the short one get on top of the table and begin to crawl on all four towards me. My hand automatically reach for my saber but Rey's hand stops me from drawing it.

The Pirate Queen, Maz as Rey lovingly calls her, studies me up close and her eyes land on my hand still grasping for the saber. "Yes," she says sadly. "There is still darkness in you. Hate and darkness." She sighs deeply and shakes her head with despair. But, then she looks to Rey and sees how her hand has halted my intended advancement. "Yet," she adds and her face changes from gloom to glow. "There is also love... and where there is love.. there is hope."

Surprisingly graceful for someone so stout, the Pirate Queen leaps off the table and walks up to the Wookie. "Chewie, get the Millenium Falcon ready. We're taking the boy home to see his mama."


	16. Chapter 16

**16\. REY**

"I'll be fine."

My troubled mind must have been visible on the outside for Ben provides an answer to one of my biggest fears. I had been lost in my thoughts looking out the large rustic window into the thick woods of Takodana. My worry for tomorrow had painted disturbing mental images of chaos and death. I could see and hear it as if it was already happening.

"Come," he urges and I turn to him.

Ben is on the bed. His long bare body, only covered by a thin sheet of woodsy green cotton, is stretched out on the well sized bed. He looks as relaxed as I feel tense.

I look at his hand, reaching out for me, asking me to come. "Ben," I say, surprised to hear my voice so weak. It's not like me. "If they won't let you surrender. If they try to kill you... I don't know what I'll do."

"Yes, you do," Ben replies, confident and without a trace of insecurity or stress. A smile turns his lips up into a soft curve as he repeats the words he has said many a times. "You'll stand with me."

Ben says what my heart knew but my mind didn't want to admit. "You're right," I agree. "I'll stand with you." Heartbreak as I realize what standing with Ben will mean if the Rebels attack. Tears fall as the mental images materialize once again. "Ben, I don't want to hurt them."

Ben sighs, not from irritation or impatience, but with resolve. "Rey, I will surrender, I will bow in defeat , and I will hide like a coward behind you, the Pirate Queen, and the Wookie." Another smile, this one wider and his hand reaches for me even more eagerly. "Come."

This time I take his hand. I need him as much as I want him. He is strength and calmness. Both things which I lack at the moment. I want to wrap and submerge myself into him, feel his body grasp and crush me.

Ben leads me to him and his hands guide my hips to where he wants me. As his hands move , I raise my arms into the air and my tank is slowly peeled off. In a careless way, Ben flings the clothing to the side and his lips find mine. The kiss is gentle and soft, almost like he is kissing me for the first time. Small pecks placed at every angle of my lips as his hand cradle my face gently. Hands that can cause such pain, handle me with outmost care. With every stroke, touch, and kiss, he is telling me that he loves me.

He pulls away from me and our eyes meet. My left hand which had been resting at the swell of his right lat leaves to instead sweep his hair away from his eye. His hair is still wet from the watering pond. Drops of water run down my hand as I hold back his locks. I run my fingers down his scar, all way to his chest, leaving a trail of moisture on his skin.

"Love me," I whisper and he does just that.

 **16\. Ben**

Morning comes too soon. Today is a day I never thought I would face. I am to surrender to the Rebels, to the weak thieves and traitors of the Rebellion. I, Lord Ren, am to bow and give up my supremacy. The power of the Force is mine to use as I wish. I could easily kill them all, with the Force, with the skill of my saber, or with the strength of the First Order... Yet, I will not. Instead, I will take a knee and bow down in defeat. Why?

 _'For her'_

Rey has already left, joining the hairy one to get the Millennium Falcon ready for our departure. This is the arrangement. Bring me to the Rebels and my mother in my father's old freighter and with his faithful copilot by my side. It is not an arrangement either of us like. The Wookie hates me as much as I hate him. He hates me cause I killed Han Solo, his life companion. I hate him because he is a reminder of my father's neglect and the favoritism towards an inferior creature over his own son. How my mother could stand him I never understood. And now, my father is dead, so why does she tolerate and allow his continued presence? Is the Rebellion truly that desperate?

I huff and put on the last of my garment. One might have thought that I should dress as a Rebel or a Jedi. But no, I am in my black First Order clothing. Supposedly, I am surrendering as Lord Kylo Ren with hopes of reclaiming my honor back as Ben Solo and be allowed to join the Rebellion. I too am to become a traitor and a thief.

I huff again, this time louder, and I catch a glimpse of my scoured face in the mirror. It is twisted and ugly, worsen by the scar across my face, and it shows what truly lingers below. I have tried to drive the dark out and be all about the light, but the short one was spot on. The Dark side of the Force is strong with me. I am Darkness. I am Hate. I am Violence and Death. Question is, will the Rebels see? Will she see, my mother? And if she does, what will she do?

Panting at the door, caused by vigorous running, Rey asks breathlessly. "Are you ready?"

I turn and there she is, the reason for my sudden change in life direction. I was headed towards greatness within the Galaxy. I was the Supreme Leader of the mighty First Order. I was unstoppable. I was feared and obeyed. And now... now I am simply... loved.

And because of this love, I regret nothing. I'd give it all up for her, again and again, always, and with no doubt or hesitation.

"No," I reply and pick her up at the waist to crush her to my chest. I can do this, not be so gentle, for she is as strong as she is capable and brave.

She lets me hold her tightly, not asking why or trying to break the embrace. Her arms wrap around my neck and her warm breath is at the edge of my hair. I just want to hold her here for a moment. This is the memory that will carry me through the next days when they separate us and I am held accountable. I will be forced to keep my cool, resist killing anyone, and pretend to be once again Ben Solo at heart and not Lord Ren... it's not going to be easy, so I need this.

After several more minutes, I finally set her down with a long sigh. "Now, I'm ready."

No questions asked. She just smiles, takes my hand, and we begin the walk towards the Millennium Falcon. Not far past the settlement, at a clearing near the shoreline of Lake Nymeve, we spot the Falcon. The shuttle is a grey disgrace of a space craft. If my shuttle is deemed a magnificent bird of prey, this one should be deemed ready for extinction by Darwin's Law. Yet, for some reason my father spent his entire adult life treating it like a treasure. What would he say about me being its pilot, and with Rey and the Wookie as my copilots? Would he call it my birthright, my inheritance, my fate? Would he cry tears? Would he consider his death worth the sacrifice, seeing me here and now?

I enter the shuttle and let the thoughts of my father and his passing dissolve. What's done is done. There are enough people judging and condemning me for the act. No need to crucify myself as well.

"Will this piece of junk take us there?"

The Wookie reacts loudly to my word selection and I really want to shut him up; with the Force, my saber, or my fist... whatever will work.

"The ship will hold. Chewie and I have checked every circuit and operation. Do you want to pilot her?"

 _'Her'_ I repeat in my mind and I suppose the gender suits the vessel since it was practically my father's mistress. "Sure," I say and take my father's old seat, claiming and sealing my heritage.

With a heavy thump, the Wookie takes the chair to my right and eyes me sourly. His irritation intensifies as I reach up and touch the gold dices hanging above. They too are my inheritance. The Wookie needs to learn and accept that everything that was once my father's is now mine. In a way, even he is regardless of what the both of us feel and want.

I fire up the old bird and the feel of her is not as bad as I had thought. Even the take off is smoother than expected. With a smug grin of accomplishment, Rey settles in behind me and there is a swell in my chest. I hate to say it... but... it all feels right... it feels like home. Me, Rey, the Wookie, and the old bird.

 _'Oh shit'_

As Takodana grows smaller and smaller below us, Rey leans in at my ear and whispers so only I can hear. "Next time we see this green planet, will it be for our wedding?"

The swell surges at her words and the pain in my chest nearly takes my breath. The need to move forward fast, fast-forward through time, so we can get to that moment hits me like a fathier kick to my gut. Without a thought of what shitstorm awaits once we arrive at Rebel camp, I signal to the Wookie to prepare the freighter for lightspeed. He doesn't argue with my command. Perhaps he is as eager to get there. Cant wait to see my ass getting beat probably. So be it. I can take it.

My father always used to brag that the Falcon was the fastest ship in the Galaxy. I never got to know if this was true as a child. Sometime before or slightly after my birth, the Falcon was stolen by Gannis Ducain, a simple low-life gunrunner. My father, with the Wookie at his side, spent the rest of my childhood looking for the ship. He grieved and searched for the freighter as if it was a long-lost lover. By doing so, he not only sacrificed his marriage but also his relationship with his only child... me.

However, despite the anger that I feel there is also thankfulness. Because when he finally found the Falcon, he also found Rey. And by doing so, I found her as well.

"She is fast. Perhaps she is truly the fastest in the Galaxy."

The Wookie hollers back, agreeing with me, which is a first. In the seat behind me, Rey leans forward and places a hand on my shoulder. I cover her small hand with my large and as I close my eyes, images flood in. I see none of the chaos and troubles that await but only glimpses of a future where I am surrounded by light, laughter, and love. Who would have thought that I, the darkest of souls and someone who can kill his own father without hesitating, would be worthy of such a future? I should have been condemned to a life of coldness and hardness, surrounded by machinery, faceless troops, and enemies, and dying like Snoke where my death was rejoiced instead of grieved. How, why, and by whom was it decided that I deserve more and better?

The vessel jerks as it exits lightspeed and all of our eyes are focused ahead. Even the Pirate Queen who has been keeping to herself in the back of the freighter joins us at the command deck. We have arrived at the Outer Rim Territories, in the Sluis sector, and before us is a planet by the name of Dagobah.

I've heard of this swampy planet. This is where Jedi Grand Master Yoda trained my uncle. It is said that the Force is strong on Dagobah and that it is one of the purest places in the Galaxy. Many years ago, Jedi Master Minch battled and killed Bpfasshi, the leader of a group of Dark Jedi. The energy of the powerful Dark Jedi absorbed into the planet and the evil of the slain Dark Jedi now dwells in the place of his death. If one was to enter this place, the Cave of Evil, you may never return.

I have reclaimed the command of the Falcon and I follow Rey's directions as she translates the Wookie's gurgle. As a child, my father repeatedly offered to teach me this language, perhaps in an attempt to soften the tension between the hairy one and myself. Angry and stubborn, I had refused. Now, I somewhat regret that I did not learn. Yet, perhaps it is not too late.

"Over there," Rey exclaims and points to an open area, free of the swamps that cover most of the planet. "Set her down in that field. It's adder moss. We won't sink."

I do as she instructs, or in actuality as the Wookie instructs. Even though I have heard of it, it's legends and warnings, this planet is new to me. I may be proud and cocky, but I am not dumb. I know when to listen and follow instructions. And besides, it's Rey and I have promised her my compliance... at least for today.

Stepping out of the freighter, the wet stench of the swamp nearly has me breaking my promise and heading back inside the Falcon. In every direction, all around us, humid and foul swamp steam rises into the air. There is a reason why this planet has no notable intelligent life. No specie with sense and choice would live here. But that's just it, the Rebels have no choice. The First Order has them running and hiding, forcing them to chose a place such as this. Pride hit me before I can stop it and I quickly turn to look Rey's way to ensure she has not noticed. Luckily, she is preoccupied with unloading gear and securing the Falcon.

"Hey, Ben Swolo," Rey yells to me, noticing me watching her idly. Not sure what she means, I frown and the Wookie shrugs clueless. "How about you use those big muscles to help us out?"

Still unsure what her name-play means, I look down at the swell of my arms and chest which are strong and solid underneath my black cloak. Un-deliberately, a natural reaction to her attention, they flex and push even more against the fabric of my clothing. Quickly and easily, using those big muscles as suggested by my woman, I unload 3 speeders from the Falcon and set them into the moss.

Shortly after, with our backs and speeders packed with gear, we set off with the Wookie at the lead. The Pirate Queen sits behind him, holding on tight to his hairy self. She has a thing for the Wookie. Calls him her 'boyfriend'. What she sees in him, I do not know and do not care to know. None of my business and none of my concern. My concern is Rey and this is the only reason why I welcome their presence. When they separate us, Rey and I, Rey will worry and she will need support. I hope the short one and the hairy one can provide it.

The speeders do well through the swamps. We stay above the wet and the mud. Traveling fast enough that the native fauna can't bother us and gracefully dodging the native flora. The sound of the speeders echo along the marshlands and bounce against the stifling forests. I know they can hear us approaching. They saw us fly in and now they are monitoring us closing in. Still, they don't know of me. I am the surprise, a very unwelcome and nasty surprise.

The Wookie begins to slow down and straight ahead, nestled inside groups of gnarl trees, is the remainder of the Rebellion. There is not much left. The First Order has nearly wiped them out. I wait and expect the feeling of pride to fill me like before, but there is nothing. Instead there is emptiness as I watch the small group of shuttles hiding in the shelter of the swamp trees. Seeing it for myself, here and now with Rey, the Wookie, and the Pirate Queen by my side, puts it into a different perspective. It is putting me in another mindset.

The Wookie comes to a stop and we do the same. Ahead, the ramps of the shuttles open and Rebels pour out. None of them are wearing helmets so I can clearly see their smiling faces. They have not spotted me yet, as I have been pushed by Rey behind herself and the Wookie. Once they see me, they won't be smiling anymore.

"Rey," a Rebel thief with dark skin yells out as he runs towards us. His arms are stretched out, expecting a hug from my woman, but I am not worried for I know what will stop him.

"Rey, where have you bee...?"

Just as I predicted, the traitor turned Rebel stops dead. His arms lower to his side, his smile disspeares, and his excitement of our arrival is replaced with outrage. It is him. I know him and so does my saber for it has tasted his flesh... FN-2187.

"Finn," Rey says, as a greeting, as an explanation, and as a warning.

He doesn't know yet. He doesn't know the reason for her return, what I mean to her, and that she will stand with me. Try something and he will learn. Perhaps this time, it will be her saber that will leave a mark on him.

"WHY IS HE HERE?"

His scream echoes and all Rebels stop to see what the traitor is pointing at. Many of them do not know what I look like. They have simply heard the tales of my acts. There is a buzz, like the movement of swarming bees, as the knowledge of my identity is shared amongst the Rebels. Their weapons which but a moment ago had been casually hanging on their belt are now drawn and aimed at us. The Wookie hollers in protest and Rey raises her hands defensively, ready to use the Force if need be.

"Stand down. He will not harm any of you. He is not a danger."

Even to my ears, Rey's word sound ridiculous. We all know what I have done and what I can do. To say I am harmless and pose no threat is like comparing a Nexu to a Loth-cat.

"Not a danger?" The traitor spits back. His words are directed at Rey but he never takes his eyes off of me. "Have you forgotten what he did to me... to you... to Han?"

Rey hesitates. Of course she has not forgotten. She never will. And still, somehow, she manages to love me.

"Finn, he is not the same man. He has changed. He..." The traitor sneers at her words and I want to slice him again with my saber. No one sneers at Rey. "Finn," Rey tries once more, deeming the traitor as someone worthy of her time and effort. What makes him worthy I do not know. "He is here to see his mother to..."

With a fake outraged laugh, the traitor dares to interrupt my soon-to-be wife and my fingers ache for the feel of my saber. "His mother? You really think we are going to let that Monster see the General? So he can kill her too? Have you lost your mind, Rey? Or..." He stops and eyes us back and forth. I can practically hear the rusty little wheels slowly turn inside his traitor brain. "... is he mind controlling you? That's it, isn't it? He is using the Force to control you and to..."

"ENOUGH!"

A surprisingly loud voice booms behind me. I look over my shoulder and angle my gaze downwards to follow the entry of the short one. The Pirate Queen has been standing by, quietly listening and observing at a distance, until I suppose she could stand it no longer.

"That's enough, Finn," she declares, her voice demanding respect and attention which she receives from them all.

"Maz." The traitor is stunned to see her, that is clear. "Maz, why are you here?"

"Finn. The boy is here to see his mother. He is not here for you."

"But Maz..."

"Finn," the short one warns and steps all the way up to the traitor. He kneels at her feet as if she was the Queen of the Galaxy instead of the Pirate Queen. "You have seen and felt what he is capable of. If he was here to cause harm, you know very well you would all be dead by now. If he was here as Lord Ren, would he have flown in on the Falcon and with Chewie and Rey? No, so be a good boy and get out of the way. You are blocking and delaying a mother and son reunion." The traitor still hesitates, still remembering my acts. The short one sighs and slides the glasses to the side. "Finn, do you really want to prevent your General from seeing her long-lost son? How will she react hearing of this? That her son was here, wanting to finally return home and you stopped him?"

The questions hang in the air and there is nervous mumbling amongst the Rebels. Even the traitor is starting to look anxious. Just as they have heard of my inhuman acts as Lord Ren, they must also have heard of Ben Solo and the General's wish for her son to return home. To stand in the way of a reunion might even be considered treason. And what if it is true; that I am their salvation and the only chance the Rebellion have to defeat the First Order?

On shaky legs, the traitor stands up and nods with a scowl. "Remove their weapons, tie his hands, and take him to the brig."

"Finn."

"You heard me, Rey. Hand over your weapons, your lightsaber too."

Three scared Rebels approach us. Taking the weapons from the Pirate Queen, the Wookie, and Rey is the easy part. The hard part is me; disarming me, tying me up, and escorting me to a cell. I watch them amused as they fumble towards me, nudging and pushing each other, with their eyes directed anywhere but at me. I could make it easy on them. I could... but that's not who I am.

Rey end up spoiling the fun. She strips me of my saber, ties my hands, and leads me through the path created by wide-eyed Rebels on either side. I suppose it is quite the sight, a story worthy of telling your kids and grandkids. The great and feared Kylo Ren, grandson of Darth Vader and Supreme Leader of the First Order, tied and led to his captivity. I could feel defeated. I could feel trapped. I could feel murderous rage...

 _'I'll help you'_

Rey's thumb caressing my hand as she leads me. It's what grounds me. It's what keeps the darkness and the anger away. It's what reminds me that it will all be worth it. Even as the cell door closes on me, even as I am left standing alone, and even as the silence and the shadows of the room falls in, my calmness remains. I slide my body down the metal wall and lean my head back. Soon, she will know that I am here. Soon, they will come for me. Soon, I will have to face her and all that I have done.

Soon comes sooner than I thought.

The door to the General's space is swung open by a heavily armed Rebel and I step inside. "Hello, mother."


	17. Chapter 17:1 - REY

**17:1 REY**

"Child, sit down. Pacing and worrying will not make time go faster."

"Maz, I can't sit. I'll go crazy."

"You already are crazy. Fell in love with Kylo Ren, did you not? Don't get any more crazy than that."

I decide to ignore her. There is nothing to say. I refuse to explain myself. No one but Ben and I know what has taken place between us. No one but I know the man beyond the cloak, the saber, and the title. I made a decision and a promise to stand with him. But, right now he is alone and there is no way for me to help him.

"He's a big boy, Rey. He doesn't need you to hold his hand."

Without replying, I leave the sleeping quarters provided to us on the freighter. I need air. I need space. I need to get away from Maz' questions and comments. Chewie rises to join me but I hold my hand up and he sits back down heavily. It is better this way. I am not good company right now.

The air outside the cruiser is musty and smelly. I miss the air on Takodana and Endor where the air was scented with the smell of forest and fresh clean water. Yet... there is something else on this planet than just swamps and mudholes. I can feel it vibrating and pulling at me. For some reason, the Force is strong here. It is stronger than any other place that I have visited. I know nothing of this planet. But I do know the Force and what it feels like. And here, on Dagobah, it is beckoning me to use it.

"Hey!"

I turn and see Finn walking towards me. He tosses me something and as it spins towards me I recognize it. It's my saber. The Rebels have deemed it safe to return our weapons. Most likely an order from the General. It is an odd feeling to be treated and seen as a threat and maybe even the enemy. It's because of Ben... Kylo Ren. But perhaps he is changing that all right now. Maybe at this very moment, he is with the General, his mother, and setting things right.

Finn walks all the way up to me and this time I get the hug that was undelivered earlier. "I've missed you, Rey. I've been worried about you. Why did you just leave?" He grabs my shoulders and push me out to armlength. He studies me, still suspicious and not like the Finn I am used to. "Was it because of him? Kylo Ren? Rey, what are you thinking? That's Kylo Ren. He's a killer. He's a Monster. You know that."

Do I tell him? Who Ben is to me? What he means to me?

I hesitate in answering, so Finn continues. "I can still feel the laser cut my flesh open. I can still see him throw you against that tree. I was sure he had killed you. And, Han? That Monster didn't even flinch. Just tossed Han's body over the edge like it was garbage." Finn's grip on my shoulders tighten. His fingernails painfully dig into me but I don't move. "Why, Rey? Why did you bring him? Why you? Why are you with him? Why do you shield him? Why, Rey? **WHY**?"

The last question is yelled and the sudden loud noise causes all movements to seize around us. All Rebels within a half a mile must have heard it. They may even have heard it from inside the Cruiser. If that's the case, it won't be long until Chewie joins us. He might like Finn, but if he would have to chose, he would chose me. We have been through too much not to be linked. And also, there is something else. In some way, somehow, we just belong... like family.

"Finn, too much has happened since I left. It's only been weeks but what we have been through together, I..."

"We?... Together?" Finn interrupts and his hold on tighten even further. "Rey, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying Kylo Ren is not the man you think he is. I'm saying that there are reasons why he did what he did. Skywalker believed he had turned to the dark side and he..."

Finn sneers and shakes his head at me as he releases his grip on my shoulders. "You're going to blame it on Skywalker? Really, Rey?" He begins to pace in front of me while staring me down. "He really did brainwash you. How did he do it; by using the Force, by threatening you, or by bribing you? Which is it, Rey?"

I care for Finn like a brother but I've had enough. "If he is still a Monster, I would have to be a Monster too, and if so... you would all be dead."

I walk away, leaving Finn gaping in shock. I get what he is saying. If the roles were reversed, I would react the same way. Last time Finn saw Ben, it was on Crait where Ben as the new Supreme Leader led the First Order in the assault on the Rebels. We saved them all that day, Chewie and I, when we escaped in the Falcon. If we had not gotten to them in time, Ben would have succeeded in wiping them all out. So I understand.

"Just so you know..." Finn calls out behind me and I turn, expecting more of the same. Instead of the same, he delivers the message that I have been dreading."... the General and her council is meeting with your Monster right now. You'd better be right about him, Rey. If there is any darkness left in him, she will know."

I turn my gaze to the freighter in the back, the one I led Ben to. He is in there, meeting his mother. He will not only face her, but he will stand trial for all the acts that he has committed since that night at the Jedi Temple. I trust him. It's everyone else I do not trust. Will they be able to see the man? Or will they be just like Finn... and only see a Monster?


	18. 17:2 BEN

**17:2 BEN**

"Hello, Mother."

I greet her as I step inside. She is not alone. Besides the dozen or so armed Resistance fighters, there are numerous other Rebels of higher ranking. I only recognize one. It is the Pilot, the one I had in my interrogation chair and the one whose brain I easily manipulated. I had him screaming and crying like a child under my mind probe. He is said to be the best pilot in the Resistance. He might be, it's possible, but once I join the Rebellion that title will become mine.

"Ben, you're here!?" My mother says, half stating and half questioning.

She starts to take a step towards me but she is quickly held back by one of her Rebels. A small smile on her dry pale lips shows that she is happy to see me. She is the only one. The rest of the room eyes me with hate, suspicion, and anxious reservation. Normally, I would bask in their showcase of recognition and fear. It tells me that my name is notorious and tales of my deadly ability is known across the Galaxy.

"Sit."

I am bravely ordered by the Pilot. I allow it... this time. Without a word or pause, I sit down in the designated chair. The Resistance Pilot might think that the roles are reversed, that I am as much his prisoner and at his mercy as he was last time we met. He is wrong. At any time, I could break out of these restraints. And at any time, I could kill them all and make my escape. I could but I made a promise and I will keep it. Anger, pride, and the need for dominance that was once the priority in my life is no longer so. She comes first; her wishes, her wants, and her needs. Now, everything I do revolves around securing a future with her.

"Why are you here?"

A tall man, nearly my own impressive height, with white hair and beard dares to move closer to ask me the obvious question. I remember the voice and as I look a bit harder, I recognize the man.

"You have aged poorly, Major Caluan Ematt."

"It's General now, Boy" he corrects me and he stretches to stand a bit taller. I smirk at his childish behavior and anger flashes briefly across the General's face. "You are the one looking rough for your age. That's quite a scar. I heard Rey of Jakku gave it to you."

"She did," I reply simply, lacking all interest in pursuing any further conversation with the aging soldier.

"Is it true, Ben?" It is my mother speaking to me so I turn my gaze from the General to her. Her voice is soft and low as she speaks. "Did you arrive on the Falcon, with Maz Kanata, Chewie, and Rey?"

"I did."

"Why, Ben?" She shakes her head slowly, concern and worry on her face.

"I'm home, Mother. Isn't that what you wanted?"

My charged question freezes and electrifies the room. Several Rebels shuffle and glance at each other. I keep my eyes on my mother. Not matter what all the others feel, think, and want, she will have the final word. And it is not just because she is the General and the Commander in Chief of the Resistance. She is also a Skywalker and the Force is strong with her, just like it was with her father, with her brother, and now with me.

"You're a killer!" The Pilot suddenly spits out. Curious to see how far he will dare to go and how strongly he will dare to attack, I sit back and watch him. "You have killed thousands. You killed your father, and you almost killed your mother when you fired onto the Star Cruiser Raddus bridge."

"That wasn't me. I was locked and ready but I never fired."

The Pilot sneers, not believing. "Next, you will say you didn't destroy the hanger."

"No, that was me," I admit casually.

The Pilot is practically fuming. I am setting him off like no one probably ever has before. Between us it is personal. Not just because of the interrogation and the Jedi mind probe, but because he knows... I'm better than him in every way.

General Caluan Ematt steps up, irritation marking his face and stance. "Let me ask you again. Why... Are... You... Here?"

"To join your Rebellion."

The Pilots face goes blank, like all other faces around me, and then he busts out in ridiculous and fake laughter. "You must be kidding?! Join us? You? The Supreme Leader of The First Order?" I don't answer. Collected and calm, I wait for the next outburst and firing of insults. "You're a Monster. You kill and enjoy it. You have killed thousands of innocents."

"And how many have you killed, Pilot?" I ask and then glance around the room, setting my dark eyes on all of them. "All of you have blood on your hands. All of you are killers."

"None of us have killed their own father."

There it is again. The ultimate crime which will forever define me. No matter what I do for the rest of my life, this act will always linger in my shadow.

"What's done is done," I say and the look on my mother's face reflects the thoughts of everyone else. "You all think me a Monster and, yes, I am. A Monster is what you need if you want to defeat the First Order. I am here to join the Rebellion. Accept me or refuse me. But know this, refuse me and you don't only lose one Jedi Master. You lose two. Where I go, Rey goes."

Before anyone has time to say anything, I stand up and the metal restraints around my wrists fall to the floor. With the flick of my fingers, my saber which has been hiding in the back of the room, finds it way into my hand. The Rebels look with horrified astonishment at the device laying in pieces on the hard floor and at the deadly light saber in my grasp. With these simple acts, I have proven that I was always in control. I have shown them that at any time I could have used the Force and freed myself. My compliance was a choice and I was never truly their prisoner.

"I am leaving. When you have decided, you know where to find me." I head towards the door where I am blocked by the armed guards that brought me from the cell. With trembling arms, they raise their weapons and take aim at me. "Mother, order them to lower their weapons and step aside, " I say and then wait, fully confident in what will happen next.

I am correct. "Let him pass," my mother orders and the guards move to the sides. I am almost at the door when my mother voices one last questions. " Answer me truthfully, Ben. Why are you here, why have you left the First Order, and why do you wish to join our Rebellion? Why now?"

Without turning around and without stopping, I answer as I leave. "For her."


	19. Chapter 19 Dagobah

**19\. BEN**

I feel him behind me before I hear him. Ignoring, hoping he will get smart and get lost, I keep walking towards the exit. What I need is to find Rey. I know she is waiting for me. I want to pick her up, press her to me, and let her know that there is no need to worry. The words were not spoken but I know they will not refuse me. With both Rey and I on their side, they will finally stand a chance against the First Order.

I sigh irritated as I still feel his presence and at my heels. He is either very brave or very stupid for approaching a Jedi Master at the rear. I would say it's the latter. My former self would have swung around and sliced him in half with the saber. Truth is, I'm itching to do it. There is something about the guy. He gets to me almost as badly as I get to him. It's his ugly face. It's his annoying voice. It's his ridiculous hair. But mostly, it's because he desires what is mine.

At the shuttle ramp, as my fingers are turning white from gripping the saber so tightly and my insides boiling like a volcano, I stop. "Don't", I warn.

He walks around me and with the decline of the ramp, his stature is even more laughable. Compared to me, and not just because of my height but also the width of my chest and the size of my arms, the man looks like a weak teenage boy. If I wanted to... no, correction because I do want to... if I could and had not made a promise to Rey, I would deck the guy. One punch, that is all it would take. I wouldn't have to use the Force or the saber, just my raw strength.

"I'm not done with you... Kylo Ren."

The way he says my name does me in and there is no stopping the explosive reaction. With a Monster's instinct, my hand curl into the shape of a fist and my upperbody muscles flex. I pivot my hips and tighten my quads as I reach back to load the blow. The punch is delievered at the corner of his left lip and cheek. Amused and impressed by my own power, I watch as the Pilot takes flight without the use of an aircraft. He lands ungracefully below the ramp on the mossy surface in a human pile of disgrace.

Feeling once again calm and back in control, I walk down the ramp to stop and look down at him. "Now are you done?"

Pure hate is what I see in the Pilot's eyes as he looks back up at me. It doesn't bother me. I've been dealing with hate most of my life. Even Rey used to hate me and call me a Monster, and now she loves me. Who knows, maybe one day this Pilot will be my wingman.

I leave but then I remember what else needs to be settled. "So we're clear..." I say and look over my shoulder. "Rey is mine."

He flinches, as if I punched him again, but then he freezes as a realization hits. "STAY OUT OF MY HEAD," the Pilot yells, wrongly assuming that I need my Jedi skills to read him.

"I've been in your head. I have no need or wish to go there again."

His yelling follows me at my back. "YOU WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US!"

I sneer, confident in my worth and my position. "I'm a Skywalker. It's my blood right."

The General's freighter is in the far back, sheltered by all the others. As I stay straight, fast long strides towards the place where we parked our speeders, the Rebels cautiously watch me as I pass by. I am in my black cloak, the light saber is in my hand, and my expression is that of Lord Ren. I don't care about any of them. Even if I join the Rebellion and fight on their side, they will never mean anything to me. I am here for Rey and I will fight for us, whichever side that means.

I see her before she sees me. She is working on a speeder while carrying on a heated conversation with the Wookie. As I approach, I see black oil grease on her hands, arms, and cheek, stains from the moss and the swamp on her clothes, and dried leaves and grass in her hair. She has never looked more perfect.

She looks up, sees me, and takes off in a sprint. My saber drops to the moss as she slams into me and I wrap my arms around her. She is back where she belongs and I feel like I can breath normally again. Whenever she is not near, I get anxious. Eventhough she is capable, more capable than most, I feel the need to guard and protect her. I want to be her weapon and her shield for the rest of her life.

"I was worried," she says, like I am the one who needs protection.

"I know," I reply and place a kiss at the base of her neck.

She wraps her arms tighter around me. "What happened? Did they let you go?"

"I asked to join the Rebellion and I let myself go".

"And? What did they say?" She asks and pulls out of my grip.

I pick a few leaves out of her hair and rub an oil spot on her forehead with my thumb. "They will. With us, you and I, they can defeat the First Order."

She nods slowly thoughtfully and then brightens as she spots something behind me. "There's Poe!" She declares and waves happily. She squints, trying to see clearer. "His face!" She exclaims, once she can see. "What happened to him?"

I don't turn around for I have no interest in seeing the man again and I don't try to hide my involvement. "Me. I happened to him," I admit guiltfree for the Pilot had it coming. "He desires you."

"So you hit him?"

"Yes," I say, matter of fact. Up ahead I spot another one who has a beating coming and I signal to Rey with a flick of my saber. "That one, the Traitor, he too desires you."

Rey looks over her shoulder and sees who I speak of. "Finn? Finn has a girl."

I evaluate the dark stout one walking alongside him and sneer. "Only cause you are taken."

Rey decides not to argue with me. A wise decision for I would have crushed every argument she could have come up with. I will equally crush anyone who tries to take her from me. Touching, looking, and even dreaming of her will warrant a crushing.

In my absence, I find that the Wookie and Rey have piloted the Falcon to the Rebel camp. It suits me perfectly. I have no intentions on becoming bunk buddies with the Rebels. It's bad enough that the Wookie and Pirate Queen are here. Luckily for them, the short one can cook and tell entertaining tales, and the hairy one is decent as a Pilot and almost as intimidating to look at as myself. And, more importantly, they make Rey happy.

Rey takes my hand with one and wraps the other around my bicep as we walk to the Falcon. "Did you meet your mother?"

"Yes," I simply reply and leave it at that.

Satisfied, Rey doesn't press for additional information. It is one of the reason why I love her. She lets me be me. She doesn't expect and push for more than what I am willing to give. Curiosity and nosiness is not in her character. She is a user and knower of the Force. And therefore, she knows that the Force will reveal and explain all in its proper time.

The rest of the afternoon turns into one extensive lesson. Rey and the Wookie takes me through every system and operation of the Falcon. There is no longer a doubt in my mind that the Falcon is considered my freighter by them both. Rey I understand, but the Wookie I thought would put up more of a fight. Why is he surrendering so easily and assisting so eagerly?

"Have Rey told you? That I knew them both? Your grandparents?"

The Short one has sat down across from me and her voice quiets both Rey and the Wookie. "No. She has not," I reply and place down the tool in my hand to show her that she has my full attention.

"Your strength with the Force and your heated temper, they are both traits inherited from your grandfather. Even before the Dark Side tricked and took him, his temperament could easily be shook. Your grandmother, her love and support, is what kept him leveled. I saw it once with my own eyes. Your grandfather had tracked down a feared and notorious smuggler of children for weeks and finally caught him. I watched how your grandfather raised his saber ready to strike and then something halted his movement. Anger which had his features twisted with fury faded and was replaced with collected calmness. The smuggler was handcuffed and led away instead of facing immediate execution. What do you think stopped him, your grandfather?"

The question is mine to answer. "He had made her a promise. He didn't want to fail her and risk losing her love." I am speaking of my grandfather but my words could also be of myself.

Pleased with my reply, the Pirate Queen continues. "Now your grandmother, she was known across the Galaxy for her fierce persistence and her steadfast loyalty. Once she believed in something or someone, nothing could get her to desert or betray. This you have also inherited. You hold no fear and never hesitate to fight for what you believe in and for the one you love."

At this, my eyes leave the Short One and find Rey. The Short One speaks the truth. For Rey, to protect her and to create a safe haven for us, I will do anything and without hesitation.

The Pirate Queen reaches into a bag by her tiny feet and pulls out a small box. "Have Rey told you that I have in my possession many of your grandparents' treasures?"

This time, I nod slowly. "Yes. She has."

"They are all yours," she assures me, yet the box never leaves her hand. Instead, she carefully weighs it side to side while watching its movement solemnly. "I have never seen myself as the owner of these items but simply their caretaker. I have always known that one day their true owner would come to claim them."

I frown at her statement. "True owner? Me? What of Luke? What of my mother?"

While answering, the Pirate Queen thoughtfully plays with the lid of the box, as if to draw my attention and tease my curiosity. "I may not be able to wield its powers as you can but I do know the Force. I can feel it and I can interpret it. Your uncle and your mother were never intended to inherit these heirlooms. Possessing them would not have affected them and impacted their choices like they will you. You're linked and not just the three of you, but the four of you. You have known that since you first saw Rey with your grandfather's light saber." The Pirate Queen pause and her fingers grow still around the box. Then her head lifts and she looks over and past my left shoulder. "Would you not agree... General Organa?"

Silence and then a familiar raspy voice replies. "Yes, Maz Kanata. I agree."

I do not turn around. I wait for my mother to decide how to begin. Why not? She is the one, after all, who has sought me out.

"We will leave the two of you alone," Rey says and gets up. The Wookie and the Pirate Queen follow closely behind her. "General," I hear her greet my mother in passing as they exit.

More silence follows but I still do not turn around. I wait.

I do not have to wait long. "So what is your story with Rey?"

"I love her and she loves me."

A low small laugh is followed by her approval. "That is a good story, Ben." She takes a few steps closer to me but mindfully keeps her distance. "I still can't believe you are truly here and with Chewie and with the Millennium Falcon." Her voice holds a tremble when she speaks. Tears are not far off. "I always thought it would be the love of your parents, your father's and mine, that would bring you home. But it was Rey, wasn't it? She is the only reason that you are here."

"Rey," I say and just the mere use of her name stirs me. "I've tortured and tried to kill her. She's cut me and called me a Monster. But now, nothing can keep us apart. Yes, she is the reason."

"The Force brought you together. No matter how far apart you were and what side you fought on. It did not matter because the Force had decided your fate and that your fate were linked. Just like my mother's and father's ... and just like mine and Han's." Her voice breaks at my father's name and I know what lingers. I stand up, preparing for what is coming, but I still do not turn around. "I really hope..." she barely manages to continue. Her voice is but a hushed tremble as she speaks. "... that you and Rey will have a better ending than... than..."

She is not able to finish her sentence but there is no need to.

Wanting to get it over it, I finally turn to look at her. "Say it!" I tell her. Yet, she still hesitates, perhaps fearing my reply. "Say It!" I repeat, this time with more force as I move closer to tower over her. She flinches at my raised voice and takes a small shaky step backwards. "SAY IT!"

With tears in her eyes, she looks up at me and place a quivering hand to my chest. "Your father wasn't perfect, Ben, but he loved you."

"I know," I reply for I do know. Even at his moment of death, as I pierced him with my saber and tossed him over the edge, he loved me.

"Rey told me what took place between you and Luke at the temple. If only I would have known. If Luke would have consulted in me. Or, if you would have told me. Maybe I could have ..."

"It's done. It's in the past. Let go!" I cut her off but she merely stares at me. Guilt and sorrow has her stuck in the past. "Just let go! It's the only way to move forward. " Despite my words, I see that she is still holding on, just like Rey did. To make her let go, I am going to have to make her shatter to pieces. " **LET GO**!"

My bellowing echoes against the metal of the hull and my mother crumbles to the floor. She finally lets go. It's loud and it's ugly, but it's also very needed. The tears fall and the body shake. I simply watch. I don't have it in me to give her the comfort she needs. Maybe one day in the future, I will be able to wrap my arms around her and console her. But not today. Today all I can offer her is time and space to properly mourn.

I keep my eyes on her as she cries. As the minutes pass, the crying slows and fades. Then, on unstable legs she finds the ability to rise. For a brief moment, I consider offering her my arm for support. Seeing her struggle pulls at old feelings. She was once my everything, just like Rey is now. Once, when I was young, I loved her and I would have done anything for her.

"Walk with me, please," she asks and I comply.

The sun is strong as we exit the Falcon and so is the stench from the swamps. Rey and the other two rise from their seated position in the moss to watch us. With the back of her hand, my mother wipes the last bit of fallen tears from her eyes. She has fully collected herself. She is back to being the strong and trusted leader of the Rebellion.

"A decision was made after you left," she says and I know to what she is referring. She is about to tell me if I have been granted the honor of joining her pack of Rebels. "You can join us... but there is one condition."

This captures my interest and I turn to look at her. "What condition?" I ask and wonder what rules they will apply to try and control me. "Hand over my saber? No use of the Force? Stay within..."

"No," she interupts. Her face is grave and worried as she shift her gaze to me. "You have to enter the Cave of Evil."


	20. Rey - The Ultimatum

20\. REY - The Ultimatum

"I don't like it. You know you don't have to do it. They need us to defeat the First Order."

Ben leans down to kiss the frown on my forehead and I close my eyes tightly to hold on to the moment.

"Cave of Evil, how bad can it be?" Ben jokes and I want to hit him.

"Ben," I try and he dares to laugh. Frustrated, I turn my back to him. "Please don't joke. Many of whom have entered have died."

Walking up, he wraps his arms around me and I lean my head back onto his chest. We stand like this for several minutes. Neither of us speak and with our breathing synchronizing in speed and depth. His chest lifting with my chest and his warm exhale mixing with mine. I never want to move. But nothing ever lasts forever.

Ben begins to speak in an effort to ease my worry. "It's a cave, Rey. Whatever is in there, it can't hurt me. It's Evil. I'm Evil. Whoever died was weak. They didn't have my powers and they didn't have this."

He squeezes me tighter and places a kiss at the top of my head. I feel myself surrendering. Not that there is a choice. This is not about the Rebels and their ultimatum. Ben could care less of what they want and need. He knows as well as I that they would never dare to refuse him. If they did, they would forfeit their best chance at winning this fight. And, I am sure, they also fear what Ben might do if they would tell him no. Entering the Cave is all about Ben. This is who he is. A challenge has been presented; a dark, exciting, and dangerous challenge. And Ben is not only accepting the challenge, he is looking forward to it.

"When?" I ask, for there is nothing else to say. The decision was Ben's and he has made it.

"Tomorrow," he replies. "No need to wait."

"No need," I echo back, feeling a coldness creep up on me. It feels like a forewarning. "I'll come with you."

"I know you will. But only to the entrance of the cave. Only I enter."

Frustration and anger rise. "Why? Because it's dangerous? Because I might die?"

"Yes," he whispers back, his lips at my ear. I try to rotate to see him but he holds me tight and close. " Please. Let me keep you safe, Rey. Please."

In my head, I had been preparing an argument. Even before I was a Jedi, I never feared danger. Ever battle will have a risk of death, but still I always chose to fight. And, his fight is also my fight. This is what I was going to say. I was but his words turn me mute. Hearing him say Please has this effect on me. Lord Kylo Ren, the strongest and most feared, asking me please.

"If I see something... hear something... sense something, I'm coming... and I will tear that cave apart until I find you."

"I know you will."


End file.
